"Funniest thing you heard today" thread.
 

Post the funniest thing(s) you heard someone else say today. Context is optional.

"I went to a redneck bar last night. I had to pay cover as a penalty for having more than 14 teeth."

LOL

It wasn't really something I heard, but saw. I drove past the place that I usually get my hair cut. I saw this family walk out after getting their hair recently cut. The father walked out in a tight beater and some really short skin tight shorts, pulled a comb out of his pocket and proceeded to comb his mullet. His wife had one of those teased up bangs with the string fake blond femullet. The two young boys had their hair cut normaly, but they had their hair squared off where the sideburn would be and it was like a ghetto bullcut.

The fact that people requested these haircuts at the place I get my haircut bothered me. Still I got a chuckle seeing that people are still trapped in the 80's.

i misread a sign that said 'crap therapy'. sorry.

I found [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=280IPakf0N0&NR=1:cd07f]this[/url:cd07f] kinda funny.

some funny moments during Yes, Dear today

rofl

award for most outstanding dance has been making me rofl for weeks:

[url:f8a25]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1TX8704dPk[/url:f8a25]

FUNKY CHICKEN!

LOL @ celebrity glory hole

"Can I get a new fuckin tape gun please god damn" from bitchy frank at work... I guess you guys wouldnt find that funny but if you knew this guy you'd be lolin to

the other day he was bitchin about how alot of people there speak spanish... he was flippin out on this girl that didnt speak english... "god damn why dont you fuckin people speak english, go get me a new tape gun god damn it"

oOo:

"Washington State police called and said they found your keys and wallet on brokeback mountain"

"I nearly reduced my girlfriend's extended family count by 1 on Saturday night."

"Megadeth, Five Magics...it sounds like he could be singing "Thigh master..."

"Ok, I'm at The Beer Store today...let's play a game. It's called bring your motherfucking ID. If the cashier asks you for your ID, and you don't have it, you cannot be sold alcohol. Don't give the cashier attitude in the case that this happens, they just don't want to lose their job. The cashier is not allowed to just take your word for it, so bring some government issued identification, or just go to fucking Starbucks and use your beer money to buy a small double mocha jizz latte instead."

LOL @ double mocha jizz latte

"Penis"

omg hilariousssss

hol up erbody

pyro wins

I r teh winarZez

"Listen, I'll get around to it when I'm done this. Until then, fuck off. Please...thank you."