I just remembered this one.
Archie and the gang dump homer out of there car onto his front lawn and say
"Now stay out of Riverdale"

thats not funny at all, u ruined the thread hake:

Maybe because you dont get the joke.
ever think of that??
Ass

[quote:c9d5f]thats not funny at all, u ruined the thread [/quote:c9d5f]

You ruin every thread, n00b. hake:

It was jokes Buckweed...he was thrown out of the car by the archie gang and then they said it

GOD dude at least watch the show...instead of just typing simpsons quotes in global and using them.

[/quote]You ruin every thread, n00b. hake:[/quote]

Who are you talking to?

He was refering to Buckweed.

Ok,
Thats what I thought

hahah u guys take shit too seriously , i was fuckin joking around so fuckin relax, jeez

I laughed out loud when I read that... OMG...[/quote:bc2f4]

Me too. When I first saw that one I laughed my ass off.

Anyone remember the one where its Maggies birthday and thy open the door and they see Grndpa Simpson saying "Happy Birthday" to the black people down the street? Its a pretty old one I think, I probably saw it when I was 10 or 12 and I literally laughed for days.

"They call them fingers, but I've never seen them 'fing'.

Lisa: "But mom! if you take away our cartoons we'll lose our *something something* and become robots"
Bart: "really? what kind of robots?"

Grounds keeper willy: "Aghh! its a monsters, kill it, kill it!"
lisa: "stop! its not a monsters, its just mr burns"
GKW: "aww its mr burns...kill it! kill it!"


bart: "But mom, i really want that game!"
homer: "I know how you feel son, when i was your age i wanted table football game, and my parents bought it for me and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight."

homer: "oh, they have the internet on computers now"

marge: "Bart, no!"
bart: "hey"
marge: "sorry, force of habit - Lisa no!"

homer: "For the last time flanders no I....wait, tomorrow? sure! id love to come to your barbeque, and im gonna bring the thickest juiciest steaks youve ever seen"
Flander: "mmm mmm mmm sounds delish"
Homer: "well, see you tomorrow......hehehe, the jokes on him i'll be dead by then"

Mmm....organized crime.

jimbo: "I heard this guys ASS has its own congressment"

lisa: " Look in the tunk, ....he must mean trunk"

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!"

both by homer

Homer: " I was at a pornography store, I was buying pornography"

Homer: " Call mr plow, thats my name, that name again is mr plow"

...anytime when it's obvious what should be done, and Homer says "yeah...but whaddaya gonna do..?.."

"mmm.........forbiden donut."

homer: "So you tried you best and failed miserably. the lesson is, never try"

george bush sr: "if he thinks george bush will stay out of the gutter, he doesnt know george bush"

otto: "bart, as the only adult around here i think i should say something. cool!"

homer "I am so smart, i am so smart, S.M.R.T I mean S.M.A.R.T"

Frank Grimes:(hes going mad) "i can do anything i want because im homer simpson!"
Homer:"hah you wish"

[Praying heavenward]
Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

---

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man...
[laughs hysterically]
Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know.

---
Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?

---

Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!

---

Homer: But wait. You can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson.
Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club?
Homer: Uh... actually my name is Barney. Barney Gumble.
Les: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister?
Homer: Uh, actually my real name is uh, think Krusty, think, Joe Valachi.
Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime?
Homer: Benedict Arnold!
Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British?
Homer: D'oh!

---

Mr. Burns: Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash!
Smithers: Um, well, sir... it happened twenty five years before I was born.
Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything!


---

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

---

Mulder: Look at this, Scully: there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Scully: Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.

---

Lisa: I like him! He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance...
Homer: [walking by] My ears are burning.
Lisa: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad.
Homer: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip.
Marge: Mmm...

---

Kent Brockman: ...and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.


---

Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm and alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem!

---

Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation.
Homer: Say it in English, Doc.
Dr. Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery.
Homer: Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo.
Dr. Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
Homer: Could you dumb it down a shade?

---

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.

---

Mr. Burns: Who is that fireband, Smithers?
Smithers: That's Homer Simpson.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude...
Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell.

---

Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
Smithers: If *you* did it, sir?


---

Homer: Whoa, careful now. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types. So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone.
Snake: Three card monte!
Homer: Woo hoo! Easy money!

---

Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.

---

[While operating on Homer.]
Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.

---

[Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead.]
Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!


---

Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

---

Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?


---

Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?
Homer's Brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Ummm... revenge?
Homer's Brain: Okay, that's it. I'm outta here.
[Sound FX: step step step step step... slam]


---

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this Bible!
Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.

---

Leonard Nimoy: Good evening, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, so in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is "no."

---

[In the car on the way to Florida]
Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me!
Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing!
Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown.
Homer: My pockets hurt.

Luch Lady dorris do you have any greace

Yes.yes we do

The Greace me up women!