Best, Essay Assignment, Ever
 

So in my creative writing class we have to write an essay. Except this is the greatest fucking essay ever concieved by man. The topic is "If Zombies attacked campus, how would you survive?" We are supposed to write a how to paper and this is one of the options.

Heres where I need you guys' help. How would you survive a zomibe attack if you were in my situation. I live on the 5th floor of a high rise dorm. There is a rather large caffateria down stairs, and a ton of rooms to hide in and so forth. Just off campus is a Wal Mart, and various other strip malls.

My best bet would probably be to get off campus in the largest vehicle possible, and take shelter on the wal mart roof, or security office.

What would you guys do? Remember it has to stay in the bounds of normal reality + usual zombie classes.

do your homework. watch 28 days later and dawn of the dead

that is still only 2 classes of zombies. What about the slow moving, level 4, and level 5 zombies?

shouldn't it be easier then to survive against the slow moving ones?

the scenario is a mix of ALL types of zombies. most of them will be the lower levels though.

ask Leon Kennedy

Hey, i know you're in a school and all, and this is an "assignment" but.........in this "politically correct" :rolleyes: world in which we live, can you even mention firearms?

I couldn't do a "Zombie" survival essay without mentioning arms (knives/firearms/small explosives.....etc)

he can mention legs though

omglololawlwalawlawlololawlroflscakes

going to walmart or similar stores is a bad idea because that's where everyone else is going.

i see one of two options. you either bug in. you would need supplies and the ability to fortify your position. which might be hard on the 5th floor, or you get out of town to a predetermined bug out location stocked with supplies.

just consult these guys. they'll help you.

http://zombiehunters.org/forum/

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalguide/

Buy this, you will not be disappointed.

yeah, the professor said it was okay if we use guns in our paper. In fact she encouraged it.

Its a she? wow... please tell me shes hot.
Does your building have an elevator or just stairs? I would block off the stairs near the bottom floor with as much useless shit from the dorm rooms as possible, and fuck up the elevator. Then I would rig a trash chute with some rope for a quick escape. You would have to find food which is were the difficult part comes in. Do you risk running to the cafe for food, or do you try and tough it out with what people have in their rooms?
You must also consider those that are weak minded/hearted. Would they be able to kill a zombie if they had to? Would they freak out and break down your barriers to try and escape? These people must be dealt with before they can cause any major damage/ your death. Remember that in a survival situation you come first, and everyone else comes second.

Once you find that large vehicle, gtfo of town. End of story.

I got the book today. I was surprised the campus bookstore had it. And no my professor isnt hot, but she isn't unpleasant to look at either.

Cool essay, apparently to kill a zombie you have to decapitate it. I suggest getting all the hottest girls on campus & doing them in da azz before the zombies get them. Then go & get some body armour from the football team so the zombies can't get to you that easily. Then get a hockeystick perhaps to hit them in the head with. Naturally one would have to rally the troops/students & create a strongpoint with the college flag & old glory flying over the barricades.

Or you could just phone your local National Guard unit? When I was a student I was in the Navy Reserve so I'd just go get my boarding team & a few SA80s :)

NO! Decapitating a zombie will NOT kill it! The head will keep snapping at you. The only way to kill the zombie is to destroy the brain.

you have to hold R1 then press Up to aim at the head, and then with a magnum or shotgun shoot to blow it up

dead rising is good practice. except with the chainsaw breaking after killing like 20 zombies.

typically the chainsaw is a terrible weapon to use against the zombie hordes. It is heavy, loud, and uses fuel. A better alternative would be a hatchet or katana sword. They can cut through a zombie skull in 1 blow, are light weight, and wont alert other zombies nearby of your presence.

the pickaxe is pretty good too

Any kind of close combat weapon would be a bad idea. Especially should the zombie blood be contagious! You dont want blood splattering around everywhere, and getting on your face, and body. Explosives, and firearms are the better, so you have at least some distance from them.

Though you should use a long range weapon as much as possible, you still need something for close range. Like stated a silent instant kill is preferred when you are in close quarters with zombies.

Splattering isnt a huge issue unless it is a new zombie. their blood congeals in their feins and becomes hard after a period of time. The only "gooey" part is their brain where the virus is still working. With that being said a suid of shark armor or a neoprene suit would work great as armor.

neoprenes wouldn't work. it can be cut and torn unless you get a thicker suit which would actually be time consuming to put on and would hinder movement.
A shark suit would be heavy but would do the job at preventing injuries that are not blunt force
something along the lines of the neptunic http://theringlord.com/images/commercial/neptunic2.gif. I personally would not wear a shark suit as they are heavy and will slow you down. Also I would not want to be wearing one in hot temps with a heavy sun.
Your best bet for clothing is to wear thick close fitting clothing. Boots or running or hiking shoes preferably water proof/ steel toe. Some wool socks would be wise to fight off cold toes and help insulate your feet in water or cold temps. A hat for cold days(remember ~80% of your body heat is lost through your noggin) or to keep the sun from over heating your brain. I would also invest in some gloves as you need your hands to be functioning so having them cramp up due to cold is a bad idea. A back pack to carry essentials such as water and food, maps, compass, flashlight, lighter and matches, mess kit if you want one, medical supplies for non zombie injuries, communication devices, pens and pencils, and a blanket or towel and a multi-tool. You should now be able to survive longer.

I pretty much have everything you listed except the sexy shark suit thingy. My best bet would be to grab my paddling clothes as they are tight fitting and warm, buzz my hair, then grab my camping backpack (which I keep packed with everything minus food and water) and hijack the largest fucking truck to wal - mart. Once there I will get a shotgun/ammo, and whatever non perishable foods I would need to make it to my safe haven. My safe haven will be a state prison about an hour away. It is in a rural area, and very secured. Chances are it will be deserted if there was a class 3 outbreak. Once inside I will repair any of the fences, set up baricades on any doors that have been broken, and secure my safe room. I will find or build some sort of radio so I can get in contact with any military personel in the state. The prison has enough food and clean water to keep myself and a few others going for about 3 months. After that I will either have to begin hunting, or look for a new hideout with fresh supplies.

I never would have thought of a prison. I guess if it can keep people in it can keep undead retarded zombies out.