Jack Yourself To Those Perfect Abs
 

http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/csex.htm

6 cals burned for pleasure jacking, sorry coma

awndkawjcnawchalkwdhdlkahwf.khaw.kfhawlkfhf

You jerked off to an Info-merical +5849 Exp. LEVEL UP!

be this fo real? eek: oOo:

Getting dressed in one large motion 300 calories

[quote:5a48c]A few moments before orgasm 500 calories [/quote:5a48c]

LMAO it takes about 40 minutes of a brisk jog to burn 500 calories.

Throwing up 40 caleries
(Calorie counts here are flexible, depending on type of spouse-whether understanding and open-minded, or narrow-minded and armed)

[img]http://phliteklub.org/images/ben-congrats.jpg[/img]

LASAGNA, GET A FUCKING GRIP.

[quote="wtf website":7055f]
Multiple Orgasms

For women:
2 14 calories
5 30 calories
8 47 calories
(Depending on greed her rate of recovery a woman can enjoy around 8 orgasms within an hour period without losing consciousness or disarranging her hair. As the number increases, however, she may begin to experience a form of "reduced sanity" that will temporarily interfere with her ability to cook, worship ,and ride a Moped.)
For Men:
2 21 calories
3 39 calories
4 57 calories
(For a man, its a different situation, perhaps due to physiological and biological reasons. Many men can enjoy up to 4 orgasms in an hour with little discomfort except for the slight ringing in the ears. With few exceptions, however, a man who tries to achieve more than 10 orgasms within that same period is flirting with irreversible brain damage.)[/quote:7055f]

[quote:f0044] Orgasmic Intensity Scale
Expression didn't change 1/2 calorie
Face turned purple 15 calories
Orchestra swelled 6 calories
Magical explosions 10 calories
Blazing Sheets 25 calories
Earth moved 30 calories
Vesuvius erupted 47 calories
You began moaning in Latin 60 calories[/quote:f0044]ROFL

[code:6df05]Being nice to everyone 100 calories[/code:6df05]

ROLF

[quote:6efdb]Positions
Man on top, woman on bottom (facing each other) 20 calories
Woman on top, man on bottom
(Many women find that in addition to its inherent sexual possibilities, this position affords a better view of the clock.) 25 calories
From the rear (Mysterious variation) 40 1/2 calories
Standing: Both partners of equal height 18 calories
Standing: Woman 1 foot taller than a man 90 calories
While in traction
(very useful during ski season) 124 calories
[/quote:6efdb]

[quote:6efdb]
In a phone booth, lying down 274 calories
[/quote:6efdb]


rofltmlaodefnaD

I'm ripped.