Worst sex ever
 

Went out with my friends tonight and got really drunk for the first time. I ended up in the backseat of this whales car. Her legs had stuble, her back had hair, and her snatch stank like it hadnt been bathed in a week. My friends wanted me to get drunk, but they made the mistake of letting me drive there. So to get back, i fuckin sobered up fast with a bucket of water, puked a few times in an alley then took my car and fuckin left those shit fucks behind. 35 minutes later on the road, they call me, but im busy at Taco Bell pouring hot sauce into my throat and gurgling it to get her taste out of my mouth. I dont know how, but i managed to eat food w/o puking all over my car. I staggered home a few minutes ago and took this shot of me waiting for one of my friends to come home, he lives across the street.

[url=http://img388.imageshack.us/my.php?image=img05581bs.jpg:05e36][img]http://img388.imageshack.us/img388/2935/img05581bs.th.jpg[/img][/url:05e36]

cheers motherfuckers

ok?

nag:

you have satisfied a fat chick. i had the fastest sex ever two nights ago....didnt even happen rock:

hahah, i dont even think i satisfied her happy:

-1 for driving under the influence.

As for the bad sex.....been there, done that. I remember coming home from this girls house and had this wicked stank coming from my crotch. Her pussy smelt like a rotting corpse and i couldn't get home fast enough to wash my dick. Why did i fuck her you ask? Well, her name started with a "Y" and i needed that letter for my lil' alphabet fuck game. (fucking my way through the alphabet A-Z)

Chalk that up to experience my friend and never get behind the wheel unless you're 100% sober and not "stumbling" through the door.

She loves you now, and she's pregnant.....that's her at the door.

Just be glad she didn't take a post-sex shit in the glovebox.

yes - 1 for DUI. I wont drive if Im sober but slightly hung over. I wait until I am feeling 100% better.
Cant say I'ev fucked a whale though, good job you fucking beastiality freak.

[quote="Unknown_Sniper":a59be]I wont drive if Im sober[/quote:a59be]

eek:

Almost been there many a times. Then jesus whispers in my ear to not do it.

*sigh, i guess like in life itself, Jesus was not here for me this time. I wasnt drunk when I drove home guys, I drank lots of water and ate some food for about a little over an hour before I left, I just wanted to stick to the story, so I didnt add that part because it was boring. They came home at some hour at night after I slept, but I expect them to bust in here laughing in a couple of hours. I cant get her smell off my fingers no matter how much I scrub, it makes me fearful of what I was touching that night.

yeast infection

spank:

if your that drunk, it takes like a whole morning to get sober, not an hour.

it goes one drink = one hour, if you know what i mean

+ 1 for driving drunk, though -1 for not killing yourself or someone else doing so.

also -47 for going near a fat chick.

Finding a X might be hard or did you get one already?

[quote="Anita_Head":2eaf4]
Finding a X might be hard or did you get one already?[/quote:2eaf4]He fucked Xena the worrior princess.

Ive always been able to make sure that im not going to fuck some fat chick...though fuck theres been times when i couldn't fucking tell for a bit.

most guys have nailed a burger hunny in their sexual exploits....

i was gang raped by a group of them senior year of highschool. went ot the eastern shore..party was broken up by cops and friends and i needed a place to crash for a few days. "big gurls" from my school put us up, fed us, got us wasted and sucked our schlongs till they bled...ah good times oOo:

lol

does your wife know about that? biggrin:

that pic belongs on myspace... and ffs don't drive drunk

fat chicks need love too

[quote="Simo Häyhä":1b3a4]fat chicks need love too[/quote:1b3a4]
lies

[quote=Poseidon] eek:[/quote:5a89d]

Way to be retarded retard. You clearly tried to make a funny but then failed and hid in a closet.

plzdie:

depends on the woman. we were both wild as youngsters sowing out oats if you will seeing what life is all about. ive recounted parts of this story to her but not in full glorious detail...

big women are great. what are you complaining about? spank:

Lol ive got that same cate pistol The Zhen Ming.

[url=http://img318.imageshack.us/my.php?image=image039ih.png:bc8bd][img]http://img318.imageshack.us/img318/5636/image039ih.th.png[/img][/url:bc8bd]


OR atleast it looks like a Cate Gun.

SOUNDED FUN!...

lmao...

Pablo dude...you totally look like fucking Jeremy Piven

[img]http://www.channelguidemag.com/piven/images/piven_2.jpg[/img]

shes gotta b able to light a match on her legs & then smoke a cig with her pussy

You probably have HIV.

[quote="Fluffy_Bunny":8bfa9]shes gotta b able to light a match on her legs & then smoke a cig with her pussy[/quote:8bfa9]

ROFL

[img]http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/2467/fat_baywatch.jpg[/img]

[quote="Scorpion -]M15F1T[-":72d60][img]http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/2467/fat_baywatch.jpg[/img][/quote:72d60]

i just threw up my smoothie

that dance vid was queer

Wrong Thread?

^^ wrong thread??????????? eek:

spank: