The finger
 

me and this girl were having a nice night out tonight and we ended up fooling around at her house. well we are in the middle of sex and were having a great time when she decides to stick her finger in my ass. it was the farthest thing in my mind and from what i remember, my vision became somewhat distorted by shards of white light and pain as her nail scratched and poked at my ass. i yelled 'omg wtf are you doing??' and practically leapt off of her and almost jumped off the bed. she was all shocked and partially embarassed and said she thought it would be romantic and just got caught up in the moment. my dick turned into a mushroom after that and i ended up coming home and spanked it to millas pix. just thought i would share it with you guys and of course, want to know if women tried this horrible shit with you fellas. if not, i guess this is a night sam kinison would appreciate.


exit only pls
spank:

Shoulda stuck it in her ass and showed her how it feels.

rock: rock: rock:

ROFL, never happened to me before but yeah that sucks. i agree with bucknub

i didnt know what to think, that totally ruined my evening. i just wanted to go home after that. it was worse than rape; our relationship should be interesting starting tomorrow.

If she's hot, I wouldn't make too big an issue out of it.

Either way, next time you're in the bedroom, stick it in her ass. I guarantee she nevers jams her finger up there again.

This advice comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

Get a shit ready next time she tries that, presto pay-back.

biggrin:

LOL she called me back, but i didnt want to answer the phone and so she left the funniest message on my machine. half apology and half indignation at my reaction. i dont want anyone at my house to hear it so im going to erase it. before i do that though, im gonna try to get it copied and put on my pc.

omfg post that shit dance:

She's too good for you.

kinky...

Interesting eek:

...the fuck I dont wanna hear about your sexcapades.....rofl...especially if your taking it in the ass.

biggrin:

Don't be such a baby. Take it like a man then pay her back 10 fold.

happy:

Ok, here's my take on it. Some women know how to stimulate a mans prostate during intercourse which enables the guy to have an explosive orgasm. Your girl has the right idea but wrong approach. In a few years, she'll be a freak in bed but you'll be long gone by then and some other guy will be benefitting from your misfortune. Chalk it up as a learning experience. If you want her to try again, tell her to shorten that nail, use lube, and go slow!!

While Arkan doesn't like anything near his ass, having the right girl doing it at the right time is ok. As for me, i'm always fingering girls asses during sex, it drives them wild. Never had a girl complain before and the best part is you can give them a "Dirty Sanchez" when you're through with them.

Have fun mate.

spank:
I was much happier thinking of you all as nerdy virgins

listen to Arkan he speaks the truth, as you get older and more experienced you'll learn that a little "ass-play" at the right time can add some fun and excitement!...

calmdown: oOo:

Re: The finger
 

bwahahhhhaaa! dude i feel your "pain". cry: i had a one night stand last summer, and it is frighteningly similiar to your escapade. except in my story, i didnt jump off and scream wtf...i kind of liked it.

ban:


LOL, i returned the favor and we proceeded to have wild, primal sex. it was the best lay i ever had. also, she didnt have nails, so that was a plus oOo:

Re: The finger
 

Was "She" not of the human race not having nails. eek:

eek:

^Prob meant "Drew" eek: because he was the only who had said anything with words up until there.

i think you jumped the gun ... if shes into putting her finger in your ass theres no telling what else shes into....

Im gonna stick a pineapple up your ass, sideways eek:

stfu and die offtopic: imwithstupid: plzdie: ban:

happy:

[img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/eek3dance.gif[/img][img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gerald.marley/Smilies/yumyum.gif[/img]

Im gonna go out with her again later on tonight. To answer some questions, yeah shes hot and yes im going to continue to see her. Its cool that shes a bit freaky like that in bed, but that shit was surprising to me. I love a womans nice ass, but im not one to go poking and broding inside. those nails have to go, dude this woman needs to communicate, you cant just stick your finger in a dudes ass on the first time, wtf? i consider myself to be very open sexually (hetero), but i know you dont just bust out the toys and whip cream the first time.


i dont have a personal recorder, is there another way to transfer audio from tape to pc? fuck, wheres my mic? if i dont find a way to record it, i will transcribe it. im gonna have to run to radio shack or something, because i need to find a replacement tape or recorder before people start bugging me to put the tape back in the machine.

rofl, dude i know you and the mrs have the COD sexathon. wheres your Johnny 'wadd' Holmes super dildo with vibrating cunt action???

[img]http://www.uploadyourimages.com/img/476576nyck_-_johnny_wadd.jpg[/img]

Sell your jacket on ebay

plzdie: loney: spank:

ps is your sig quote referring to you? biggrin:

Madmartagen, make sure she washes her hands if she's gunna make you a
post-coital snack, otherwise you might end up eating your own arse-Vegemite.

[img]http://vegemite.wikiverse.org/media/1/10/vegemiteontoast_large.jpg[/img]

http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArtic ... EMA-DC.XML

but, it could relate to my obscure and decadent lifestyle. didnt i tell you i decorate my nutsack with lights and frankinscense for christmas?

[quote="Eight Ace":2c63a]Madmartagen, make sure she washes her hands if she's gunna make you a
post-coital snack, otherwise you might end up eating your own arse-Vegemite.

[img]http://vegemite.wikiverse.org/media/1/10/vegemiteontoast_large.jpg[/img][/quote:2c63a]

*/me licks lips*

YUMMEE

vegamite is straight fucked up.

Somebody is talking about their sex acts on a internet forum. Heh, heh..... annoy: