Homer's prank call
 

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/index.php?e=homer1.mp3 don't know if its been posted before, but anyway it think its funny

/b]THIS IS OLD[/B]


Dont post stuff from eBaums. I learned that lesson the hard way....with the iron fist of justice!

its homer that makes it funny.
its old that doesnt make it funny.
your not funny by posting it
your not witty by posting it.
stfu.

gsdft46543444444444

This topics gonna die anyways, but the Arnold Schwarzenegger ones are by far the best. I find the Homer one the most dissapointing...
Give the Jackson ones a try, too. Whoever did it really made a convincing call, instead of randomly pressing responses.

hot poem

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

They say Spain is pretty though I've never been
Well Daniel says it's the best place that he's ever seen
Oh and he should know, he's been there enough
Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal
Your eyes have died but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
Oh God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

....wtf?

She packed my bags last night pre-flight
Zero hour nine a.m.
And I'm gonna be high as a kite by then
I miss the earth so much I miss my wife
It's lonely out in space
On such a timeless flight

And I think it's gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I'm not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no I'm a rocket man
Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man

And I think it's gonna be a long long time...

Waiting...
I was always waiting for you.
Once in a while you'd come.
Sometimes you'd say you'd come, but you didn't.
Othertimes I never heard from you at all.
I always wanted you to be there.
I always wanted to learn from you.
The only thing I've learned from you is how awkward I am around you.
Every time I see you I'm cold and unforgiving, and I don't even realize it until after the fact.
I wonder if you notice.
Do you notice my anger?
Do you notice I want to knock your fucking teeth out?

I was standing under the table.
I knew things wouldn't be the same without you.
You seemed so concerned and sympathetic.
I didn't need your sympathy, I needed you.
I remember the confusion and fear I was overwhelmed with.
I didn't even know if you were still mine.
I thought we were automatically detached forever by this one event.
I remember how close you were to us physically, but you were never really there.
You were always out, satiating your demons.

I remember when you came back, when you fixed up your life.
I remember being happy again.
I remember spending time with you, you visited a lot.
I remember how attached I got to the people in your new life.
It must have been some grand act to rip even more people away from me
because eventually you lost your way again and those people didn't want anything to do with you.
Inadvertently, I was removed from their lives, too.

I was never really the same again.
Everything was so awkward in my new world.
The streets were not so kind, but you weren't there to help me.
The people here were different, but not kind.
I was so impressionable then.
I would have done anything to fit in.
I guess I had to find a replacement somewhere.
I guess it's a good thing I steered clear of the drug dealers at the last minute.
I came so close to following you down your wretched path.

Do you remember when I learned how to shave?
I guess not, you weren't there.
Maybe you could have taught me.
I remember like it was yesterday.
I remember bleeding all over the sink.
I guess that's what happens when a kid has nobody to teach him.
He fucks up.
I remember how awkward everything was then.
I had to teach myself how to talk to girls.
I had to help myself with my geometry homework.
I had to show myself how to stay out of trouble.

I remember when the sickness hit me like a ton of bricks.
It was so hard to operate.
I was working and going to school saddled with a crippling disease.
I wonder what you were up to then.
Were you hammering a carpet into somebody's floor?
Were you sitting back with some beer, watching the Pats?
I know where I was.
I was hiding in a tool shed in an abandoned baseball field.
I was wearing 4 shirts because it was 10 degrees.
It was so cold it fucking hurt.
Standing out there for hours, waiting for the house to empty so I could go back.
I guess I chose the lesser of two pains.
I could have gone to school and dealt with the disease, but it hurt too much.
I had to go to work and deal with that pain later, I can't live with it all day long.
You will never know what that is like.

I remember giving up entirely.
I gave up everything.
I gave up work, school, all my money.
I wonder where you were then.
I know where I was.

I remember how angry I was with you then.
I could have killed you.
It wouldn't have been too hard for me to physically destroy your scrawny ass.
But then, every two times out of the year I'd see you, it was different.
I wasn't me, I was just a little boy who wanted his daddy back.
I'm still waiting.

I remember trying to fix everything.
I remember decimating the GED test and enrolling in college.
I remember how much help I got.
Not from you.
I wonder where you were then.
I know where I was.
I know where mom was, helping me every step of the way like she always tried to do.
Fuck you, dad.

<DoomInYou> #bangfarm
<elstatec> #XXxXPASSWORDS
<DoomInYou> #bandaloremod
<fukcignmaple> #beastiality

[img]http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a189/a189.gif[/img]

NEW YORK - "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Duffy told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of New York Hospital. Duffy, and homosexual partner "Kiki", had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up the rectum and slipped Ragnar , our gerbil, in," explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that Kiki had enough. I tried to retrieve Ragnar but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."

[img]http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a384/a384.gif[/img]