I AM CANADIAN!
 

I got these forward in my e-mail today...


I AM CANADIAN
(clears Thoat)
(the canadian one is actually a commercial and is all true!)

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!


I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.

I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!

Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege.

A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!

Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!


I AM CHINESE!

Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.

I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,

Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa

China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


and finally........



I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.

I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!!!

[quote:9d222]Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!! [/quote:9d222]

LOL! that was great

Umm. Okay..... I'm geussing the point of this is that America is crappy? oOo:

I didn't make it.

Wheres the French one?! lol and you forgot about 90 percent of canadas population as close as possible to the border of the US

Re: I AM CANADIAN!
 

made the necessary corrections

and your point is...

LOL. So true Chango.

shoulda put

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM A REDNECK!!!!!!!

lol! biggrin:

Re: I AM CANADIAN!
 

thats not cool man

Re: I AM CANADIAN!
 

It's so gratifying to see that stupid, ignorant, narrowminded stereotypes still survive. eek:

what the hell, do all foreigners think most of america is a bunch of rednecks? hell no, people forget that the majority of people live in northeast

its a steriotype. just like all people think that canadians live in igloo's, and eat blubber.

Who the fuck says RUFF?

[quote="Coublacka_":41f53]its a steriotype. just like all people think that canadians live in igloo's, and eat blubber.[/quote:41f53]
What? Thats not true. The only people I would think live in igloos would be the mohicans

I say roof oOo:

And those were all gay eek:

except the chinese one, thats funyn shit lol. HARRO!

Oh god lighten up! You guys crack jokes about the French all the time. It's all in good fun.

just watch any of the home improvment shows on TLC & you will understand. i laugh at it all the time.

So that manifests that all Americans say Ruff?

lol...Molson Canadian commercials rule...

Seriously you all flame the shit out the french, yet you cry like a fucking pussy when someone makes fun of America.

Because we arent pussies like the French and we stand up for our goddamn country, thats fucking why.

Once again you have proven to be a complete and utter human wasteland.

Once again? I did it before? Human wasteland, eh? Having pride in your country is being a ''human wasteland''? Go figure.

...

You sir are a smacktard. ITS AN INTERNET JOKE. You are going to grow up to be one of those parents that won't let their child watch South Park because its offensive. Meanwhile South Park is just showing the hypocricy and wrongs of the world and mocking them.

Holy shit, you must've had some anger bottled up on something. Sheesh, don't judge my outlook on life or what I'll allow my kids to watch on Television. I actually, enjoy South Park, I was just asking a question of how Canadians thought American's say Ruff a lot, I was just curious. Settle down.

No, insulting other countries non-stop, and then bitching and whining when it comes back your way is what you're doing. Pride has nothing to do with it.

Go be a Fucking cock somewhere else.

No, but calling a WHOLE country pussies is pretty racist to say the least. You have redeemed your rank as a "patriot" (notice the "").

No matter what you all think the whole thing ridicules stereotypes and doesn't neccessarily slag off America at all.

The first few parts all deny stereotypes and the last part accepts them but they're all still stereotypes.

No need to be so defensive about them.

We all have them.

Yeah, I'm a flannel wearing lumberjack who loves hockey and has the ability to turn everything into a question, eh?
biggrin:

[img]http://www.dodstudios.net/uploads/uploads/lumber.jpg[/img]
cool:

not funny at all.

...I wear gumboots, a black singlet, a floppy hat, stand around a barbecue on a farm in the middle of nowhere, with sheep walking all around me, cooking shrimp... biggrin:

It is pretty weird that if this post didn't have the "american" part at the end, that the americans would probably be laughing at this internet joke.

Pretty much 95% of those were really gay, the chinese one was funny though.

I have bad teeth, I eat scones, crumpets and I only drink tea. I speak like Dick Van Dyke and everyone else speaks like Liz Hurley or Hugh Grant.

The above clichés are often thrown at me, along with many more stereotypical comments, and only Americans say them so you should really be able to take a few stereotypical parodies of yourselves from time to time.

Awight gavnah? Lahvly jahbly, me owd china plate.

Y'all do have some really nasty fucking teeth though biggrin: