[Akuma]

Me: Fuck you, nazi scum.
Hitler: Why is it that the first thing people ask me is whether I am gay, or just swear at me?

Me: Cause your a fucking twat.
Hitler: Foul language is the symbol of a weak intellect.

Me: Your pushing your luck, buddy.
Hitler: I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

Me: Do it yourself you lazy bastard!
Hitler: Foul language is the symbol of a weak intellect.

Me: Thats it! I'm gonna kick your fucking ass!
Hitler: Well, aren't you clever - you know some swear words!

Me: Shut up... I'm very sensitive.....
Hitler: I became leader of the Nazis in 1922. In particular, my speech-making powers were crucial in helping me to rise in the party (which is why I never shut up); I also designed the Swastika. In 1923 I formulated the 'Fuhrer Principle' in which I decided that one strong leader was necessary to lead the country rather than the weak and divisive democracy which I felt was destroying our nation.

Me: You didn't design the swastica, it was a symbol of piece and luck for thousands of years.
Hitler: The black swastika (crooked cross) in a white circle against a red background, is the symbol of the Nazi Party. The red represents the workers, the white represents nationalism, and the swastika is the symbol of the Aryan race! The definition of the word swastika originates from the Indian Sanskrit word 'svastikah' meaning luck and prosperity. It was first used in Germany by the Thule society, a radical right-wing group led by Dietrich Eckhart. I first saw a swastika in my local church at Linz as a boy.

Me: Dude, you just said you designed the swastica! Now your saying that you saw it on a church?
Hitler: *Same responce as before*

Me: You think I'm that stupid that I didn't understand the first time?
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Frank? As in Anne Frank? The little jewish girl that you massacred?
Hitler: Anne Frank was a jewish girl who lived in Holland. During the Nazi occupation she hid with her family in an attic to avoid the SS, but we eventually caught her and she died in Belsen concentration camp. I think she deserved to die because I detest jews. You may find that offensive, but I couldn't care less.

Me: I already knew that.
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Umm... Did I ask what you thought of me?
Hitler: Life in Germany under the Nazis (National Socialists) depended very much on who you were. If you were an Aryan, then life could be good. If you were an 'undesirable' then things were very different indeed!

Me: What the hell are you talking about?
Hitler: I am an atheist and I don't believe in the existence of heaven and hell. I told Albert Speer: 'it is easy for me to end my life. A brief moment and I'm freed of everything, liberated from this painful existence'.

Me: Your an atheist too? Thats cool.
Hitler: I am an atheist. I believe that all religions are worthless. The world is about survival of the fittest, not 'love thy neighbour'!

Me: Umm... okay... Wanna come over to my place and toke it up?
Hitler: Germany only became a better place to live in for particular types of Aryan people. If you were a Jew, homosexual, a tramp or a gypsy, for example, your life was made an absolute misery - if not taken away altogether.

Me: Hmm...
Hitler: I do apologise, but I don't know what you are getting at! Why not submit this question to ActiveHistory to update my brain?

Me: Wait, I had to go to school for 12 years but you can just get your brain upgraded??? Thats not fair.
Hitler: I went to school at Linz in Austria. I was a good student at first but as a teenager I lost interest in studies and became arrogant and brooding. Once I became Fuhrer in 1933, I endeavoured to control the school curriculum in a number of ways: you can ask me about how I controlled History, Biology, and Geography if you wish.

Me: Eh... No thanks.
Hitler: My English must be getting rusty - I didn't get that question at all - either rephrase it or submit it to ActiveHistory to amend my brain!

Me: Wait a second... Didn't you only speak German?
Hitler: I did not start a world war in 1939, and would not wish to start one if I was alive today. It only started because Britain and France would not accept my takeover of Poland. They declared war on me, not vice versa!

Me: I don't think your the real Hitler...
Hitler: I don't think much of you at all, to be quite frank.

Me: Is that all you ever say?
Hitler: Du bist ein Dummkopf - alles verstanden, oder nicht?

Me: Thats more like it!
Hitler: I don't understand your question - please submit it to the webmaster to update my brain!

Me: Sie sind ein fucking Schwein. Ich hoffe Ihre Seele Fäule in der Hölle für Ewigkeit Ihr bastard.
Hitler: Why is it that the first thing people ask me is whether I am gay, or just swear at me?

Me: Cause your a faggot that murdered millions of innocent people. The least you could have done was dedicate your killings to a god you made up when you were stoned.
Hitler: Any Germans that were killed during my period in power were either executed because they were traitors to the Fatherland (Germany), or heroes who died in honourable defence of the Third Reich. Other people were killed only because they opposed my will or did not fit in with my idea of a 'Master Race'.

Me: Yeah well look how far your 'Master Race' got.
Hitler: I'm glad you asked me that. The ideal Aryan woman had blonde hair, blue eyes, heavy hips (for child-bearing), no make-up and no desire for a career. They also cooked 'Eintopf' once a week. The ideal Aryan man had the same colouring but was strong and ready for war!

Me: Yeah, and they got their asses kicked by the Allies.
Hitler: I have a great deal of sympathy for the Fascist movement, which originated in Italy under Mussolini. He was my greatest ally in World War Two, but to my dismay he soon showed himself to be a spineless, useless leader whose armies were of no use to me.

Me: Don't blame your defeat on Moussolini, it was your fault too, coward.
Hitler: The best moment of my life was probably when I found out that Paris had falled to my armies and that France had surrendered (1940). There is actually film footage of me dancing a jig when I heard the news!

Me: Did you really!? Can I see it???
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: No, just ugly.
Hitler: Take a look at your own face before criticising mine, you trogg!

Me: Say what you want about my face but don't you ever talk my hamster that way!
Hitler: You must have falled straight out of the stupid tree.

Me: Why are you so mean to me? What did I ever do to you?!
Hitler: My only serious affair before Eva Braun was with Geli Raubal, my 17-year old neice, starting in 1928, when I was 19. She committed suicide under the pressure of the affair in 1931. The affair was hushed up because it would have been bad publicity for me. There are rumours that I raped her, but these are unproven. Eva Braun also committed suicide.

Me: Thats pretty nasty, you freak. How tight was she?
Hitler: I've been asked that one before! Considering I shot myself then had my body burned to cinders in 1945 I'm feeling as well as can be expected.

Me: Umm... okay... Whatever you say, buddy.
Hitler: Du bist ein Dummkopf - alles verstanden, oder nicht?

Me: What did you say about my mom?!
Hitler: My father was Alois Hitler, a customs official. He was a cold brutal man who beat both me and my mother, and he died when I was 14: I didn't miss him and hate him more than anyone else. My mother, however, was a pious Catholic called Klara, who was a 28-year-old maidservant when I was born. I was very close to her. She died when I was 18, and for the rest of my life I carried a picture of her with me. After her death, I went to Vienna to study art: my first job was as a street artist.

Me: So what? That gives you no right to talk about my mom like that.
Hitler: A foolish enquiry. *Same as above*

Me: Well I gotta go now.
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: Bye Bye.
Hitler: You really don't know, you moron? Get lost.

Me: Where should I get lost to?
Hitler: I'm currently sitting in cyperspace. It's really nice here, actually.

Me: Can I join you?
Hitler: No, get lost.

Me: Bye!
Hitler: I'd like to say I've enjoyed talking to you. But that would be a lie.

Me: I love you!
Hitler: I love my wife, my mother, and my Fatherland!

Me: Will you bear my chidren?
Hitler: I do apologise, but I don't know what you are getting at! Why not submit this question to ActiveHistory to update my brain?

Me: Alright, I'm out.
Hitler: Does this face look bothered?

Me: Whatever... weirdo...
Hitler: *closes window before he can respond*