Never know when I'm down for a jack move.
 

so everyone here beats that dick. if you say you dont you are a lying piece of shit and will burn in hell.

anyway whats your worst case of I need to beat that dick you've had.

Mine was when I was probably 15-16 and I had a vcr tape of some playboy channel shit I recorded off our old descrambler box(had quality shit on that, anna nicole b4 all the weirdness, jenny mccarthy etc) Well I didnt have a VCR in my room and I wasnt about to play one handed cross country sking in the living room with my parents sleeping in the next room so I grabbed my tape and the car keys. We had a Big ass conversion van at the time with huge bucket seats a couch AND a little 15 inch TV and VCR. I climbed in the back turned the car to On, pulled down the shades and *fap**fap**fap**fap*

2nd worse I stayed a week at my grams when I was 15 or so. They went to bed at like 8 pm so at like 10 pm I went to the bathroom locked the door and had a wank.

and you?
go go go go

when did you learn this 'jackmove' word?

listening to nwa in like 1992

old

lol same here more than likely

What the fuck happened to your baby, you havent mentioned it in months

I've got 27inch flatscreen, we've got SHOonDemand and it has some porn, it's not too good though.

Age: 13

Location: A Chrisitan-based camp thing that was mandatory for our school to go to. Supposed to teach you how to make arrows like Indians and other gay shit (don't ask me what that has to do with Christianity)

Situation: We were all lying around in our cabin shooting the shit and talking about really un-Christian subjects and making fun of this one faggot in our cabin that kept acting like Coma. I really wanted to jack off since I hadn't done that in about 3 days (it's hard to go that long when you're 13). I waited until everybody was asleep, crept outside into the cold woods surrounding the cabin, and jacked off into a quaint but peaceful stream downhill. I should have just gone into one of the girls' cabins and started jacking it all over the girls, but I felt that was a little too assertive. Several years later I saw a story on the news of a strange man-deer hybrid found in the woods. Oh well, I'm not paying child support.



Age: 15

Location: Aunt's house

Situation: Nothing special here. Was lying in bed. Hadn't jacked off in 4-5 days. Kept thinking about my girlfriend and wished I had her there to fuck. I grabbed the phone. No cell phones at that time so I had to do it the old-fashioned way. She was glad I called her. The conversation as follows:

GF: Hello?

me: Hey baby.

GF: Hey! I was just thinking abou...

me: STFU my dick is hard bitch talk dirty to me so I can cum all over the phone just 4 u babe.

GF: Uh....ok...but first let me tell you about what happe....

me: I don't give a shit about your life. I need to shoot my jizzm right now. Tell me you want to suck my cock.

GF: *sigh* I want to suck your cock.

me: Oh yeah baby that's hawt. /jizz kthxbye have a good night.

GF: But I just want to tell you...

*click*



I also jacked off into the dorm hall showers my freshman year on a number of occasions. I was single my first semester, what can I say.

What the fuck, if I were her I'd call the fucking cops on you

This year. I havent had an orgasm since July. Went from family vacation to sisters creaky ass house to college with a roomate who's as b ig a shut in as I am, and a very light sleeper to boot. Cant jack in the shower cause 1) WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??? and 2) Its a big open community shower.

i jack off in the bank when im depositing my checks. The tellers usually give me a weird look stupid:

LMAO gentle woods and flowing stream...STRIAGHT JACKIN

[quote="Doctor Duffy":e4546]What the fuck, if I were her I'd call the fucking cops on you[/quote:e4546]

For what? "OH NOES HE USED ME FOR PHONE SEX!!!!"

GTFO cockblaster oOo:

lol, no, you just sound like the kinda guy who rapes 11 year olds just from that conversation

Yeah, because the conversation actually went down like that. oOo: I also jack off with IcyHot applied to my dong.

AIN'T NO TELLIN WHEN IM DOWN FOR A JACK MOVE

(It actually means to car-jack - but thats not as funny when you hear Ice Cube screaming it in Straight Outta Compton)

http://www.aintnotellin.ytmnd.com

what in the fuck?

did he piss or cum on her?

buested a nut on her

Probably most daring is jacking it at a couple sleepovers.

And I jacked it on a overseas flight to Thailand, I woke up all of a sudden and the entire plane was asleep so I just put a pillow over my jeans and rubbed it a little.

On an unrelated note I got suspended from middle school for starting a chant in one of my classes. The aforementioned chant:


"Beat your meat! Beat your meat! Beat your meat!"

oOo: eek:

Fuck I was a gay kid back then. Everybody thought it was funny too; I guess everybody was retarded back then during those years.

[quote="Doctor Duffy":0aceb]Probably most daring is jacking it at a couple sleepovers.

And I jacked it on a overseas flight to Thailand, I woke up all of a sudden and the entire plane was asleep so I just put a pillow over my jeans and rubbed it a little.[/quote:0aceb]

Sicko fucko. Use the toilets. annoy:

[quote="Doctor Duffy":f8a0e]Probably most daring is jacking it at a couple sleepovers.

And I jacked it on a overseas flight to Thailand, I woke up all of a sudden and the entire plane was asleep so I just put a pillow over my jeans and rubbed it a little.[/quote:f8a0e]
............

WHAT THE FUCK??

Doesnt beat any of the stupid fucking stories you've posted on here.

is that real? or is that from a movie of some sort

[quote="Doctor Duffy":f02d8]Doesnt beat any of the stupid fucking stories you've posted on here.[/quote:f02d8]this is a thread where i don't want to "top anyone" oOo:

[quote="Doctor Duffy":3b4d4]Doesnt beat any of the stupid fucking stories you've posted on here.[/quote:3b4d4]
Public Masturbation? if you dont realize how wrong that is, you got serious problems.

Feels good dewd

[quote=Coleman]this is a thread where i don't want to "top anyone" oOo:[/quote:fe990]

LOL yeah. "HEY DOODS GUESS WHAT I JACKED OFF IN A CHURCH ONCE LOLOLOLOL"

oOo:

i mourn for that pillow

[img]http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/laundryday.png[/img]

lmao...

...i don't really put the reasons for jacking into my long term memory.

I did a short play based on some Cyanide and Happiness. It was actually pretty awesome

gayest thread in the history of the world.

lol.

Fuck thats a gay thing to do. Right up your alley.

Stats say only 3% of the male population doesn't masturbate.

and those 3% are just lying or have no arms

Every time you masturbate an angel loses it's wings.

[quote="Doctor Duffy":1fbc8]Every time you masturbate an angel loses it's wings.[/quote:1fbc8]

every time you post an angel stabs jesus in the fucking heart