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[Praying heavenward]
Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman! --- Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet? Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] Homer: So to answer your question, I don't know. --- Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien. Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon. Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I. Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy? --- Dealer: 19. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 20. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 21. Homer: Hit me! Dealer: 22. Homer: D'oh! --- Homer: But wait. You can't kill me for being Krusty. I'm not him. I'm Homer Simpson. Fat Tony: The same Homer Simpson who crashed his car through the wall of our club? Homer: Uh... actually my name is Barney. Barney Gumble. Les: The same Barney Gumble who keeps taking pictures of my sister? Homer: Uh, actually my real name is uh, think Krusty, think, Joe Valachi. Louie: The same Joe Valachi who squealed to the Senate Committee about organized crime? Homer: Benedict Arnold! Legs: The same Benedict Arnold who plotted to surrender West Point to the hated British? Homer: D'oh! --- Mr. Burns: Smithers, why didn't you tell me about this market crash! Smithers: Um, well, sir... it happened twenty five years before I was born. Mr. Burns: Oh, that's your excuse for everything! --- Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." --- Mulder: Look at this, Scully: there has been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away. Scully: Well, gee Mulder, there's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight. Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that. --- Lisa: I like him! He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance... Homer: [walking by] My ears are burning. Lisa: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad. Homer: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-Tip. Marge: Mmm... --- Kent Brockman: ...and the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. --- Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm and alcoholic. Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting. Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem! --- Dr. Hibbert: Homer, I'm afraid you'll have to undergo a coronary bypass operation. Homer: Say it in English, Doc. Dr. Hibbert: You're going to need open-heart surgery. Homer: Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo. Dr. Hibbert: We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker. Homer: Could you dumb it down a shade? --- Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln? Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children. --- Mr. Burns: Who is that fireband, Smithers? Smithers: That's Homer Simpson. Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? New man? Smithers: He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude... Mr. Burns: Doesn't ring a bell. --- Smithers: People like dogs, Mr. Burns. Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say? Smithers: If *you* did it, sir? --- Homer: Whoa, careful now. These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types. So avoid eye contact, watch your pocketbook, and suspect everyone. Snake: Three card monte! Homer: Woo hoo! Easy money! --- Chief Wiggum: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free. --- [While operating on Homer.] Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh. --- [Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead.] Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut. Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts. Homer: Explain how. Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Homer: Woo-hoo! --- Homer: I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T! --- Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you? --- Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here? Homer's Brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge. Homer: Ummm... revenge? Homer's Brain: Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. [Sound FX: step step step step step... slam] --- Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"? Homer: No! I swear on this Bible! Marge: That's not a Bible. That's a book of carpet samples. Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy. --- Leonard Nimoy: Good evening, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, so in the end, isn't that the truth? The answer is "no." --- [In the car on the way to Florida] Lisa: Mom, Bart's sitting next to me! Bart: Mom, Lisa's growing! Marge: Quiet, you two! You know your father's just had a breakdown. Homer: My pockets hurt. |
Luch Lady dorris do you have any greace
Yes.yes we do The Greace me up women! |
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