Started reading then stopped after the 4th paragraph...way to many cliches.
The whole beginning with the idea of the lone submarine captain, having his crew look up to him as a big brother was the worst cliche. This guy has watched das boot to many times.

Lol, I actually thought about that a bit too, but I reccomend you finish it up, personally, I liked the last half a bit better, for the first half he seems to sort of be setting the scene.
[quote="9mm BeRetTa":a4303]Was alright.

It's actually not a long read at all, so all of you above should read.[/quote:a4303]Cool, once again, thanks. Any suggestions for improvement?

Anyway, +1's to the both of you(danm the 1 hour rule lol).