I shit my pants in 5th grade...
 

Well, it's been nearly 8 years ago now but I thought I would share with you guys about the most embarrasing moment in my entire life - literally.

It was 5th grade and I was in English class. EVERY morning it seemed that I had to take a shit in school, I don't really know why... just my bowels had a clock set to dump a load at a certain time. Anywho, my cunt of a teacher always told me and other students who asked to use the bathroom to "hold it" and "use the bathroom before school". FUCK THAT! I'm not going to FORCE shit out of me before school that's NOT EVEN THERE! I was young and didn't really have the discipline to hold my shit, and the biggest problem was... I NEVER farted so it added more of a bloating sensation and forced the shit out even more. So anyways one morning in the start of class I felt the cramps come on and the "Battle of the Buldge" persued! I fought long and hard for half an hour or longer and then the fatal desicion to surrender came. My bowels were literlaly about to explode and I didn't have to balls to ask my teacher to use the bathroom and ive asked to many times before(she was a negro teacher, scared the FUCK outta me) so I let loose and the shit came out like a water dam that just crumpled under pressure. The first turd was a BIG MOTEHR FUCKER I tell you what... I was sitting there for ten minutes with a turd sticking half outta my ass, and I had to get it out! So I pushed and it STILL didn't want to come out! So im thinking to myself... "why the fuck did I ever let loose when now the bastard wont come out?". So my face is BEAT RED and im in the front of class pushing away and then the time of relief came. My plan was to quickly go tot he bathroom and take off my tighty whitties and just continue the day on without any though about it. Little did I know I had a HUGE FUCKING shit stain on the back of my pants and it was clear as day as if someone shit their pants. So Im walking out of the bathroom cocky as can be until someone says "Zach, did you shit your pants?" then the hazing began! My nickname was "Dookie Brown" that entire year of school! Shit was that embarrasing!

Anyone else shit their pants at work/school?? lol

hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:

[quote="Da_Bian":ee941]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:ee941]

mmmmm'k eek: stupid:

[quote="Da_Bian":f6755]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:f6755]

..don't laugh man...shit happens *hugs Capt.Zap* freak:

[quote="Eight Ace":4317e][quote="Da_Bian":4317e]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:4317e]

..don't laugh man...shit happens *hugs Capt.Zap* freak:[/quote:4317e]

Don't you mean Capt Dookie? biggrin:

nice one poopy oOo:

[quote="Da_Bian":03e33]hahahahhahahahahaaahhahaha ahahahhahaahahhahahahaaahahahahahahahahahahaah aahahahahahaaahahaaahahhaaha hhuuuuhhhhh *breathe* hahahahhahahahahahahahhahhaahaaaaahahaaahha hahaahahahhahaaahahahahahahaaaa eek:[/quote:03e33]

Somehow.. before I even clicked on the thread.. I knew that Bian would have the first reply.

And wtf are you on making a post like that? oOo:

AA.com has turned into a support group for relationship woes and geriatrics.

I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:

[quote="[DAS REICH] Blitz":62de0]I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:[/quote:62de0]

he was.....special

[quote="Stinger_Dude":a417c][quote="[DAS REICH] Blitz":a417c]I feel the pain,ive shitmy pants but it was in preschool, how the fuck do you shit your pants in the 5th grade though oOo:[/quote:a417c]

he was.....special[/quote:a417c]Your one special dumbass

When ever i needed to shit or use the bathroom i just got up and walked out of the class. If the teacher bitched you simply pose this question. "Does it disrupt you tlaking if i just go, or does it do more damage if i interupt you to ask if i can crap". Have that talk once with what ever teacher and they never bug you again. "But you need a hall pass"... "to walk 50 ft? into the can and back?"

Basically take no shit from your teachers about going to take a shit. Force them to conform to you. As long as you hold the grades, no one will give you any crap.

whats the equivalent to 5th grade??

how old are u when your in it?

You are about 10 years old in 5th grade.

i just walk over to the teachers desk and let the most gigantic SBD fart out, then i quietly sit down and pass the word "the teacher farted"

like anyones cares...

and the incontinent

Continents are big.. offtopic:

You guys have no respect for your teachers, I remember I almost had to spent an hour after school in detention just for saying "Damn".
That's what happens when overzealous, religious, middle aged bitches who should have been nuns, decide to become teachers instead.

So you just did a [img]http://www.movv.com/prvupload/uploads/poopwhite.gif[/img] In your class? Holy shit, man, I would be so fuckin embarrassed, HOLY SHIT!! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (sorry I had to add the holy shitpart at the end!) biggrin:

I read this site about people craping thier pants, and I thought I would post this to spark a few laughs happy:

Hey, I'd shit in the can if the teacher let me! She was like "No, hold it!". Plus the class was "blocked" so I was in there for two hours...

When I was in my greade 12 business class, my teacher threatened to send me to the office for saying "hell" what I fucking bitch.. oh yea.. one day she was wearng this dress that cut off at the shoulders.. so when she moved her arms, you cansee her hairy arm pits and de-oderent, it was fucking sick.

Taking a shit in school sucks, espically if it takes a while and the teacher asks where you were when you walk into the class about 20 minutes after you went to the bathroom.

never shit my pants.....

it takes mad balls to admit that you shit in your pants in the 5th grade. ha ha hahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahaaa agaahahahahahahahahahaha hahahah aha ha ahaahahahahahhaah

ROTFLMFAOTIH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

GG BLADE!

I remember Mr.Ed shit his pants at work and threw his underware in garbage there.

Throwing your tighty whities in the garbage usually works... but my shit was liquid and went thru my damn underwear into my sweatpant shorts!!! They were grey and they had this HUGE fuckin shit stain on the back of it cry:

dude what is with people and shit here?

i would have tried shooting it in like a basketball and have everyone watch me...damn that would be funny

If the teacher makes you hold it, just crap all over the carpet, that way she will look like an ass for denying you the right to go to the bathroom, and her classroom will stink. I doubt she will make you clean it up, you can flat out refuse. IMO detention would be worth it, but im sure my folks would lay the beatdown on them for making me clean it up.

For more current news:
I took a shit at work today.
My dog took a shit in the backyard today.
My little girl shit her diaper about an hour ago.
Never know if my wife shits or not-she's very stealthy about it.
My dog was especially embarassed.

I would have never had the balls to tell that story.

Damn man shitting your pants in school must really suck, you shoulda just got up and went to the bathroom without permission, even if you got sent to the office for it....it woulda been worth it to not have shit your pants. I mean damn...that has to have been hard to live down...going to school with the same people for 8 years since all remembering you shit your pants in 5th grade. That had to have been the funniest story I've heard in a while.

[img]http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/shitmypants.gif[/img]

[quote="Cpt. Zapotoski":a07f8][img]http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/shitmypants.gif[/img][/quote:a07f8]

ROFL!!!!

[img]http://www.xbox-connection.com/hostedimages/zachme%20copy.gif[/img]

I don't see the funneh in that, Berquist... sleeping:

You have that "Oh shit!" look on your face in your picture, Berqe.

loving the tan lines zap