A letter from santa
 

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Alabama, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas and Arkansas on Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole, and shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls. However, there are a few differences between us, such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave a Mountain Dew and pork rinds (or a moon pie) on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying 'coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen." when Bubba Clause arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yeee Haaaw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam Safety Triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!"

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of State Patrol Cars crashing into each other.

And finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,
Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and
Elves, Union 1225



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i need whatever your on

LMFARO!

Coke




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No you don't, you're stupid enough as it is.

Just reember guys that Santa lives in Korvatunturi, Finland.

If only I could pronounce....... whatever town you just said.

kor-va-tun-turi

SImple :)

meh, and what is it that you do again, oh ya, your 50 years old and you still play computer games with teens.

No, I'm 18. You're thinking of your Guatamalan homosexual hermaphrodite father/mother.

18, i highly dought that. First off you said you were moving. And if you are 18 and you live by yourself, well i feel sorry for you.

Exactly why do you feel sorry for me? Please elaborate, is it because I don't have have a spouse? If that's the case, what kind of idiot gets hitched that young?

innox your a freakin dumbass moron lets just leave it at that

What's wrong to be 18, and to be independent? eek:

Mista T, stfu your opinion is about as worthless as a thong worn by your idol while he was having the runs.