Worst sex ever
 

Went out with my friends tonight and got really drunk for the first time. I ended up in the backseat of this whales car. Her legs had stuble, her back had hair, and her snatch stank like it hadnt been bathed in a week. My friends wanted me to get drunk, but they made the mistake of letting me drive there. So to get back, i fuckin sobered up fast with a bucket of water, puked a few times in an alley then took my car and fuckin left those shit fucks behind. 35 minutes later on the road, they call me, but im busy at Taco Bell pouring hot sauce into my throat and gurgling it to get her taste out of my mouth. I dont know how, but i managed to eat food w/o puking all over my car. I staggered home a few minutes ago and took this shot of me waiting for one of my friends to come home, he lives across the street.

[url=http://img388.imageshack.us/my.php?image=img05581bs.jpg:05e36][img]http://img388.imageshack.us/img388/2935/img05581bs.th.jpg[/img][/url:05e36]

cheers motherfuckers

ok?

nag:

you have satisfied a fat chick. i had the fastest sex ever two nights ago....didnt even happen rock:

hahah, i dont even think i satisfied her happy:

-1 for driving under the influence.

As for the bad sex.....been there, done that. I remember coming home from this girls house and had this wicked stank coming from my crotch. Her pussy smelt like a rotting corpse and i couldn't get home fast enough to wash my dick. Why did i fuck her you ask? Well, her name started with a "Y" and i needed that letter for my lil' alphabet fuck game. (fucking my way through the alphabet A-Z)

Chalk that up to experience my friend and never get behind the wheel unless you're 100% sober and not "stumbling" through the door.

She loves you now, and she's pregnant.....that's her at the door.

Just be glad she didn't take a post-sex shit in the glovebox.

yes - 1 for DUI. I wont drive if Im sober but slightly hung over. I wait until I am feeling 100% better.
Cant say I'ev fucked a whale though, good job you fucking beastiality freak.

[quote="Unknown_Sniper":a59be]I wont drive if Im sober[/quote:a59be]

eek:

Almost been there many a times. Then jesus whispers in my ear to not do it.

*sigh, i guess like in life itself, Jesus was not here for me this time. I wasnt drunk when I drove home guys, I drank lots of water and ate some food for about a little over an hour before I left, I just wanted to stick to the story, so I didnt add that part because it was boring. They came home at some hour at night after I slept, but I expect them to bust in here laughing in a couple of hours. I cant get her smell off my fingers no matter how much I scrub, it makes me fearful of what I was touching that night.

yeast infection

spank:

if your that drunk, it takes like a whole morning to get sober, not an hour.

it goes one drink = one hour, if you know what i mean