[Sergeant_Scrotum]

here are some canadian ones, more funny IMO

>>________________________________________
>>Q: Are you sexually active?
>>A: No, I just lie there.
>>________________________________________
>>Q: What is your date of birth?
>>A: July 15th.
>>Q: What year?
>>A: Every year.
>>________________________________________
>>Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
>>A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>>________________________________________
>>Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>A: I forget.
>>Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that
>>you've forgotten?
>>_____________________________________
>>Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>>A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
>>Q: How long has he lived with you?
>>A: Forty-five years.
>>_______________________________________
>>Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
>>woke up that morning?
>>A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>>Q: And why did that upset you?
>>A: My name is Susan.
>>________________________________________
>>Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo
>>or the occult?
>>A: We both do.
>>Q: Voodoo?
>>A: We do.
>>Q: You do?
>>A: Yes, voodoo.
>>_________________________________________
>>Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
>>sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>>______________________________________
>>Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
>>__________________________________________
>>Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>__________________________________________
>>Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: And what were you doing at that time?
>>________________________________________
>>Q: She had three children, right?
>>A: Yes.
>>Q: How many were boys?
>>A: None.
>>Q: Were there any girls?
>>________________________________________
>>Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
>>A: By death.
>>Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>________________________________________
>>Q: Can you describe the individual?
>>A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>>Q: Was this a male, or a female?
>>____________________________________________
>>Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
>>notice which I sent to your attorney?
>>A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>>___________________________________________
>>Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
>>A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>>___________________________________________
>>Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
>>to?
>>A: Oral.
>>___________________________________________
>>Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>>A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>>Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
>>A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
>>autopsy.
>>__________________________________________
>>Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>>__________________________________________
>>Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
>>pulse?
>>A: No.
>>Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
>>A: No.
>>Q: Did you check for breathing?
>>A: No.
>>Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
>>began the autopsy?
>>A: No.
>>Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>>A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
>>Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
>>A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
>>practicing law somewhere