A letter from santa
 

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Alabama, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole, and shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few differences between us, such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a Mountain Dew and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying 'coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen." when Bubba Clause arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yeee Haaaw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam Safety Triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!"

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of State Patrol Cars crashing into each other.

And finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and
Elves, Union 1225



biggrin:

i need whatever your on

LMFARO!

Coke




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No you don't, you're stupid enough as it is.

Just reember guys that Santa lives in Korvatunturi, Finland.

If only I could pronounce....... whatever town you just said.

kor-va-tun-turi

SImple :)

meh, and what is it that you do again, oh ya, your 50 years old and you still play computer games with teens.

No, I'm 18. You're thinking of your Guatamalan homosexual hermaphrodite father/mother.

18, i highly dought that. First off you said you were moving. And if you are 18 and you live by yourself, well i feel sorry for you.

Exactly why do you feel sorry for me? Please elaborate, is it because I don't have have a spouse? If that's the case, what kind of idiot gets hitched that young?

innox your a freakin dumbass moron lets just leave it at that

What's wrong to be 18, and to be independent? eek:

Mista T, stfu your opinion is about as worthless as a thong worn by your idol while he was having the runs.

whats wrong?
well i find it kinda funny cause when im 18, im gonna actually have a life, and be in university, while you guys play computer games. Just because i dont give a shit what i say on the aa.com forums and act stupid doesnt mean im retarded or anything. i Guarantee that ive got a better future than any of you out there who think your gonna work for microsoft or something.

whats wrong?
well i find it kinda funny cause when im 18, im gonna actually have a life, and be in university, while you guys play computer games. Just because i dont give a shit what i say on the aa.com forums and act stupid doesnt mean im retarded or anything. i Guarantee that ive got a better future than any of you out there who think your gonna work for microsoft or something.

*runs in*

CHILDREN! BREAK IT UP OR THIS WILL GET VIOLENT!

*jumps behind barricade with Garand in hand*

Well, I'm taking some time off, you see some people don't have parents that will pay for your post secondary education, so i have to take up a job. I'm already doing good, I have my own place (no pesky managers or room mates), got my own car, got a girlfriend, got a job. I'd say I'm going pretty good for an 18 year old who has no one to lean on. It was a rough road for me but I did it. So don't give me a lecture on how to run my life shithead, you don't know what real life is you overgrown malignant tumour. We need another war so people like you get shot in the face by some raghead who wipes his ass with his hand. Fuck off.

cool down, coooool down. Innoxx you probally have more balls than most people to tough it out like that. Someone with that much will to keep goin is going to get ahead in life much further than a dumbass who thinks making fun of 'nerds' (what a loser) is going to get, Hope you have a happy holidays

Hell! How goes it?