The Official Search For the Holy Grail of Quotes (Python)
 

"Old woman !..."
"I'm a man..."
"Old Man !..."
"I'm 36..."

Not to nitpick:

1. The movie is called: Monty Python and the Holy Grail. "Search" is not in the title.

2. Dennis is 37, not 36.

3. The scene is:

ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm 37.
ARTHUR: I-- what?
DENNIS: I'm 37. I'm not old.

...and so on.

NERD

You're preachin' to the choir, my man.

DAmn u zoner

i was pulling out my special Edition DVD to check that.. and as i got to post, i realize.. you already did!! !!!! !!! !! lol

oh well.. i got to watch parts of it again biggrin:

i would suggest getting the DVD if you dont have it... it has some "interesting" subtitles...

heh heh...sorry 'bout that. biggrin:

I have that DVD too...great schtuff.

What do you think is the funniest sketch from the flying circus et al?

Man, that's a tough call.

Ones that stick out in my mind are:

- The Cheese Shop
- The Book Shop
- Silly Walks
- The Argument Sketch
- The Spanish Inquisition
- Dennis Moore (where he brings the peasants the lupins...haw)

There's too many great sketches to name.

imwithstupid:

You guys know the modern stuff too like Harry Enfield &tc? Monty is universal but I'm not sure if the modern brit comedy is.

Not familiar with that particular show. We get a couple of shows over here like "Absolutely Fabulous" and "Mr. Bean", as well as the classics like "Black Adder", "Fawlty Towers", and "Red Dwarf".

Zoner, read the whole title.........the title is including the name of the movie not the actual name (i.e. searching for quotes from The Holy Grail)...sheeeeeeesh.

As for the best skits.....

Nothing tops "How Not to be Seen."

Britt modern comidies.......The Young Ones. 'nuff said youngins.

[quote="philadelphia killing mach":e33e3]Zoner, read the whole title.........the title is including the name of the movie not the actual name (i.e. searching for quotes from The Holy Grail)...sheeeeeeesh..[/quote:e33e3]

Nice cover-up. rolleyes:

Anyway, back to the quotes:


ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force!

FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!

GALAHAD: What a strange person.

ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man--

FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY.... NI!

No! Not the knights who say Ni!

THE SAME!

Who are thee ?

WE ARE THE KEEPERS OF THE SACRED WORDS... NI! PANG! AND NEEWOM!

Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!


Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa rock:

More quotes coming up!

Minstrel: [singing] Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away. When danger reared his ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about, he turned his tail, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat. A brave retreat by Sir Robin.

Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays...]
Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Dennis: Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system! Violence inherent in the system!

biggrin:

1... 2... 5!
3, Sir!
3! *throws*

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.

Black Knight: Have at you.
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look.
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound.

Woman: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me.
All: And me. And me too. And me.
Woman: Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking.
Woman: And after the spanking, the oral sex.
Galahad: Well I could stay a bit longer...

This one deserves its own post
 

[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.

Forgot this one......

"One day son, all this will be yours."
"What the curtains ?"


wish there was someway for me to truly type out the whole writing the rescue not, sending it by arrow bit at swamp castle.