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Things you need to believe to be a Republican.
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Innoxx is Offline
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Default Things you need to believe to be a Republican. - 08-08-2004, 02:48 PM

[quote:63dd9]Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when
Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business
with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden"
diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist,
but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and
our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions
against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting
all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and
Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the
troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have
sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time
allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.
Providing health care to all Americans is socialism

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the
public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk
science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a
impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in
which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless
you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need
our prayers for your recovery.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General
John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they
have the right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national
interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.[/quote:63dd9]
  
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