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-   -   "Funniest thing you heard today" thread. (alliedassault.us/showthread.php?t=54445)

butch 05-14-2007 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoner
"Listen, I'll get around to it when I'm done this. Until then, fuck off. Please...thank you."

So far today, this is it.. biggrin:

Bucknub 05-14-2007 11:24 AM

"we were sitting around the lunch room asking eachother about their middle names, and one guy told us he had two middle names, so I said but asshole is one word"

not from me, but I thought it was hilarious

Nyck 05-14-2007 11:55 AM

"WTF is this real!?"

- dinosaur videos on youtube

Zoner 05-14-2007 12:14 PM

"Does anyone have a UBS cord I can use with my camera?"

Yes, he said "UBS", not "USB". rolleyes:

Bucknub 05-14-2007 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zoner
"Does anyone have a UBS cord I can use with my camera?"

Yes, he said "UBS", not "USB". rolleyes:

lmao I fucking hate people who call electionic and peripherals by the wrong name.

Coleman 05-14-2007 01:00 PM

Me: girls have naked pillow fights all the time. They always end with making up, which leads to, full blown make out sessions
myfriend: and u know this from personal experience?
Me: haha it's another running joke between guys
myfriend: thats disappointing, none of our pillow fights led to full blown make out sessions

Zoner 05-14-2007 02:28 PM

"Man, that fucker is so cheap, he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss!"

Zoner 05-16-2007 09:02 AM

"I'd hit it with a wet chain and burn the corpse to make sure it didn't regenerate."

Jakke 05-16-2007 09:32 AM

it seems i made out with a girl last weekend.

friend : "dude, did you had sex with this girl "
me: " i don't know, was she hot ?"

some kind of inside joke

Zoner 05-16-2007 01:03 PM

"I like burning my candle, then pouring the hot wax on my nips as I fingerblast my own asshole."

eeves 05-17-2007 03:42 AM

"God said Fuck you ...and i went to bed"

Zoner 05-17-2007 03:03 PM

"The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat."

Zoner 05-22-2007 08:11 AM

Me: "Man, I've gone through a ton of tissues over the weekend."
Co-worker: "Why? Downloading porn all weekend?"
Me: "No, head cold. I jack it in tube socks only"
Co-worker: "Me too."
Me: "LAWL!"

Proteus 05-22-2007 10:55 AM

The other day my dad and I were trying to do something with my 360 and my dad told me that we had to clear the "cashay."

Then I was like, "Uuuum you mean the CACHE?"
And he was like, "No, the cashay..."
And I was like, "Whatever dude."

Coleman 05-28-2007 10:55 PM

I was doing a 15/15 challenge today at work:

Must eat the whole thing in under 15 minutes or you must pay $15. No puking allowed. So if you win, you get a free huge-ass sundae and your picture on the wall.

15/15 challenge =
A sand toy bucket filled with:
4 donuts
5 scoops of ice cream
1 banana
choice of caramel, butter scotch, hot fudge
3 different toppings
whipped cream
5 cherries

So i was challenging my manager to see who could do it quickest. He's gay. In the middle of it he started talking smack talk. He goes to me I'm a fag, you better watch out. You know as well as I do what I can put in this mouth." and then proceeded to put a HUGE scoop of ice cream in his mouth. He beat me in the end. I was pretty much done with 3.5 mins left. But I couldn't finish the last 3 spoon fulls of sprinkles left on the bottom...I couldn't hold it down.


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