[img]http://animasons.capefeare.com/ANIMATIONS/chickwiththerack.gif[/img]

doctor nick - "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing....till I jam this down your throat!"

Whatever her name is: You said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to toss the drunk!
Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things. Ooh yeah.

Disco Stu: Disco Stu has ouzo for two-zu.

Ralph: He told me to burn things.

This isn't a quote but the funniest thing I've ever seen on that show was when Lenny and Carl were ontop of Lisa and Bart's shoulders play fighting.

You could see them going at it in the back of the frame in one of the episodes - I was rofl, can't remember the episode though.

Homer: Hey Count Chocula... I thought you were trying to get off the stuff ?

Count Chocula: Don't look at me I'm a monster !

they just aired that over here last night. that was when homer got pwnt by a bear and was trying to find a way to win back his dignity. he built a suit of armor out of some pots, pans and a pitch fork. lenny and carl went camping with him to find the bear.

chief wiggum "i hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn"

bite my shinny metal ass!

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

Bart: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs, then pauses) So, to answer you question, I don't know.

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders... my friend!
Lenny: What did he say?
Carl: I dunno. Somethin' about being gay.

Chief Wiggum: Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!

Homer: What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

Kent Brockman: Dozens of people are gunned down each day, but until now, none of them was important. At 3:00 PM Friday, local aurocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot following a tense confrontation at town hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to "alive."

[Santa's Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer's Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you'll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D'oh.

Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.
Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?
[focuses in on ear plug/mic]
Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.
Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
Homer: Get off my property.

Ralph: Your breath smells like dead bunnies.

Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principle -- or a caterpillar.

LOL

Re: Favourite Simpsons Quotes
 

Ralph: Why do people wun from me?
(pants darken with spreading urine. Smile slowly crosses face)

Grampa: You cowardly Swede! (I now use the phrase "cowardly swede" in my daily conversation)

Kent Brockman: Top of the morning to ye on this gray, grizzly afternoon. Kent O'Brockman live on Main Street, where today everyone is a little bit Irish, except, of course, for the gays and the Italians.


Announcer: The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.


Grandpa Simpson: We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah - the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[url:4f577]http://www.scorpionsshack.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Simpsons%20-%2070%20Ralph%20Wiggum%20Quotes.zip[/url:4f577]

link fixed!
rock:

[quote="Scorpion -]M15F1T[-":b4a67][url:b4a67]http://www.scorpionsshack.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Simpsons%20-%2070%20Ralph%20Wiggum%20Quotes.mp3[/url:b4a67]
rock:[/quote:b4a67]

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