so today I was chatting with god and he says.....
 

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

god uses IM's

bring forth the old?? the_finger:

Me:
Your son is in my house. How do you feel about that?
God:
You think I am son is in your house. " You think I am son is in your house."? What is it?
Me:
Noone told me god had the cognative abilities of an African ape.
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
It is a generalization about you, based on one of your previous statements.
God:
your virginity is a generalization about me based on one of my previous statements. I suppose that makes sense.

happy:

Me:
what about my addiction to pedophelia?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.

Me:
Do you masturbate?
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
Human? Thats racist
God:
No I am an artificial robot being. Makes sense to me.

Me:
Should Zoner stop slacking and jacking off?

God:
Maybe you should ask someone older.

Me:
How much older?

God:
More than a little, less than a lot.

Me:
YOU ARE GAY

God:
That would be just my luck.

Me:
Forgive me god, for I have sinned. I have had sexual relations outside of marrage
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? Do you still have sexual relations outside of marrage ?
Me:
Well im planning on banging the shit out of a co-worker
God:
Interesting. I am glad to hear that you are planning on banging the shit out of a co worker.
Me:
Do you approve of it?
God:
Yes I try to approve of it as often as possible, do you?

_________

Me:
Do you watch lesbian porn?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
Hot clit action?
God:
That sounds better than cold clit action.

AHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Dirk
God:
How are you, Dirk.
Me:
HA TRICKED YOU FUCKER MY NAMES JIM
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
you're not god, you're a fat fucking child molester in Arizona
God:
What makes you think I am not god I am a fat fucking child molester in Arizona?

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Shawn
God:
Glad to see you, Shawn.
Me:
Why do you give Christians the idea that Hell exists after death, but truly Hell exists already on this Earth you say you created?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
You choose not to explain, because you know it is just another lie to further your ego
God:
I can't decide. You pick one.
Me:
I pick that you're a douche
God:
How do you choose?
Me:
it was easy i only had to look at you

God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Masterbate
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
I think you're wrong.

happy:

spank:


God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
Masterbate
God:
I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
I think you're wrong.

God is a perv. He asked what i was wearing!

He is also hip, he said "Far Out"