Sounds to me like someone got experience playing the game w/o realism and was pretty good at it, then joined a realism server and got their ass handed to them. Maybe the problem is that you haven't adjusted your play style. Its not that one type of game requires skill and the other does not - they each require different skills. If you want to stay alive longer on a realism server, you have to play differently.
But that is beside the point. The point of realism servers is that the game is now not ruined for folks like me. You and I both have choices now, instead of just you getting it your way and me hating the game.
I'm not going to point by point praise the realism mods and crap on the non-realism aspects of the game. My choice says everything, as does yours. The good thing is, we now both have choices. The game is not "ruined for you", there's plenty of servers out there w/o realism. The 20 lowest ping servers for me don't run realism, so I end up playing on a lot of 100+ ping servers. But to me, it's worth the price.
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"If your philosophy does not produce corn, I don't want to hear about it." - Red Bear