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-   -   Funny jokes, i mean funny jokes and interesting facts (alliedassault.us/showthread.php?t=40577)

Machette 09-23-2004 10:35 PM
Shut the fuck up, you cunt.

fujimi7su 09-23-2004 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
Shut the fuck up, you cunt.
BURN

BURN

BURN

oOo:

Ferich 09-23-2004 10:37 PM
I love Canada as much as I love the USA....in general.

fujimi7su 09-23-2004 10:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferich
I love Canada as much as I love the USA....in general.
canada would be cool if it wasnt for the french, oh and short

Machette 09-23-2004 10:38 PM
[img]http://ktog.net/upload/fuckyou.gif[/img]

Drew 09-23-2004 10:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

Eames, why don't you tell the joke about the friend in the airport:

Your buddy gets on the plane with a shiner on his right eye. The who sits down next to him has a shiner on the exact same eye. So the guy asks your buddy, "Hey, how did you get your black eye?" And your buddy says, "Well, it was kind of a tongue twister thing. I was at the ticket counter and I meant to ask for two tickets to Pittsburgh, only the clerk had huge knockers and I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh. It went downhill from there." So the guy says to your buddy, "That's amazing. I got mine from a bit of a tongue twister as well. I was sitting at the breakfast table with my wife this morning. I meant to say, 'Honey, could you pass the cream?' but it came out, 'You ruined my life you self-centered, soul-sucking bitch.'"

fujimi7su 09-23-2004 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
[img]http://ktog.net/upload/fuckyou.gif[/img]
VACUUM

VACUUM

oOo:

why must you be so hostile, all i want is love cry: loney:

fujimi7su 09-23-2004 10:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

Eames, why don't you tell the joke about the friend in the airport:

Your buddy gets on the plane with a shiner on his right eye. The who sits down next to him has a shiner on the exact same eye. So the guy asks your buddy, "Hey, how did you get your black eye?" And your buddy says, "Well, it was kind of a tongue twister thing. I was at the ticket counter and I meant to ask for two tickets to Pittsburgh, only the clerk had huge knockers and I asked for two pickets to Tittsburgh. It went downhill from there." So the guy says to your buddy, "That's amazing. I got mine from a bit of a tongue twister as well. I was sitting at the breakfast table with my wife this morning. I meant to say, 'Honey, could you pass the cream?' but it came out, 'You ruined my life you self-centered, soul-sucking bitch.'"
happy:

Machette 09-23-2004 10:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Machette
another great canada vs.america thread ffs... annoy:
I think the discussion on America vs. Canada is pretty much over.

It's not over till short hand replies... oOo:

Ferich 09-23-2004 10:45 PM
It's not over tilWHO GIVES A FUCK

Machette 09-23-2004 10:46 PM
eek:

Fireal 09-23-2004 10:56 PM
Take the joke from Good Will Hunting.

"So im on a plane right, and the pilot does his thing you know the "So we're cruising at 35,00 feet blah blah blah" he puts the mic on, and says "Man. All i want right now is a blowjob and a cup of coffe" little did he know the Mic was still on. So the Stewadess starts running up to the cock-pit to tell the Pilot the mic is on. As shes running up the aisle, a guy says "Hey babe, dont forget the coffee"


I probably destroyed it, but meh.

Quze 09-24-2004 12:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by quzemoto
[img]http://storage.msn.com/s1pZ8pl_R1n1zFJB4WtcNUryOhj1fDeBEouYmBaSF1dGgnPXma pHo6auSf1C6k23CLhyeJaD-IcVQvFztkErEtdMg/00.jpg?MdToken=4206852596644754[/img]
Canadian Navy (2004):

Frigates (Halifax): 12
Destroyers (Iroquois): 4
Submarines (Victoria): 4
Mine Countermeasures Ships (Kingston): 12
Replenishment Vessels (Protecteur): 2
Oceanographic Vessels (Quest): 1

United States Navy (2004):

Aircraft Carriers: 12
Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarines: 18
Surface Combatants: 96
Nuclear Attack Submarines: 53
Amphibious Warfare Ships: 37
Combat Logistics Ships: 34
Support/Mine Warfare Ships: 66
Active Reserves: 14
Strategic Sealift: 72

Canadian Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 19, 500
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 15, 500
Approximate number of civilians employed by the Army: 4, 200

United States Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 494,000
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 212,000

Canadian Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

CF-18 Hornet: 119 (60 operational/59 fighter training, testing and rotation)
CH-124 Sea King: 28

United States Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

A-10/OA-10 THUNDERBOLT II: 273/98
AC-130H/U GUNSHIP: 8/13
B-1B LANCER: 60
B-2 SPIRIT: 21 (1 test)
B-52 STRATOFORTRESS: 94
F-117A NIGHTHAWK: 55
F-15 EAGLE: 522
F-15E STRIKE EAGLE: 217
F-16C/D FIGHTING FALCON: 1088/180
GLOBAL HAWK (UAV): Classified
HH-60G PAVE HAWK: 105
MC-130E/H COMBAT TALON I/II: 24/14
MC-130P COMBAT SHADOW: 28
MH-53J/M PAVE LOW: 13/25
RQ-/MQ-1 PREDATOR (UAV): 68

These were all taken from the official military websites of each country.

NYSE Currency Power vs. the USD:

$1.00USD = $1.284CAD

Estimated GDP as of 2003:

Canadian GDP (USD): $923 billion
United States GDP (USD): $10.40 trillion

End of Discussion.
This had nothing to do with the military. Eames asked for intresting facts. Canada is to the North (top) And is biggger. And if it was prison USA would be our bitch.

Besides, Look at Iraq. They've managed to fight you guys for over a year now and all they really have are Ak's, RPG's and homemade bombs.

toodles.

Milla 09-24-2004 12:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merlin122
[img]http://www.menshealth.gr/id/files/5636/Gay%20Speedo%20Muscles.jpg[/img]

i see you love gay country already
Do you actually look for these pictures?!

ninty 09-24-2004 12:39 AM
sleeping: /judas

geRV 09-24-2004 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noctis
Quote:
Originally Posted by quzemoto
[img]http://storage.msn.com/s1pZ8pl_R1n1zFJB4WtcNUryOhj1fDeBEouYmBaSF1dGgnPXma pHo6auSf1C6k23CLhyeJaD-IcVQvFztkErEtdMg/00.jpg?MdToken=4206852596644754[/img]
Canadian Navy (2004):

Frigates (Halifax): 12
Destroyers (Iroquois): 4
Submarines (Victoria): 4
Mine Countermeasures Ships (Kingston): 12
Replenishment Vessels (Protecteur): 2
Oceanographic Vessels (Quest): 1

United States Navy (2004):

Aircraft Carriers: 12
Fleet Ballistic Missile Submarines: 18
Surface Combatants: 96
Nuclear Attack Submarines: 53
Amphibious Warfare Ships: 37
Combat Logistics Ships: 34
Support/Mine Warfare Ships: 66
Active Reserves: 14
Strategic Sealift: 72

Canadian Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 19, 500
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 15, 500
Approximate number of civilians employed by the Army: 4, 200

United States Army (2004):

Approximate strength of Army (Regular Force): 494,000
Approximate strength of Army (Reserve Force): 212,000

Canadian Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

CF-18 Hornet: 119 (60 operational/59 fighter training, testing and rotation)
CH-124 Sea King: 28

United States Air Force (2004):

Combat Aircraft:

A-10/OA-10 THUNDERBOLT II: 273/98
AC-130H/U GUNSHIP: 8/13
B-1B LANCER: 60
B-2 SPIRIT: 21 (1 test)
B-52 STRATOFORTRESS: 94
F-117A NIGHTHAWK: 55
F-15 EAGLE: 522
F-15E STRIKE EAGLE: 217
F-16C/D FIGHTING FALCON: 1088/180
GLOBAL HAWK (UAV): Classified
HH-60G PAVE HAWK: 105
MC-130E/H COMBAT TALON I/II: 24/14
MC-130P COMBAT SHADOW: 28
MH-53J/M PAVE LOW: 13/25
RQ-/MQ-1 PREDATOR (UAV): 68

These were all taken from the official military websites of each country.

NYSE Currency Power vs. the USD:

$1.00USD = $1.284CAD

Estimated GDP as of 2003:

Canadian GDP (USD): $923 billion
United States GDP (USD): $10.40 trillion

End of Discussion.


Flag waving homo's for the win. sleeping:

[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/adore.gif[/img]



oOo: oOo: oOo:



[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/ubermoron.gif[/img]


Oh and


[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/icon_stfu.gif[/img]

elitecloud 09-24-2004 01:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireal
What do you call cheese that isnt yours?


NACHO CHEESE

loool, who ever posted that before (forgot the name)GG

dat's mein!! roffle!

Zoner 09-24-2004 07:44 AM
Quit the Canada vs USA bullshit, you sacklickers. mad:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself. Smokes, now.

There's a joke for ya.

bukdez 09-24-2004 08:57 AM
ok ok.... I can end the US vs. Canada thing right now, forever...

We all know that what makes us important is how big our cocks are, right?...

So the American's cock is the Washington Monument at 555 feet, 5 1/8 inches (169.29 meters)...

Canada's cock is the CN Tower at 1,815.39 feet (553.33 metres), more than thrice the size...

So there you have our cock is huge!!!....

Zoner 09-24-2004 09:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bukdez
So there you have our cock is huge!!!....
...and quite pointy, apparently.

bukdez 09-24-2004 09:04 AM
yeah, you wouldn't want to get it in your eye...

Zoner 09-24-2004 09:07 AM
You'll poke your eye out!

[img]http://www.galenfrysinger.ws/movies/christmas_story_c.jpg[/img]

(I realize the original quote is "You'll SHOOT your eye out". Fuck off.)

TonyMontana 09-24-2004 09:39 AM
bahahah

Ferich 09-24-2004 12:51 PM
The KVLY Tower in Blanchard, North Dakota is 2064 feet.

( Edit: I forgot I don't give a shit. Canada + USA = <3 )

wintersforge 09-24-2004 01:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoner
Quit the Canada vs USA bullshit, you sacklickers. mad:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself. Smokes, now.

There's a joke for ya.
TPB!!! rock:

Scalping Chief 09-24-2004 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wintersforge
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoner
Quit the Canada vs USA bullshit, you sacklickers. mad:

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Go fuck yourself. Smokes, now.

There's a joke for ya.
TPB!!! rock:
cory, smokes now.

Apocalypse | NoW 09-24-2004 02:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoner
(I realize the original quote is "You'll SHOOT your eye out". Fuck off.)

Lmao!! happy:

Eames 09-24-2004 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ferich
The KVLY Tower in Blanchard, North Dakota is 2064 feet.

( Edit: I forgot I don't give a shit. Canada + USA = <3 )
can't use number facts, come on people i know alot of you guys sit on your computer for more than 10 hours a day you have to have picked up some facts along the way.

Short Hand 09-24-2004 05:40 PM
what a way to motivate the community for you by insulting them. look back like 30 pages for that thread i made way back with all the intresting facts on it.


or this will save your ass right here,

http://www.snopes.com

it details alot of intresting facts stories, a whole ton. urban legends that are true or false. no go impress these homo's.

http://www.snopes.com/spoons/noose/lightbul.htm

Hybrid 09-24-2004 06:31 PM
Q. Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70.

A. Cause when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.



Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose.

A. Full



Q. How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass.

A. Very satisfying.

Maplegyver 09-24-2004 06:41 PM
noctis you boon,
rofl shorthand

elstatec 09-24-2004 06:52 PM
[img]http://www.daplayazclub.com/uploads/frog.gif[/img]

Apocalypse | NoW 09-24-2004 07:12 PM
happy:


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