Favourite Quotes
 

Like the titles says, post you're fav. quotes.

"I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick!" --George Carlin

"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."
--P. J. O'Rourke

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"
--Steven Wright

"who is your daddy, and what does he do" *see sig

also i like

"walk it off deek" - jim breuer

"well im a mushroom cloud layin motha fucka-motha fucka!" -sam jackson pulp fiction

put it in my butt
annonymus

Lol.
 

" I always loved going to the playground and watching the little kids run and scream.......they didn't know I was using blanks." - Mel Brooks

"Denial is a river in Egypt.
Division is a reunion in the south.
Soon enough I'll learn to...
Denial is a river in Egypt
Allusive as the communion in my mouth." - GlassJAw

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh." - Voltaire

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein

just a few biggrin:

that one by Einstein owns

"im not that nigga tryin to holla cuz i want some head
im that nigga tryin to holla cuz i want some bread"
50 cent

I think they show they quote when you die in OFP.

"hello super nintendo chalmers"

-ralph

Yep, I remember seeing that now...I forgot where I saw it and you just answered my question lol

"i choo choo choose you"
ralph
btw whats ofp

OFP is...
 

Operation Flashpoint

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

In the end, everthing you do is just everything you've done.
-Corey Taylor

"I had gay burglars last night. The broke into my house and re-arranged all thew furniture." -Robin Williams

"New York is a great city. Except I was at the library yesterday. I asked the librarian for a card, but she said I had to prove I was a citizen of the city, so I stabbed her." -Emo Phillips

"If your parents don't have children, chances are you won't either." -Emo Phillips

Actually, I think that last one of mine was a Groucho Marx quote.

"When you kill one, it is a tragedy...when you will 10,000,000, it is a statistic" - Josef Stalin

Woman: "Sir, you are drunk"
Churchill: "and you are ugly, but I'll be sober in the morning"

Another Woman: "Sir, you are rude and uncouth. If you were my husband, I'd poison your Drink"
Churchill: "and if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

"God has a Hard-on for Marines...because we kill, everything we see"
"Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister"
-Gunnery Sgt. Hartman

but my fav Hartman Banter of all...
Hartman: "What's the matter, son, do I make you nervous, Do I shake you up?"
Cowboy: "Sir..."
Hartman: "...Sir what? WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE??"

[quote="Captain Wilkins":ff007]
but my fav Hartman Banter of all...
Hartman: "What's the matter, son, do I make you nervous, Do I shake you up?"
Cowboy: "Sir..."
Hartman: "...Sir what? WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE??" [/quote:ff007]

hahaha, i just watched that movie the other day, it was great.

Hartman: "I'll gouge out your eyes and SKULL FUCK YOU!"

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
--Ernest Hemmingway

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
--Mark Twain

63% of all statistics are made up right on the spot.
--unknown

[quote="Da_Bian":2e847][quote="Captain Wilkins":2e847]
but my fav Hartman Banter of all...
Hartman: "What's the matter, son, do I make you nervous, Do I shake you up?"
Cowboy: "Sir..."
Hartman: "...Sir what? WERE YOU ABOUT TO CALL ME AN ASSHOLE??" [/quote:2e847]

hahaha, i just watched that movie the other day, it was great.

Hartman: "I'll gouge out your eyes and SKULL FUCK YOU!"[/quote:2e847]

Hell, we should just start a Full Metal Jacket Quote Thread biggrin:

that movie was the best...

Love is nothing love is worth nothing love will be nothing love will become nothing love goes to pain love goes to hurt love goes to suffering and it all ends in a broken heart.

I'm guessing you just broke up with your girl. My Condolences. hake:

U want a fucking prize for guessing right or would u like to be shot. mwah:

Hey, Hey; Calm down there, Buddy. I was just offering my condolenses. Granted, i hadn't read any of your other posts about the breakup when i posted here, but you don't need to bite my head off... ed:

He wants us to feel sorry for him. Truth is he was heavily pussy-whipped and really can't live without someone to push him around. Lol, he's only 15. It gets worse Lone.

"Spearhead is awesome!"
im not sure who said it originally but it makes me laugh every time i see it.

"religion without science is false, science without religion is boring" einstein

"fuck dat ass" fda kids

"know your body, know your drug, know your source" a drug user

"best friends for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" winnerkid13

My Favorite quote is from The Big lebowski "This isn't Nam smokey its bowling there are rules" hee hee hee still gets me.

"what the fuck is that?!!" -hiroshima citizen 1945 biggrin:

[quote="White Rabbit":a100f]"what the fuck is that?!!" -hiroshima citizen 1945 biggrin:[/quote:a100f]

rofl that one makes me laugh everytime

Some of these quotes are just ones I picked up off the net from what other people have said in chat rooms/forums. Quite a few of them are from famous people aswell.


Jesus saves but Buddha makes incremental backups!

u cant handle or possess anything with the word skill

Ashez_of_Dweams> Hush U Under-achieving under-glorified rat

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me.
Frederick Douglas

-"Sir! The Natives are revolting!!"

-"Oh I don't know, some of them are nice chaps!"

'The Red Fort'


20 Jul 1798 In a letter to Fanny "Glory is my object, and that alone"
- Horatio Nelson

Cry "havoc!" and let loose the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.
~ ~ ~ William Shakespeare "Julius Caesar"



There are no compacts between lions and men, and wolves and lambs have no concord. - Homer

We learn from history that we do not learn from history.
Georg Wilhelm F.Hegel


"Ours is not to question why,
But ours is just to do or die."
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "Charge of the Light Brigade"


due to the amount of respect i have for this topic, i'm not even going to say anything relevant to it. I'm just going to post here.


It wasn't Stalingrad, Guadalcanal, D-Day, Battle of Britain, Burma or any of those "battles". The turning point was when I entered the war. Not my country... ME . In case you haven't figured it out yet, I single handedly won WWII, I've mentioned this fantastic feat of mine a number of times, yet none of you face facts... I'm just that fucking good.

RAF=Retards and Fags


For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times." - George Bush, Tokyo, Japan, Feb. 18, 2002

Putting on the spectacles of science in expectation of finding the answer to all things signifies inner blindness.

"IL-2 Sturmovik will have you tugging your joystick like a pubescent boy in a nudist camp" - PC Zone

baby you and me aint nothin but mammals so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel

"My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic."


Nancy Astor (to Winston Churchill): If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee!
Churchill: And if I were your husband I would drink it.


My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing will begin in five minutes. (Ronald Reagan, during radio microphone test)

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."
Ellen DeGeners

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Dave Edison

"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
Woody Allen


There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. Churchill

"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)


"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

Chamberlain seemed such a nice old gentleman that I thought I would give him my autograph.
Adolf Hitler

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

AUTHOR: Gen Creighton W Abrams Jr, US Army QUOTATION: They’ve got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.

How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries.
Executed in electric chair in Oklahoma.
~~ James French, d. 1966

''Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.'' -Euripidies

Describes alot of members on this board, doesnt it hake:

[quote="White Rabbit":c3e60]"what the fuck is that?!!" -hiroshima citizen 1945 biggrin:[/quote:c3e60]

horishma citizens in 1945 probably didnt speak english..... freak:


"i hope this isnt too loud for you, cause if it is we could always turn it up" - Jimi Hendrix

"Go ahead punk - make my day" that guy...

"You think im funny? How am i funny? funny how? like a clown? im here to amuse you? im here to fucking amuse you? how the FUCK am i funny?" - Joe pesci in goodfellas. (not quoted correctly, but close enough)

"Good things come to those who wait" - Guinness

"Yippie kay yay mother fucker" - john mclain, die hard.

"Todays been a good day. ive eaten 5 times, ive slept 6 times, and tomorrow im gonna see if i cant have sex with something" cat - red dwarf.

"What the FUCK is that?!" billy connolly - talking about when elvis first hit the scenes.

"Who are you?! whats that in there? are those my feet?" father jack, from father ted.

"Come on, you sons of bitches - do you want to live forever"
(Gunnery Sergeant Dan Daly, USMC, Belleau Wood, June 1918)

"Goddam it, you'll never get the Purple Heart hiding in a foxhole! Follow me!"
(Captain Henry P. "Jim" Crowe, USMC, Guadalcanal, 13 January 1943.)

"Retreat Hell! We just got here!"
(Attributed to several World War I Marine Corps officers, Battle of Belleau Wood, France June 1918)

"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
(Colonel David M. Shoup, USMC, Tarawa, 21 November 1943.)

''Asian Prince ownz j00'' -Germ

Some quotes from me and my friends back in school:

"She's good looking, but thats about it" - Me

"This face seats five. One, two, three, four........five" - Friend Tim looking at a group of girls

Probably the funniest thing i ever said in public happened at an amusment park. I was waiting in line for a roller-coaster ride with a bunch of people when all of a sudden, here it comes with a bunch of black people on it. The black people on the coaster were clapping and singing in unison when i blurted aloud "What the fuck is this?, soul train?" The whole place busted out in laughter.

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Other quotes

"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle dixie?" - Clint Eastwood - Outlaw Josey Whales

"Leave the gun, take the cannollis" - GodFather (Clemenza)

"I'm gonna call up a couple a hard, pipe-hittin' niggers and go to work on the holmes here with a pair a pliars and a blowtorch." - Pulp Fiction (Marcellus)

"You gotta ask me nicely" Jack Nicholson - A Few Good Men

"Surely, you can't be serious"......"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley." Airplane

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

[quote="Captain Bunny":6121d]
"Who are you?! whats that in there? are those my feet?" father jack, from father ted.[/quote:6121d]

Goddam that show was good! Father Dougal was the greatest!

Didn't we do this already, or was that AA.COM quotes?

"Oh oh oh. . here we go. .. AK-47, da very best there is. . .when you absolutley postitively have to kill every motherfucker in da room. . .except no subsitutes!"

"ENGLISH MOTHER-FUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!"

"FANTA-SHOKATA!"