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lmao coleman
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your manager sounds awesome. |
my buddy RE: the dude getting stabbed while jackin it
"Stab wounds? pfft whatev. I gotta blow some dick snot here." |
girl: Jim, eat out my pussy please..Im so fucking horny
me: No thanks, I'm gay. girl: fuk... |
Nycks buddy: Nyck get over here an suck my cock a lil' b4 i fuck ur big gay ass.
Nyck: can do chief! Nycks buddy: oooh yeah rock: |
Didnt hear it today, but during the game this weekend;
Four guys in my company were guarding a beachead north of our camp, and was trying to set their hopup units. After a while, theyve emptied all their clips into the ocean out of pure boredom. They then decide to pick up the radio, and this is a rough translation of the message that went out to the whole batallion: - 400 russians are being deployed on the beachhead! We kinda played up our ammo. Only four pinecones left! Requesting orders, over! Which is exactly what you wanted to hear when youre standing in a trench waiting for 600 russians to try and eat your soul, with mayo on the side. oOo: |
"270 lbs of naked dick flopping drill carrying fury"
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Happened at work lady getting a drink
Lady:Is this non-fat milk in my drink? Me:Yes it should be why? Lady:Just making sure, I'm lactosentolerant... Me:uh..... |
"Feels like I gave myself a tabasco enema."
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"Dude, this place [Bethany Beach, DE] is like the freakin Disney Channel. There are soooo many hot girls, but they're all jail bait!"
--my brother who is 22 |
i didnt hear anything but my sister farted really loud and then fanned it with her hands towards me ( i was like oOo: ed: )
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*puts hands in pants, trumps, throws dutch hand grenade at passer by* |
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