Alliedassault - France!

I'm doing a project for english class that has to do with Dante's Inferno. We're supposed to make up a poster/art thing to show the 9 levels of hell from a certain perspective. My friend and I decided to do hell from the perspective of the French.

I need your guys' help making some images for each level.

[quote:4acb7]“Aww Hell NO!” or “Aww Hell YES!”

A quick look at how some select French people’s hell will look.

Level One: Watch out for the ‘Mime’field
-In this first level of Hell, quite possibly one of the most unhellish places in hell will all the mimes come together and talk, while the anti-American Frogs are silenced forever. The almost sacrilegious events of the mimes talking will enflame the French to massive proportions. There cries of outrage will not be heard, their voices and anti-American sentiments will be silenced forever.
a bunch of mimes in a picture

Level Two: “Freedom, does a body good.”
-Moving down a notch into hell, we see food all of the sudden take on a name change. Everywhere the French look, Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast adorn tables and street-side stands throughout the country. Michael Moore is seen in this part of hell too, labeling and packaging the boxes that read “Freedom Fries.” Unfortunately for him, those Freedom fries are elusive to him, just like cognitive thinking.
french fries and michael moore looking dirty

Level Three: You’re invited to a White Flag Affair.
- Since the French military seem so fond of using white flags, they are no longer allowed to posses anything white which would enable them to surrender. Moseying around with their arms down would be past and current French servicemen and those lovely war criminals who hail from France
google picture of 'French Military Victories' and/or something that has to do with a white flag

Level Four: Viva la English!
- Several state governments heard word that the French schools were not proficient in educating their students. In mass air transit, hundreds of thousands state administrated teachers head over to France to teach them French a little something about English. French teachers are subjugating to learning English with their students in every class they attend.
A picture of the Eifel Tower with a large sign that says "Welcome to France" (in english obviously)

Level 5: “Not-Lean Cuisine”
- A paradigm shift sweeps through the country and with it brings McDonald’s on every street corner in France. It turns out the French models frequent this fine American establishment at least two to three times a day, completely ruining the fashion industry.
McDonald's Golden Arc all over a map of france

Level 6: Splish Splash I was Takin’ a Bath…
- Pepe Le Pew is used as a model of hygiene, being paraded around French cities and given baths every hour on the hour. French women are introduced to razors and nose hair removers and are required to take classes on how to use them. Men are shaving off those stupid pencil mustaches all throughout the country and unlimited amounts of soap are made available to the country’s populace.
razors, hygene products, Pepe Le Pew, etc.

Level 7: This Land is MY Land
- Napoleon turns over in his grave when he somehow learns that Quebec is now a US territory. Other French territories are doled out to the US like extra packets of ketchup. Not Heinz ketchup though.
US flag on the province

Level 8: Fashion at a Discount
- The rich French are no longer all that exclusive. In a groundbreaking merger, fashion company CoCo Chanel and Wal-Mart are to become business partners. Wal-Mart will offer Chanel fashions at everyday low prices! CoCo Chanel turns over in his alligator skin pants that he wore to his grave.
The chanel Logo mixed with wal-mart's saying "Chan-Mart"

Level 9: Eternal State of the Union
- The French ministry, government and beloved president Chirac are given seats on the Republican side of the Capital Building for eternity as President Bush reads his State of the Union addresses. Every time the Republicans applaud, so must the French aristocracy. Chirac is overheard asking his top aide “How long is eternity?”
A picture of Chirac's face on Dick Cheney's body from one of the screen shots of the State of the Union Address so you can see Bush and 'Chirac' in the same frame.

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I know you guys will have some fun with this one.
Thanks for the help in advance.