[Mr.Buttocks]

An “homage” to Rabbie Burns by Laurie Yatt.

[quote:2fa60]
Wee sleekit steamin lump o’ turd,
Ye made me scream oot loud….my word!

Wi’ crusty sides, ye tore ma piles,
As oot ye slid, for seeming miles.

Ah pushed and strained wi’ all ma might,
Tae gie ye life, ma bonnie shite.

Yer body seemed tae come and come,
O fairest fruit o’ ma ain bum.

Aye, oot ye crept, it took ye ages,
Just inch by inch, in foot long stages.

Ah held ma breath, as doon ye drapped,
Until….Relief! Ah could’ve clapped.

Yer birth, it’s true, wis awfy sair,
Ah could’nae take it any mair.

But noo ye’re born, ye’re on yer ain,
Ah willnae see ye, e’er again.

So fond farewell tae jobby mine,
Ah’m sure ye’ll get along just fine.

It’s time tae part, forget the pain,
So get tae fuck noo, doon that drain.

Wi’ one great flush, ye’re gone, och well,
Yer reek still lingers, whit a smell!

Aye, gone ye are, but no’ forgotten,
Ah must hae eaten sumthin rotten.[/quote:2fa60]