Alliedassault - Mr. TGB's Wacky Japan Adventure

For the next two weeks, I will be blogging - LIVE! - from the heart of crass consumerism and tight bodies sexually repressed Asians - JAPAN! This is my second trip here, and thankfully I know the ropes a bit so I wont be lost like last time.

My trip started this morning at 700AM with me going to KINKO's to print out the directions to my hostel because my printer at home decided to take a shit. The KINKO's folks were out of character - and by out of character I mean they werent complete dicks when I walked in.

At 8:30 my ride to El Airporto showed up, and after a quick stop at JAMBA - we headed on over to the flying death trap. On the way I had a weird feeling - like I was going to be sploded or some shit. . .

There were no splosions - but there was a big fat red fucking CANCELLED FLIGHT! Of course my flight was the last possible flight to SFO to make a connection to J-Town. Five minutes later it started raining. At this point I thought that all the baby punching karma I had was coming back to bite me in the ass, and that I was not meant to enjoy my two weeks vacation. Some middle eastern chick (no doubt a terrorist) came up to us Intl Fliers, and told us that we had to wait in the "HA HA YOURE FROM DENVER AND NOW YOURE FUCKED" line, which you would easily confuse for the line at the IMMIGRATION OFFICE downtown. . .

I of course said "fuck that" - and waited in the Intl. Line I was in. . .eventually some asian chick came up and told a few of us of a shuttle bus that was going to traffic people to SFO - score. . well would have been a score if this obese chick hadnt hopped in the van and INSISTED she get to sit up front. No biggie (except for her that is) - but then we of course hit MAJOR FUCKING TRAFFIC. Three times. I had 2 hours and 30 minutes to get to my flight; I got to it with about 10 minutes to spare.

After boarding, I got stuck with some shit seats: on the left, some douchebag from Hong Kong who didnt seem to have a filter to prevent himself from singing - the entire god damned 11 Hour Flight! - and some smelly guy from Sand-Land (aka the middle east). I wanted to drink, but knew that if I did, I would fall asleep and I would be wired once I reached the hostel, which just fucks with your jetlag even more. To add insult to injury, the only movies they that were good was Talledega and The Illusionist (which I thought was gay as fuck but was actually good). The fucked up thing about the service - the movies were on a timer. . .so you couldnt start and stop it like I was able to do on other flights. Which means if you missed a part of a movie - you had to wait three hours before it restarted.

FINALLY! - We get to Tokyo, and after about 30 minutes in the terminal, and one hour on the subway. . .I step out on to the Asakusa Street. . .at night. . .and am totally fucking lost. If anyone has been here before you know this place was designed by drunkards. . .shit is just tossed together in every which way. There is NO reason to the grid layout here. If theres space, they slap a street on it and some buildings. Factor in a 70LB load Im carrying around, a 9PM check in time (it was 8:21 when I got off the subway) and Im getting antsy. After wandering for about 10 minutes, I decide to get serious, and manage to find the place. First impressions - theres some good looking foreign tail here.

Right now I am hungry, plus I got a free pass for booze from the hostel (they own a bar I guess). . .havent taken too many pictures - but heres one of a normal Jap subway car. . .

[img]http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/7785/subway1fs0.jpg[/img]

[img]http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/4903/subway2vp0.jpg[/img]