more french bashing
 

biggrin:


Q: How can you recognize a French veteran?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q: Anyone hear about the new tank that was designed by the French?
A: It has 1 gear for forward and 6 for reverse

Q: Why does the new French Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see the old French Navy

Q: How do you tell a French airplane from all others?
A: It's the one with the hair under the wings.

Q: What is a Frenchman with a sheep and a goat under each arm?
A: Bisexual.

Q-how can you tell if a Frenchmen has been in your backyard?
A-your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant!

Did you hear about the old French rifles for sale on Ebay? ... Never been
fired, dropped only once.


"France is now being hit by an extreme heat-wave, so the French government
is advising its citizens to "stay indoors and do nothing" ... You know, like
they did in WWII...."



In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO
and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated off of French soil President
Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State Dean Rusk: "Ask him about the
cemeteries Dean!" So at end of the meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his
order to remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+
soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II.

DeGaulle never answered.

FRENCH JOKES

"Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your
accordion." -- Donald Rumsfeld, U.S. Secretary of Defense. Also attribute
to retired General Schwarzkopf and Ross Perot.

Going To War Without France Is Like...

...a Texas barbecue without a croissant...
...Marine Boot Camp without your Liza Minelli records...
...the ninth inning without your placekicker...
...the Normandy invasion without Yves St. Laurent..
...firing up your computer without a virus...
...holding a bachelor party without the bride...
...crossing the Sahara without a fishing pole...
...wearing a Speedo without suspenders...
...drinking iced tea without e-coli...
...attending a movie without five screaming babies...
...World War II. 'nuff said.

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" -- Jacques Chirac,
President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." -- Rush Limbaugh, Doctor of
Democracy

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together
in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went
through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in
the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise
and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel,
Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened
and the Frenchman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped
there. The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed
Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' Claudia
Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and
actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' And the Englishman
was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel
I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.'

What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Mac's than the Nazis?

An old saying: Raise your right hand if you like the French. . . . Raise
both hands if you are French.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows. They've never tried.

Q: Why are there so many tree-lined boulevards in France?
A: Germans like to march in the shade.

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it." -- John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona


Q: What does the word "Maginot" mean in English?
A: "Welcome!"


"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam
out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of
France!" -- Jay Leno

Q: What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the
city in WWII?
A: "Table for 100,000 m'sieur?"

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris
under a German flag." -- David Letterman

Re: more french bashing
 

-- Rush Limbaugh, Doctor of
Democracy
[/quote]

ROTFLMAO!!! Doctor of democracy. bwaaaaahahahaha Yeah, he's all for democracy as long as his party is in power. lol I want to know why Rush's name is never brought up when they rag on actors for voicing their opinions. He is, after all, an actor.

dont blame me, i just copy/pasted it oOo:

That just tickeled me.

Didn't you post this like 2 weeks ago? If not you, someone else did.

Re: more french bashing
 

ROTFLMAO!!! Doctor of democracy. bwaaaaahahahaha Yeah, he's all for democracy as long as his party is in power. lol I want to know why Rush's name is never brought up when they rag on actors for voicing their opinions. He is, after all, an actor.[/quote]

Dont mess with El Rushbo!

Re: more french bashing
 

[quote="Colonel Klink":ad086]

Dont mess with El Rushbo![/quote:ad086]

In all fairness, I would have laughed just as hard if they had said Bill Mayer (sp?)

Rush isnt an actor.....Radio personalities arent actors, and certainly not talk show hosts, and certainly certainly not political talk show hosts

I posted most of that a couple of weeks ago and people jumped down my throat for teasing the poor little frenchies. Im sooooooo sorry if I offeended any poor little frenchies. NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO!
 

That's an awesome post you guys. I'm gonna show a bunch of people this so they can laugh just as hard!

funny, but overdone.

Well, not to americans.

Go to..... http://WWW.Francesucks.net

Get your T-shirt there.

..
 

They should replace the FAMAS with a gun that shoots a white flag out...

heh i like the burned armpits joke but i didnt get the one that talked about the sheep and goat under each armpit

apparently whoever he copy-pasted the jokes from is an idiot, the sheep and goat joke referred to a Taliban not a Frenchman, you know, we call them all goat-fuckers, camel-humpers, etc.

Agreed oOo:

The Glass boat bottom joke is an old pollok joke. *Dont know the spelling of Pollock.

I swear I have read everyone of those French jokes on this forum already..... Leave the French alone. Just cause they're not War-Mongers.

Yeah leave em alone. Its not there fault there country sucks more than a bancok whore. Or that it rolls over and takes it even faster than Richard Simmons, or Germ for that fact.

I dont mind that there not "war mongers" i would however have liked them more if they could defend themselves. Oh blasted the Germans simply went around our unbeatable wall. Welp were fucked.

WHO THE HELL BUILDS A WALL YOU CAN GO AROUND! It defeats the purpose of the wall if they can simply destroy the small country under you and waltz in un touched. The Germans wernt so stupid as to say "man thats a big ass wall with lots of guns and shit. CHARGE!" Fuck no, they were smart enough to know the way around it. Where as the French were fucking clueless as to defend there south.

Bah.

french sucks as a nation? what are you smoking, i'd rather live in france than this culture-less craphole. every military has their ups and downs, who cares?

i agree but some of the jokes are pretty well thought out.

Miscguy.....So the French are at fault with their military tactics? BIG FUCKING DEAL.

I fail to see why having an advanced military makes a nation any better....I mean, the U.S is the only country threatening invasion lately. I think France has little to worry about in that area. Western Europe is pretty civilised these days....

How would you like it if everyone on these forums started making countless numbers of threads with silly jokes attacking U.S's social shortcomings...? You wouldn't like it one fucking bit, right? No I bet not. I sure as hell wouldn't appreciate people making jokes about my country.

What's worse is that there aren't any full-french people here to defend themselves...So basically you're making a bunch of cheap shots...And then those of us with French Blood feel like hitting you back with insults...But we are aware that if we drop ONE American joke, we'll get flamed to hell. Sargeant-Scrotum did it, he was almsot flamed out of existence.

...And I bet, if an American joke thread got enough "STFU" outcry, (There are a lot of Americans here, obviously) the person who created the thread would have a threat of being banned.

It's fucking Bullshit, so STFU...

BTW - Just so none of you Americans lose your mind over the things I have suggested......I'm NOT Anti-American. I am simply highlighting the double-standard here on the forums.

So - what did the French ever fucking do to you? And why have you got such a long STICK up your fucking ARSE, MissesGuy?


...And dude, Simmons owns you.

And a good point you brought up.

Yeah, Trip's right...

I was watching this show on Slobodan Milosovic 1999 events etc, on Sunday Night, Jacques Chirac knew WTF was up... I quite like that guy... He handled that situation much better than the Americans from what I saw...

Most Americans think like this: What!?!?! they have bigger dicks!?! BOMB THEM!!!!

biggrin:

WHY ISN'T THIS THREAD LOCKED??? AM I TO UNDERSTAND AMERICA BASHING IS LOCKED ON SIGHT BUT ANYTHING ELSE IS FREE PLAY??? WTF IS WRONG WITH UR OPS???

A1MB07 H4X,i swa yuo on teh aanserver,yuop had aimbopt h4x bastrd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 fire1: fire1: M16: bigzooka:

the french are whiney sissies that are ungrateful, and very weak. America isnt war mongering or we would have taken over half the world. Maybe taken over france with the attack of 6 4th graders and their puppies

See, the French don't really suck, it's their government people I hate.
"Oh hey, look at that, an American just saved 20 Frenchmen. *bites cheese*. Hey, you wanna take a vacation to the Carribean this month?"
"Hey yeah!"......
Stupid French Government...For that matter, stupid ALL governments. Not one governmental person has EVER not drawn a great deal of attention and NOT liked it?

WHO KNOWS
 

well youll never have to worry about it either. you being in Auckland, New Zealand..first of all who the hell would want it and if we had what would we do with it. you dont even have to worry about anyone flaming your country. nobody knows anything about it or cares. the only thing i know about New Zealand is they have a pain in the ass guy with a computer that lives there.

ROFL! lets talk about starting an american jokes thread lol all you assholes will laugh and post away and no one will be insulted. Than we insult canada.. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE FOLKS!!! YOU CANT DO THAT! please, grow up guys.

[quote="Old Reliable":d0613]french sucks as a nation? what are you smoking, i'd rather live in france than this culture-less craphole.[/quote:d0613]


Maybe you need to associate with a better class of Americans. biggrin:

This thread should be LOCKED. My $0.02.

[quote:c8aa6]well youll never have to worry about it either. you being in Auckland, New Zealand..first of all who the hell would want it and if we had what would we do with it. you dont even have to worry about anyone flaming your country. nobody knows anything about it or cares. the only thing i know about New Zealand is they have a pain in the ass guy with a computer that lives there.[/quote:c8aa6]

I'm glad nobody wants it. Then I don't have to deal with fuckers like you, in person.

I'm glad nobody knows about it, because then I don't get flamed.

These are all very relevant points....And you didn't use Caps Lock once....Congratulations!
I'm glad we've helped you out.

"A Pain in the ass guy with a computer that lives there".....I wasn't sure about this one....

I figure you're just talking about your boyfriend....He must give you a "pain in the ass" all the time when he visits. You shouldn't be openly gay here though, you'll get flamed.

[quote="Jedi Marksman":40a1f]This thread should be LOCKED. My $0.02.[/quote:40a1f]

I second that

holy shit butch, you fucking cock sucker, I wish Green was back so he could finally bring some sense back into the way America is thought of

assholes like you just give it a bad name.

Well, Pyro you do not exactly do honor to Canadians with your sometimes asinine behavior and callous comments.

I think threads like these are a waste of time and utterly ridiculous. The only conclusions we come to here is that we have differing opinions.

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