[1080jibber]

a little something about mom


My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -I just finished
cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep crying and I'll "give" you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS -
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM -
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen
then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!

THANKS, MOM!