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Sergeant_Scrotum 06-05-2004 05:22 PM

The Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper
 
The Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, Classic Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The Canadian Post-Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a news conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavit with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of inquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.

Pyro 06-05-2004 05:29 PM

That is so true...

Toronto Star = worst paper ever

MPPS are gay.

Johnj 06-05-2004 06:03 PM

The Canadian Dream?

SoLiDUS 06-05-2004 06:26 PM

Is there such a thing ? Oh yes, keeps the peons in line... happy:

Infection_Smith@ 06-05-2004 07:39 PM

Where does the bee fit in all here. Are you discriminating against the bee?

SoLiDUS 06-06-2004 06:15 AM

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus: all year long,
the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus
mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and
the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got
a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you ?!

biggrin:

bukdez 06-06-2004 10:48 AM

lmao...

Vance 06-06-2004 11:25 AM

Proof that Canada's system is FUBAR.







*Watches Pyro and all the other Canadians go ballistic*


biggrin:

ninty 06-06-2004 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vance
Proof that Canada's system is FUBAR.







*Watches Pyro and all the other Canadians go ballistic*


biggrin:

oh yah well bush is a homo who likes girls and thats why he had to invade iraw to ge the girls weho are soaked in oil so he can put them in a big machine that sucks the oil off of them, and then he fan put it inot the cars so gas proives dont go high and then he can be president for 4 more years and he gets to live in a big hoursd ewith a telephone/fax/scanner/copier macine all in one, he doesn't habe to wast space with a b8nch of different machines. i bet its sitting on his big desk right now when hes talking to his buddy across teh ocean and they are planning their next crusade bedcause the on;y good thing is that he might get assaassinated by blacks like people do in the movies

Mr.Buttocks 06-06-2004 11:34 AM

oOo:

Eames 06-06-2004 11:39 AM

Re: The Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper
 
[quote="Sergeant_Scrotum":87e7d]The Parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper, Classic Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

The Canadian Post-Modern Version:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a news conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavit with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of inquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community.[/quote:87e7d]

thats what happens when you let liberals in control of a country...."Celebrate cultural diversity" that is the biggest load of shit ive ever heard.

Chappy 06-06-2004 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninty9

oh yah well bush is a homo who likes girls and thats why he had to invade iraw to ge the girls weho are soaked in oil so he can put them in a big machine that sucks the oil off of them, and then he fan put it inot the cars so gas proives dont go high and then he can be president for 4 more years and he gets to live in a big hoursd ewith a telephone/fax/scanner/copier macine all in one, he doesn't habe to wast space with a b8nch of different machines. i bet its sitting on his big desk right now when hes talking to his buddy across teh ocean and they are planning their next crusade bedcause the on;y good thing is that he might get assaassinated by blacks like people do in the movies

a homo who likes girls? weapons grade mispelling? lay off the sauce man

ninty 06-06-2004 12:13 PM

no you MAN eek:

Pyro 06-06-2004 01:45 PM

On the contray...our government may not be perfect...but if you remember the years when conservatives ran it...we'll...here is 3 letters at how they fucked us over...GST.

ninty 06-06-2004 01:47 PM

Didn't Chretien make a promise to get rid of GST? What happened to that?


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