Just found out today that I'm getting promoted to Director of Accounting and Finance for my site. Means I'll be personally responsible for $12+ million worth of budgets, investments, etc. And I'll have two assistants under me. Werd. Finishing your degree kicks ass.

Anyway, thought of something you might not know about the accounting department. Some of this only office workers will understand:

1. The accounting department and/or supply clerk are office supply nazis in order to save on the company bottom line.

Nope. We just do it because it is funny as hell to see what people will do in order to get something they want. One of our "administrative assistants" came into our office a few months ago and wanted a certain type of pen so badly that she unbuttoned her blouse halfway, held the pen in her cleavage and said, "Can I order a dozen more of these?" She is, of course, the office slut. But hey, whatever. Bottom line, we're just fucking with you. It isn't our bonus is office supplies are over for the quarter.

2. It must've been a computer error.

The great thing about accounting software is that it is common knowledge within the industry that it fucks up and fucks up quite regularly. What is not common knowledge to anyone other than the people who use it every day is just how and when it fucks up. So next time one of your payments doesn't get applied to your account, or you get overbilled, and they say it must've been a software problem, call bullshit. It usually just means we misposted your payment.

3. If you can add, subtract, multiply and divide, you can be an accountant.

This one is just funny. If you can do all that, you can do bookkeeping, but that is a FAR cry from being an accountant. You can be an accountant if you can forecast for investments, master the tax code, memorize the general accounting practices, etc.

Pushing Carts at Target

1) God damn that job must be easy as hell, you must just sit on your ass and occasionally go and bring in a cart.
FALSE
Bringing in carts and sitting my ass is ATLEAST a 50/50 affair.

2) You must get laid, like, all the time because of you job
FALSE
I only get laid all the time because of my striking good looks and whitty personality.

3) Your job must suck in the winter! It would be sooooo cold!
FALSE
I come prepaired with long underwear and a dachshund with an upset stomach down each leg.

[quote="the Great Noctis":c3f74]
3. If you can add, subtract, multiply and divide, you can be an accountant.

This one is just funny. If you can do all that, you can do bookkeeping, but that is a FAR cry from being an accountant. You can be an accountant if you can forecast for investments, master the tax code, memorize the general accounting practices, etc.[/quote:c3f74]

That is so true, I took a couple Accounting classes this last year. Very mind twisting shit.

I wanted to add this to mine:

- The mail has to be delivered, whether it be rain, hail, snow, ect. or if I put a snake in my mailbox/have a huge dog that eats people in blue.
False If we, the drivers/carriers feel that delivering mail to a certain address is dangerous, or may endanger ourselves we are not required to deliver it. This includes increment weather. Personal and Property saftey comes first.
--Side Note-- Mail carriers are , however on Federal business, and to stop/delay them with purposeful intent is illegal!
--PS-- Don't park your car in front of mail boxes!!!!!

Wtf 800 bucks a month. So you live off 9600 dollars a year at tops?

hes like 15

my mailbox is on my house so the mailman has to get out and walk up to it. But hes a cool guy. IVe had like a 5 minute chat with him before. and ive seen him parked and chatting with enighbors for liek 30 minutes. Hes cool shit.

my mailperson is my Aunt.

Good: She looks out for my shit and gives me heads up if I have any UPS hangtags, puts stamps on my mail if I forget...etc.

Bad: How da fuck am I supposed to get teh pron? Maxim, FHM are bad enough.

why the internetz!!!!!one1!!!!evelen!!!!1onehundredeleven! !!!one1!!!!oneone!!1

I do nothing.

You know, people have given me a call and the problem was that they hadnt plugged the fucken comp in. Ive even had people without monitors and keyboards. hake:

PS. Get on MSN you prick. biggrin:[/quote]

I had one where the guy called to ask why it said no signal on his monitor oOo:
Tystnad do u have a fave link to send ppl to test if the net is workin ok?
I used to send em to http://www.whorepresents.com etc (btw click link as its not what u think lol)[/quote:62409]


Gravediggin a bit here. I just send em to google.com, since it loads fairly quick. I think the strangest one Ive had is a bitch calling in asking what day it was. Considering the fact that she spent 45 mins in the fuckin' queue, I wanna kill her.