Taking a sh*t in school.
 

Well, today really pissed me off. It was going good in history class when all of a sudden my stomach started to cramp. I thought "Oh christ, I got to shit!". So I crossed my legs hoping to give me around 5 extra mintues so I'd wait till the teacher got done with the lecture he was giving, so I wouldn't have to raise my hand and look like a fucking retard and ask "May I use the bathroom?". I waited and waited... and the rat bastard was still talking! So I thought, "Well... this is going to be all period thing". So I pinched my shit for 45 minutes..... sure you people would say thats easy.. but try holding liquid shit in for christ sake, I never felt so terrible in my life. I was gruntin' and twitchin all period! This hot chick behind me started to laugh!

WOw... it was terrible. Not to mention when the bell rang I literally 'ran' (more of a limp) to the door and went to the shitter! Then to find out these hicks were passin' chew! So I had to limp to the other bathroom... only to find out the only paper they had was pissed and spit on............

Man, I hate taking a shit in school. One of the WORST expierances in my entire fucking life. Not to mention when you do ask, the rat bastards ask where have you been for the last 10 min. You get the idea...

/rant over

Yea i know what u mean dude, I have the same experience before (Happened to me twice in all 3 yrs,) and it felt terrible

Dude I don't even take a piss in school bathrooms cause it's sooooooo nasty!

biggrin:

I hated having to go when I was at school too Zap... but when you have to
go, you HAVE TO GO. : o )

The worst was when I was in french class: the teacher just didn't care
whether you needed to go or not. After asking her politely, she refused:
I then proceeded to instruct her that I was getting up, going to the door
and finally the bathroom. She looked at me as if I was the most defiant
person she ever laid her eyes on...

When I came back, she said "you didn't take very long!", to that I replied:
"Well, I was thinking of you ...". I swear, people were almost screaming
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! Yep, I got to stay after school, but damn was it worth
it...

Hey man, i could shit anywhere. Just remember to build yourself a nice big birds nest to sit on and everything will be alright!!

Shit on the floor, one kid did that in my school lmfao, he also put a big wad of shit on a book rack

ROFL!

When I got done, my bowels felt like a clump of clay! I was 5 min late for my next class and said "my locker un-set". Of course she didn't believe me...

LOL! Bird's nest! Believe me, I do. But that won't matter when both toilets are plunged and the water that holds 5+ different peoples shit and piss in the toilet. Nasty indeed.

People are going to start calling me "shit-break", cause I'm starting to drive home and take a shit.

You know, one thing I like about the military. They respect your time to shit, even in basic!

Gha, a kid did that in our school. He COVERED THE ENTIRE BATHROOM WITH IT!!!! Plus earlier he took a shit on one of my friends floor. His living room floor for christ's sake! Plus my friend's dad stepped in it........

Uh...you can guess the rest..... eek:

Oh yea, someone caught him "choking the chicken" during school.

Yup. I hate doing that too. It's not much better in dorm bathrooms, but I suppose you kinda get used to it. Kinda.

Hey, at least in College you can walk out for a smoke or take a shit when you want!

Number one reason why I'm goin' LOL biggrin:

Hey, remember this....some of the worlds best plans and inventions were thought of while spending quality time on the porcelin throne. As a matter of fact, thats one of my top 5 things to do in life!!

I'm gonna start a thread of the top 5 things!

You guys go to wacky schools....People putting shit everywhere and what not....jeez!

.... hey! its America, you do what ya want! lol

LOL....The wacky thing is, people WANT to do that! biggrin:

if someone at my school is taking a shit & we dont like them we throw big balls of paper that are soaked into the stall. ahh its classic to hear their screams for help biggrin:

Yah, your country is full of Bullies, apparently.

my useful input in this thread:

IMNSHO whoever stocks the TP for schools, universities, etc. should be shot, hung, and re-shot.
That stuff is like sandpaper!
quite remarkable really that anyting that thin can be so coarse.


and to continue with unusual bathroom stories:

a friend told me that in their German III class they were filming skits based on a book they read (well not really a book, more of a simple longer short story)

anywho, a "kid" (not really a kid since this is HS) asked to use the phone. when the camera panned over too far to the left during the filming they caught him on tape sticking the reciever down his pants hake:

why did he do that? hake:

There was a time after lunch me and my friend were walking back to class when all of a sudden a kid in elementary was running down the hall (at the same time pulling down his pants, literally shitting all over his pants and floor, you could see the trail of shit to the bathroom!). The poor bastard I thought! I thought of that today when I almost shit my pants myself walking to the shitter. Later that day, we went back into the bathroom to see the floor literally covered with shit! The stall the kid went into shit all over the seat, floor... fucking disgusting!

... poor little bastard.

lmao ya right!

Well one time...this night..... I had a whole shitload of choclate milk and pastatio nuts.....OMFG the next day was fucking brutal..... I woke up to goto school..... and First period... I had to fucking fart like a mother fucker... but I couldnt cuz of all the ppl in my class... so I held it in... and that just made it worse..... after a couple of minutes...... it happened again... so im like ok .. Im goona shit my pants... so I was like if it does it one more time Im going home.....so guess what...... it did it agian.... so I ran to the office and signed out... and called my mom to pick me up..... so i went out side to wait for her..... and thinking "PLEASE FUCKING HURRY UP"...like fucking 15mins later she shows up.....so I ran in the car,,, and was like HURRYY UP> I GOTTA TAKE A MASSIVE SHIT.....
so she drove home as fast as she could..... and believe it or not a fucking ran to the tiolet and shit like a fucking fire hose burst open.....
man I was fucking this close |--| to shitting my pants in the car.....

phew..... happy:

Shit stories are the shit!

Man, back in college we used to take the toilet paper rolls and just throw em in the toilet so they would be all wet and unusable, so when someone had to take a shit they had to go someplace else...I didn't wanna smell it! I hate it when you can identify the shit odor with a person.....

Buckweed eats his own shit.

When we were swimming in our inground pool (like 8 years ago) my little cousin took a doody in the pool, then stuck it in the pool jets. I swear it felt like caddy shack.

ha, once after gym class we were dismissed back to the bathroom to get changed and we got back and the one stall looked like those pics posted in an earlier thread of the shit smeared everywhere! It was crazy/sick/retarted/homosexual/sick/wrong/etc.

I sit here broken hearted......

Tried to take a shit......

But only farted.

lol BucKweEd

You don't know how many times I have to shit in school, I just go to the Nurse... after awhile I have to use another excuse.

Anyone get so damn nervous for a final exam that you have explosive dirreaha, literally? I wasn't allowed to go shit because they were afraid I was going to cheat!

DOUBLE POST

DOUBLE POST

Man, one time I had to fart so bad in class, and somebody made me laugh and I let loose the kind of fart that would strip the varnish off a footlocker, the kind of fart that made the CDC declare my pants a level 5 biohazard, the kind of fart that would end a marriage, the kind of fart that makes you realise that there are no more birds in your area, the kind of fart that would gag a maggot..... anywho, it was giant fart. GC rulez!

innox, that's the best siggy yet--i like the wet t-shirt, lol

I refuse to shit in school... biggrin:

heres a school story for u

during the month before december (i have no idea what it is) my teachers went on strike for 4 weeks. u know what this means to me? being locked away in my room, pure isolation. couldnt be any better. so im enjoying it, playing mohaa till 5 in the morning, sleeping in till 5 pm. life couldnt be any better. then i find out we have school in a week. im like fucccccccck. so i wake up for school on the monday, and im really pissed but not too pissed. so my mom drives me to school cause im lazy, and shes a sucker. i get dropped off and as soon as i walk into the school doors, i start panting. seeing everyone was a shock, and i fucking hated all of them. i kept panting harder and harder.. then i went o my locker and stood there. by then i was breathing very heavely, and i knew something wasnt right. a friend came up to me and got me to sit down. i started breathing as hard as i could, it felt lik enothing was coming in. my face, hands, legs, and everything started to go numb. i remember trying to find my best friend, and he was in the main foye (sp) where everyone was. i walked to him, with tears in my eyes, my face pure white, and stumbling everywhere. everyone started making comments like crybaby... and i wanted to fucking die, and take them along with me. my best friend helped carrie me with my arm around his shoulder to a bench in a hall where he got me some water. after a bit of sitting down, the tears went away and the heavy breathing stopped. i regained feeling of my body, and i felt kinda undercontrol, but i was still pissed off. people told me go home kyle just go, but i didtn want my parents to know. so i went to my frist class art.. where no one would bother me. all i did was sit there and try not to burst out crying and throw a fit.

that sotry has nothing to do with shit, but its the shit that i take at school. kids still call me crybaby sometimes..

ha liquid shit, i had that before, but dman holding it for 45 minutes, that's crazy. wouldnt it like burst?

[quote="aNti hEro":363bb]heres a school story for u

during the month before december (i have no idea what it is) my teachers went on strike for 4 weeks. u know what this means to me? being locked away in my room, pure isolation. couldnt be any better. so im enjoying it, playing mohaa till 5 in the morning, sleeping in till 5 pm. life couldnt be any better. then i find out we have school in a week. im like fucccccccck. so i wake up for school on the monday, and im really pissed but not too pissed. so my mom drives me to school cause im lazy, and shes a sucker. i get dropped off and as soon as i walk into the school doors, i start panting. seeing everyone was a shock, and i fucking hated all of them. i kept panting harder and harder.. then i went o my locker and stood there. by then i was breathing very heavely, and i knew something wasnt right. a friend came up to me and got me to sit down. i started breathing as hard as i could, it felt lik enothing was coming in. my face, hands, legs, and everything started to go numb. i remember trying to find my best friend, and he was in the main foye (sp) where everyone was. i walked to him, with tears in my eyes, my face pure white, and stumbling everywhere. everyone started making comments like crybaby... and i wanted to fucking die, and take them along with me. my best friend helped carrie me with my arm around his shoulder to a bench in a hall where he got me some water. after a bit of sitting down, the tears went away and the heavy breathing stopped. i regained feeling of my body, and i felt kinda undercontrol, but i was still pissed off. people told me go home kyle just go, but i didtn want my parents to know. so i went to my frist class art.. where no one would bother me. all i did was sit there and try not to burst out crying and throw a fit.

that sotry has nothing to do with shit, but its the shit that i take at school. kids still call me crybaby sometimes..[/quote:363bb]

so u have lung problems? heart problems?

AntiHero....thats a fucked up story. You either have a health problem thats not funny OR you're really fucked in the head. Which is it?

Anyway, once i was hanging with my friends and i had to shit really bad so we stopped at the closest place.....a diner. Man, when i tell you i blew the place up, i mean i blew the mutha up!! The guy in the stall next to me started gagging which made me laugh and shit at the same time! I shit soooo much, i made a lil' island in the bowl.....something "ratemypoo.com" would've been proud of! Thats the closest i ever came to shitting my draws!

u gotta take shit more often, 2 pounds of shit in the intestine is not good

Alright Anti all you do is run up and punch em...simple and pure.

Some kid called me a "Nazi supporter" cause I actually understood what the SS stood for and put up an excuse for why Hitler was misunderstood. Felt bad, the kid didn't even see me coming. Was pissed and sick, so I ran up punched him in the chest pushed him down. Was ready to do more, but the teacher came in the class and gave us referalls.

it's a g-thang

<tnp|aNtihEro> i fuckign rub my sak and smell my hand
<tnp|aNtihEro> and it smells liek a cunt
<tnp|aNtihEro> like a gerbil cunt
<Innoxx> yeha, gerbils are tight
<Pyr0> anti hero fantasizes about his own mother
<Innoxx> I fantisiza about kyyyyyle's mother too
<tnp|aNtihEro> i fucking fantasize about shoving a shotgun up every little jock assholes pisshole and blwing them to shit
<tnp|aNtihEro> then i fucking jerk off watching women vomit
<PimPpApA> whoa... chill out there buddy
<PfcGreen> O_O
* tnp|aNtihEro has quit IRC (Quit)
* PimPpApA has left #alliedassault.com
<PfcGreen> that child is scary
<Innoxx> he just wants attention
<PfcGreen> Pyro your an ass.
<Pyr0> why is that

He's fucked in the noggin'.

what the fuck?