pessimism
 

being serious on gf1, it's a shot in the dark but we'll see.
i've always been a pessimist, i look for the worst in things, i always expect the worst, etc. etc. but lately it's been out of hand. i don't know if it's just me or if there's alot of people that feel this way but i find myself imagining these outlandish scenarios that hurt me in some way. alot of these situations or stories i create are beyond reasoning in their foundation, they're too crazy to ever come true, yet i still get worked up over it? it would be like imagining that on your birthday you're girlfriend will get really drunk and sleep with your brother, when you birthday is 3 months away. it won't matter what state i'm in, happy, sad, etc. it still happens.

[img]http://cdunlop.myweb.uga.edu/index_files/image002.jpg[/img]
I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS!

Ok, let me give it a crack.

It's normal to have those thoughts every now and again but not to the frequency you have. I'm going to recommend professional counseling. Yeah, most here will laugh at that recommendation but i bet they never talked to a "neutral" party professional. Sometimes just talking about something to someone you don't know helps. Give it a shot.

we'll that's not good haha. it does help to talk to my friends about it. it's weird, it's not as if it's really upsetting me and causing me to become depressed; it's just an annoyance and gets in the way of things.

Perhaps you need to alter your lifestyle slightly. Sometimes doing something new alltogether is all you need to change the way you think.

Its all to do with anxiety which as you know ive been dealing with for ages now. Its hard to ignore and the more you focus on it the more liable you are to probably have a panic attack over it. I always seem to have some kind of negative thought when im out which just keeps playing on my mind over and over. Theyre always really outlandish things that have no real chance of happenning but once the thought is there it just plays on your mind for ages.

Ive alwyas been told its best to occupy your mind with other things if you have one of these thoughts, or sometimes if you are going somewhere just focus on something that you'd like or want. Theres some really odd ways of controlling it like trying to recite a song backwards in your head, you focus on things like that and you become really set on trying to do the whole thing that no other thoughts crep in there. usually when im out i'll be listening to some form of music anway which helps me relax and not hink of anything negative.

Doesn't always work though, the other day i was in town and started to have those kidna thoughts in virgin megastores and had to sit down on the stairwell for a while to get my breathing under control. The worst thing you can do is run away from it, if you do it gets set i your mind that it cna happen again and again in the same scenario. Hard to do at the time but if you ever have a panic attack and you get your breathing under control again you're best to go on what you were doing and not let it make you go home or whatever.

get off the reefer. im meaning that in the most serious of ways. it may not be the root cause but i garuntee you its making things worse for you. try building some self esteem. again , meaning that very seriously. take up some kind of something that ll make you feel better about yourself. some kind of exercise where you really have to exert yourself to accomplish some goals youve set. plus, looking good = feeling good. running did the trick for me. as soon as i stop running for any amount of time i start feeling shitty. when im running i have 0 worries. 0. i feel awseome, and i feel like i look awesome.




:mind over matter. talk to yourself (mentally). this shit works wonders too. talk yourself up. reason through situations that you might just other wise worry yourself to death about. it works. build yourself up mentally by talking to yourself mentally.

I know exactly how you're feeling, Kyle....When I started going out with my girlfriend I used to just sit and wonder which one of my friends would be most likely to sleep with my girl behind my back. I felt real bad about it...I even used to get angry at one of my mates who dated her for like a week 3 years before I did...Just stupid thoughts like that.

I chalked it down to being a combination of a) being in a new situation with someone I care deeply about, b) random stress c) really liking the girl and not wanting to get hurt... and also just being that age when you grow into another level of social awareness and identity and trying to figure alot of stuff about yourself out.
Too much free time was also a factor. If you're doing nothing for too long, you start thinking to much, and the train of thought can sometimes take you to weird and nasty destinations. I reckon' the trick is to be the mutha fukin conductor and take that train to more positive and creative places. Keep yourself occupied etc. It can be hard as fuck to stop thinking shit like that, so yeah...Might take some time to figure it all out. I wouldnt fret about it though, that could make it worse.

Every now and then I still sometimes feel like I'm being quite negative about some stuff...but its not as common as it was about a year ago, and I believe its at least partly because I've figured out ways to avoid overthinking things.

Have you tried adding humor to your unwanted thoughts? Obviously you know they're outlandish and too crazy to come true, so why even care? Try exercising too.


Yeah no doubt. You don't necessarily have to quit but smoking multiple times a day can make you feel anxious, paranoid, unmotivated and timid. I don't think Kyle smokes as much as he used to anyways. Lots of coffee, cigarettes, and alcohol isn't good for your mental health either.

i think all the terrible things that happen in this world weigh on us more than we are willing to admit...

between school shootings, bridge collapses, wars, floods, and all the crazy murder/rape/death stories that are in the news lead us to, often subconciously, expect the worst at anytime...

a good friend of mine got a bottle smashed over the back of his head the other day for no reason, i never expected something like that to happen at the place we were at, but now when i go there i keep feeling like i have to watch my back, knowing full well the event was random...

i guess its true that bad can happen at anytime, but i think its best to not forget that good can too, maybe you change your morbid dwelling thoughts into happy ones, so if you are thinking about something that upsets you, imagine doing something awesome, or something awesome happening to you, like winning the lottery or something...

i really don't think there are more "bad" things that happen. I just think they may have more of a lasting impact on us because we've become accustomed to hearing all about good news and such. I don't mean CBS Evening news. I'm talking about our every day lives. There are so many things in my life that I'm thankful for and I try not to take that for granted.

There's this kid I used to drive to school with every day my 10th grade year and he was the most pessemistic person I ever met or heard of in my life. He NEVER had anything good to say. If you don't trust me, here...read his xanga page. Go to a few entries back for a better idea of what the heck goes on in his head. You would think this kid would commit suicide, but in reality, he never would because he's a big pussy that probably couldn't get through half the plan without throwing up or taking a visit to the doctor's office. http://www.xanga.com/chicosayswooo

Not much else to say that's already been said but...

-Excise like Judas said, really helps. When I started running, working out on a routine I found myself feeling better and my mind didn't feel like it was getting hung up on bullshit.

-You can't excise all the time, because you may be in class or whatever. So next best thing is to draw or doodle or if your at work or in school hit the book and the work hard. While I personally hate doing busy-work in school its a great way just to focus all that pointless anxiety into something.

-If you ever have physical symptoms of anxiety like a fast heart beat or stomach ache, you can always try those breathing exercises.

-Talking to friends, family, etc can be for some people extremely helpful too.

-Also eating well too helps, cutting down on things that are high in sugar, caffeine and the weed helps.

Jesus, this is the most words per post thread in the history of this site probably.. ed:

good luck anti calmdown:

i used to be the exact same way...you must of had a bad experience with something...i was cheated on and it was the worst experience of my life, for awhile i didnt trust anyone and i thought the worst was always going to happen. like everyone else said, your probably overthinking things, that was/still is my problem.

honestly i dont think it has all that much to do with whats going on in your life and more to do with the way youre living it. diet, exercise, and sleep. ive read it time and time again and it never sunk in. i think most people just give up on it because it doesnt work right way. i swear to christ if you stick with it youll feel 120% better about everything going on with you. the more you exercise the easier it is to fall asleep, and get better sleep. the better you eat the more you can exercise. cut the bad shit out of your life and youll start feeling better.

alot of good recommendations and awesome advice. this whole thing has been going on for a couple of years now, and i'm getting sick of it. i've been trying to keep myself busy, playing alot of counterstrike source and mohaa, along with doing photoshop/photography work. i haven't been smoking pot for a long time, but i have been drinking heavily. i really want to get into excercising but i'm just too lazy. i'll just keep at things, i think it's all rooted in my problems with my exgirlfriend and what's been lost between us and in my life.


i try, but i fail. that's the thing though, as outlandish as some of them may be it seems somewhat sensible in your head at the time.

i was and still am exactly the same with my ex. it doesn't make things easier when alot of my friends do try to pick her up when they know how i feel about her; but at times i'm unsure if i'm just tricking myself into thinking they are or if infact they actually are trying. either way, i think love will always have the deepest impact on one's self, which only makes it the easiest target for this kind of behaviour.

i've been thinking about that. i've been wanting to set alot of routines for myself and do alot more for me rather than just being lazy. i want to get into reading, working out, talking more with friends and family, just being better to myself in general. i just turned 20 so i think it's about fucking time i get on track and stop jacking off to porn all day. a trip would also be nice, tokyo mmm... happy:


group hug everyone happy:

you cant really write off any emotional responses as being due solely to things like diet and exercise...We dont know whats going on in antis life, or anything about his diet and sleeping patterns (well i do because i watch him sleeping) so it could be anything...
But yeah I'd say diet, sleep and exercise can definitely amplify things that might not be as bad under different circumstances....

i didnt really mean to generalize. i was just suggesting that better life choices would lead to a greater ability to cope, no matter what the problem.

i can see that. even if you don't recieve much physical benefit from it, the fact that you know you're making the right decisions and doing better for yourself is going to have some sort of positive affect.

Well I have a lot of the problems you have, that really affect my social life. Every social encounter I go into, I automatically assume the worst, that this person is not going to like me, or these people arent going to like me. So then I either: a) avoid these people altogether, so they dont like me, or b) try too hard to get them to like me, which generally leads to people not liking me.

I dont know how to 'be myself' around people because I have no faith in who I am, and it is a very small group of close friends who know the 'real' me.

So here, as a result, I have no close friends. Nobody I feel comfortable as me. SO now I'm pretty socially isolated, and have lost the motivation to just DO stuff.

My relationship with my parents is falling down, I talk to my mom on the phone and just wait for the conversation to end. I stopped working out and eating well. Im scared to death of gaining back my weight. Im losing my true self.

anti, did you ever try the thing at the atm on campus?

Hey, just so you know, this thread doesnt really involve you.

This is something totally different - You can't compare your lack of social skills to anti's feelings of general negativity. Ridiculous. You fat fatty.

lol

i was busted, had to spend a night in jail.

lol i normally just laugh out loud and i try voluntarily to think of something worst or funnier


I dont think coma s opinion is completly different from anti s. He is being negative by "assuming the worst" before meeting a person which lead him into being a pussy and hidding in a closet.

personally, i find pessimism can help if its fairly controlled. I allow myself to be pessimistic in my own inner monollogue. When i concieve the worst of a situation and the worst doesn't happen (98% of the time) i think i've come out ahead. This lets me realize that nothing is totally negligible and lets me have a better day.

annoy:

[quote="Doctor Duffy":90494]Hey, just so you know, this thread doesnt really involve you.[/quote:90494]
well I knew I wouldnt be able to start my own serious thread about this, so I thought Id try to catch a ride on this one.

i feel you anti for sure.... whenever im sober its not so bad, but when i smoke my paranoia gets outta control. its insane

i would recommend working out, swimming wise or hitting the gym as a positive action likes others said. I joined up in the early summer and go at least 3 times a week, it definitely took alot of the everyday stress of work plus other shit off my mind and I stopped biting my parents, friends, collegues and girlfriend's heads off because I just felt like I was doing something good.


which applies to you comatsoe on gf1.

u r a genious STAT

ps I missed your old avatar, nice to see it back beer:

YOU SERIOUS?

no, he's not going to commiserate with you on jail time gt, so give it up.

When did you fucking smoke

[quote="Doctor Duffy":c327b]When did you fucking smoke[/quote:c327b]
when did YOU smoke, you want to look cool about interrogating people about their own smoking.

I've never smoked you moron

[quote="Doctor Duffy":c3193]When did you fucking smoke[/quote:c3193]
not cigarettes, weed...

pcp.

yeah that too