funny quotes you've heard
 

Me: so Janelle is leaving the company? When is her last day?
Manager: yep! august 11th
Me: ya'll gonna throw a party for her?
Manager: Yep! we gonna have cake... and chicken

..the fuck

You're way too fucking wierd.

[quote="Doctor Duffy":ff6c6]You're way too fucking wierd.[/quote:ff6c6]

awww hell nall! Baby Penis didn't just give a -1.

BAN BABY DICK!..
BAN BABY DICK!
(chop chop)
Ban BABY DICK!!

I said this one completely by accident the other day even though it sounds staged...

Background: I work in the meat/produce area of Targer and we are always eating stuff from produce in the back room area..

Friend: "you wanna grab somehting to eat"
Me: "naw man I was in the back room popping cherries all day at work"

haw haw haw haw happy:

lol, I didnt, I hardly do karma.

UPS delivers to us and I then deliver them to the different people.

Me to hot chick at work: "Hey Vicki I got a huge package right here for ya."

Hey, what's the name of that website you guys had a topic about... it was a bunch of irc conversations, was something like blast.org, maybe?

[quote="Doctor Duffy":e8941]Hey, what's the name of that website you guys had a topic about... it was a bunch of irc conversations, was something like blast.org, maybe?[/quote:e8941]these are real convo's, not e SHIT knubby

NO WAY.

We were on the topic, I had to ask.

Me: Y Elo Thar
My Cock: SAWOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ed:

Re: funny quotes you've heard
 

lol

“I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

The Scene: 1989, MacDonald's, a Saturday, around noon, busy
=======================
Girl working the cash: "Dale! Are those Macs ready yet?"

My friend Dale (loudly): "Shut up or I'll come out there and fuck you in the mouth!"
=======================

I lol'd

classic I still LOL..gotta find the peter north themed pic that was created from this.

I have a memorable Mc Dee's quote

"My friend : Hi, I'd like half dozen nuggets

Cashier : We don't have half dozen, only 6,12 and 15 piece."

Here's one from Blazzing Saddles

"Jim: Then one day I hear "Reach for it, mister." I spun around, and there I was standing face to face with a six year old kid. Well, I just laid down my guns and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I've been there ever since."

Homealone 2

"SUCK BRICK KID!"

I did some part time work at a timber yard and this strait-laced guy there
had been promoted to oversee us, one day in response to an order from
him I said "whatever you say, cunteyes."
He went to the 2IC to dob me in (rat on me) and went on about how he
should be shown respect in his new role and I had called him cunteyes.

Our boss, who was this cool, kind of vague guy didn't think it was a big deal,
he kept writing then looked up thoughtfully and said "what if he calls you MR. cunteyes?"

[quote="Eight Ace":2f1b8]I did some part time work at a timber yard and this strait-laced guy there
had been promoted to oversee us, one day in response to an order from
him I said "whatever you say, cunteyes."
He went to the 2IC to dob me in (rat on me) and went on about how he
should be shown respect in his new role and I had called him cunteyes.

Our boss, who was this cool, kind of vague guy didn't think it was a big deal,
he kept writing then looked up thoughtfully and said "what if he calls you MR. cunteyes?"[/quote:2f1b8]

LOL

One of the funniest (you had to be there) moments I had was when my manager who had read a load of "management" books, was givin me feedback ie givin me shit. I waited till he had finished the whole shoutin thing and replied with "It's a lot like our lord jesus" needless to say he avoids me still 3 years later.

The Scene: 2000 high school lunchroom sitting around a group, and in particular this one guy who swore ALL THE TIME, we're talking every 3rd-4th word. His name is Stephen.

Stephen: (telling a story about Mexicans or something, using "Goddamn" and "fuck" a lot.)

Me: Are you a Christian?

Stephen: What?

Me: Are you a Christian?

Stephen: Yeah I'm a Christian. I accept Jesus Christ as my Goddamn Savior!

At work we have slang for everything we make since its quicker and a lot of them sound pretty dirty.

Boss: "I need a kid's ball hair!!!"

...which is short for a Kid's portion Angel Hair with Meatballs

[04:55] Nyck: i masturbate to jetson porn

[05:47] Nyck : now i'm roughing up the suspect to flintstones porn

"KILL THO NIGGA" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:

[quote="Jin-Roh":b6d52]"KILL THO n****" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:[/quote:b6d52]

its 4:48 AM over there are you sitting up jackin off watching him sleep?

[quote=Nyck]its 4:48 AM over there are you sitting up jackin off watching him sleep?[/quote:6925a]

OH yes OF COURSE!!! because you know im like gay and stuff? right? yeah i like jackoff to your sexiness and then i like cum into a empty sodacan, adn then i like to pretend im drinking Tripper's enhancing jelly... its like the new redbull ya kno??!




rolleyes:


EDIT: You're my favorite, Nyck. dance:

[quote="Jin-Roh":50f7a]"KILL THO n****" - My friend in his sleep just a few minutes ago. oOo: happy:[/quote:50f7a]amos? tura?

I always laugh each time my football coach calls me "slower than whale shit."

He also likes to compare our offense to old people fucking - slow and bumpy. oOo:

http://www.groundforce1.com/forums/view ... sc&start=0

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[quote="Sicilian_Summers":66621]I always laugh each time my football coach calls me "slower than whale shit."

He also likes to compare our offense to old people fucking - slow and bumpy. oOo:[/quote:66621]haha! southern guy?

Why the fuck would that matter?

[quote="Doctor Duffy":2a35b]Why the fuck would that matter?[/quote:2a35b]sounds like the typical southern metahphor tis all calmdown:

Yeah, but that's the stereotype of a gym coach (and it's always true)... I dunno how the hell living in the south would make any difference. Whatever, ignore me.

fuck me, where??

25th down.

lol

[quote="Mr.Buttocks":80794]ahh danke

ROFL

+1

http://img330.imageshack.us/my.php?imag ... orp8mb.jpg

Nope, born and bred right here in the great state of Massachusetts. cool:

[10:40 AM] Willett: I figured that'd be the best way to get in the building and not get completely soaked in the rain.
[10:41 AM] West: getting soaked in rain owns
[10:41 AM] West: its like a bukakke from god