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Alright well I'm home now.
The arrangement was that we were going to have some beer before we got down to business. On my way there, I decided that because it was my first gay sex, I didn't want to actually have anal intercourse, only oral. I decided this on my own, before arriving.
I go up to his apartment complex, buzz his door. He answers. "Hello?" I say "Hey, it's Mike." He says "Come on up, door will be unlocked." So I go on up.
I knocked a bit first, then I opened the door. Now here's what I wasn't expecting. Up until this point I wasn't nervous at all, which I thought was kind of weird since it was a totally new experience I was about to partake in, and it's something that I've always wanted to do but never had the guts. The time was finally upon me, and I wasn't nervous. That was until I closed and locked the door.
He has a few candles lit and a porno playing on the TV. It wasn't a gay porno, it was straight. Looked like something from the 80s, I recognized the guy, was Peter north. A fellow Canadian.
Bill is sitting on his couch, legs splayed wide open, boxers covering his junk. He says "Hey, did you have a hard time finding the place?" I say no, your directions were perfect. He then tells me to make myself comfortable. Its clear at this point that he's already been drinking and he's ready to go. I sit down beside him and just watch the TV, which is directly across from the couch the two of us are sitting on side-by-side.
He says "So you've never done this before?" I say "No, I've only thought about it." He tells me that he in fact has done this three times before. By that I mean invite guys over to his place for non-consensual sex. I am a little surprised at this, as it's in direct contradiction to what he told me at the bar that night after work. I confront him with this deception and he says he didn't tell me the truth because he wasn't totally sure that he was safe in telling me. He wasn't sure if I was actually interested of if I was trying to get dirt on him. Well now I know the truth.
So I'm sitting there, and he says 'Whenever you're ready, you can go down on me." Now, that was a bit forward; we didn't discuss exactly what we were going to do before I arrived, so in a way he was right to move forward, but it still took me a little off guard. I checked my nerves, which surprisingly had again calmed to the point prior to arriving at his door.
I went down on him.
Without being too graphic (I can elaborate later if you're interested) I now know that this is NOT for me.
NOT FOR ME.
I was at his place for what couldn't have been longer than 20 minutes. After he ejaculated, I asked for a napkin, for which he got up and went into another room. It was at that point that I put my jacket back on, thanked him for the hospitality and promptly left.
I'm not sure if I regret doing this tonight, but one thing is for certain. I won't be doing it again. It did not stimulate or excite me. I'm not disgusted by myself for having done it, but I'm not sure I'm glad either.
Not sure how this will play out at work. That's the one thing that's now preoccupying my thoughts tonight. Hopefully some of you can alleviate my anxiety, though judging from the posts this thread has received in anticipation of my confession, I'm not holding my breath.
