Check this out
 

EDIT: Anybody else who wants the story can pm me. Itll be easier that way.

too many words to be checked out sorry

aw come on. Read through it and give me your honest opinion. My friend is bugging me to show it to as many people as I know and get their thoughts.

fuck that im not reading that. can you give me a summary of what it is about

Fuck that, i want a summary of your summary

every long post should have cliff notes.

lol....lazy bastards. Alright, how bout this. Anybody who reads it and gives me an honest opinion, not some BS, gets a +1.(yea I know lame attempt but I got to try something.) Ill forward all your opinions to the friend in question.

That was an awesome story! Your friend has real talent man.

make me even karma and you got a deal

cool, ill be sure to tell him that, thanks for reading. beer: +1

I read it, he could fiddle with some of the adjectives(his voice was getting raspier, i find that awkward to read) and maybe find alternatives to the word "He"(only in situations where he repeats them over and over, but maybe he wants to get an effect using it over and over so meh)..but very good, now gimme +1

good to hear. Keep em coming guys. Also, if you have any constructive critisizm, he would probably love to hear it, since he is the perfectionist type. Anyway, +1 in an hour.

[quote="[DAS REICH] Blitz":207b5]I read it, he could fiddle with some of the adjectives(his voice was getting raspier, i find that awkward to read) and maybe find alternatives to the word "He"(only in situations where he repeats them over and over, but maybe he wants to get an effect using it over and over so meh)..but very good, now gimme +1[/quote:207b5]Ok, cool. Thanks man, its appreciated. +1 when i get the chance.

Was alright.

It's actually not a long read at all, so all of you above should read.