This place sucks
 

I hate you all

Re: Im doomed.
 

hake: spank:

Re: Im doomed.
 

damn it. forgot my /sarcasm tags again. That was me playing off this sort of persona Ive developed here. Seriously, sci-fi plays each episode like 6 times a week, Im good there.

slip her a roofy then put it in her butt

Arent you in college?...and you have never engaged in any sort of thing with a girl?

True

I have. I just suck in non "WHOA!! LOUD DANCE CLUB LETS NOT BOTHER TALKING! LETS JUST DANCE!! HEY, YOUR KINDA CUTE!!" actually having a conversation where I have to engage a girls attention for more than a few seconds.

^ A sound Plan C.

Plan A: Party Hopping
Pros - Relaxed atmosphere with less pressure than a one-on-one evening.
Cons - She could get shitfaced, puke on your shoes and leave with another dude

Plan B: Stay in & Watch a Movie
Pros - It's always nice to chill, watch a flick and cuddle on the couch.
Cons - It's a bit more pressure, since it's just the two of you.

If you just be cool about it and not jam your hands down her pants uninvited, you should be ok.

Tips for either plan:

1. Shower thoroughly. Wash that taint. Put powder on the cojones. Don't overdo it on the cologne.

2. Avoid garlic and onions beforehand and during the date.

3. If you're staying in to watch a movie, make snacks to share, light a few smelly candles.

4. Just be cool about it all. She's just a person.

Good luck. beer:

Was that.... Sound advice on gf1? Zoner, I love you. +1s for lief beer:

Re: Im doomed.
 

I think that line says it all.





why dont you just try to have a good time, forget about getting laid, we all know that wont happen

Hey, anything to get a brother laid (or at least a stinky finger).

So, checklist (you may want to print this out...):

__ Clean taint

__ Powdered ballsack

__ Little cologne

__ No garlic/onions

__ Snacks & smelly candles


Oh, and for the love of Christ pay for everything even if she insists you don't. Say (jokingly) that she can get the bill next time. That indirectly shows that you dig her and would like to see her again.

You can even buy her a flower or two. I know it's old fashioned and cliched, but I'll be fucked if it doesn't work.

Also flog the dolphin

If you worry about it all day and have no confidence in yourself you'll end up having a crappy time and most likely embarrass yourself in the process. Look, obviously this girl likes something about you or she wouldn't go out on a date...so at least have some mild confidence in yourself and a loose plan of what you're doing or you'll end up looking like a git. Remember, your internet friends can't help you with everything on your date.

this is the kind of thread that is passed around the internet or e-mailed as jokes entitled, "Look at this little internet faggot!"

Suprised simo hasn't posted in this yet with the standard responses. eek:

Confidence is KEY coma, realise this and you will be golden.

That was ghey

nothing tells a girl "hey I want to do you" more than a boner jabbing her in the small of the back while you cuddle.
IF its an actual date, stay in. If its just s hey lets hang out and get smashed, go party hopping.

headbutt her tits

Yeah man, excellent advice.

Hey, just wondering......................................... .........

What'd you do to hook up w/ her

[img]http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d174/geraldo25/loled.jpg[/img]

standard simo response: kill yourself

standard gerv5500 response: die simo


beer: love you bro

[quote="Doctor Duffy":8bfb7]Hey, just wondering......................................... .........

What'd you do to hook up w/ her[/quote:8bfb7]
we met at a party last weekend. Then she calls me out of the blue to ask me if I wanted to do something tonight.

[quote="Simo Häyhä":f1cc5]standard simo response: kill yourself

standard gerv5500 response: die simo


beer: love you bro[/quote:f1cc5]
So hardgay is just a japanese comedian a la Borat or Yucko the Clown? All my illusions about life are spiralling down the toilet.

Is Duffy asking advice how to get girls from Coma? Coma > Duffy

rofl.
I'm more inclined to hate coma less since duffy is such a fuckup. good luck on your date fatass

Fuck no. I wanted to see if he had reasonable evidence, because like all things, he bullshits.

just be yourself...

i never thought i'd see the day where gf1 gives good advice to coma.

basically everything zone said, he's the man. and yea, just be yourself and have some confidence. girls hate it when guys always put themselves down.

winner.

Like any man here worth his salt my best advise would be to do her in the butt...

It is all about confidence, sound interested in what she has to do but don't kiss her arse, if there's other ladies there pay them a little attention too so she doesn't get on an ego trip. Remember you're in charge here & this bish is the one who wants to shag you!

Eat her.

Bro, SHE called YOU. That instantly puts the ball in your court. Just act like you're the fucking man with a 10 lb cack. Do you have any clues as to what her interests are? That's key to developing a good date if it's in an intimate environment. During dinner, don't stare at her too much, and don't look down at your food too much. Just kinda act like you're just having a meal with a friend. The best GF I ever had I truly thought of her as one of my closest friends, and as such it was so natural to hang with her (unless she was going to go do some fag stuff like shopping or getting a manacure). When she's telling you a story smile and chuckle at the right times, even if it's the gayest shit you've ever heard. Girls like a good smile. That is fact.

First dates are always a bitch...ALWAYS. Just remember she's probably shitting her pants as much as you are. She's worrying about it being awkward in any way. Try to do the little things that you would around your friends (unless those "things" include telling cock jokes and other manly things). By doing just the little nuances, and acting in a completely natural state, it's going to put her at ease which in turn will put you at ease as well. It will open up for more interesting conversation, other than the scripted "so what are you majoring in?" type of questions. Just make sure to smile enough. Smiling naturally makes people feel like they know a person well. It makes a person seem very outgoing, amiable, and easy to get along with. She's trying to scope out what kind of person you are, and smiling will show her you're enthusiastic.


K I don't have much else to say. I've given you advice on this shit in the past, just take it for what it's worth. I've had a variety of GFs and I've dated very shy girls and very wild girls, and some in-between.

[quote="Fluffy_Bunny":3df2a]Like any man here worth his salt my best advise would be to do her in the butt...[/quote:3df2a]
QFT

Good going Coma.

i'm not the right person to give ya advice...listen to Zoner's...it sounds good to me.

Just don't be an idiot.

Well, I'm suprised theres a chick out there who wants to jump your bones...

Don't fuck it up coma, lol. This may be your one chance.

Don't dress like a slob, but don't overdress.

Run through in your head how you'll play it in both best and worst case scenario. Imagine yourself actually doing it. Its a good quick mental trick that I use to make myself comfortable about a situation I'm going into, if I feel uneasy about it....Like the crucial first date for instance.

Rent swingers, and watch it the day before your date.

And lastly: stand up straight and act like you mean it, ya big-ass bitch.

masturbate before the date, you wont be so terrified of the date after that.

lol

use store retail brochures advertising womens underwear

Lmao, yeah, also cuts chance of poppin' a boner by 50%