[mr.miyagi]

BBC news report

Michael Jackson has been arrested on drug charges in his home in wonderland.

FBI officers found class a's in his kitchen, traces of class b's in his bathroom, and class 4C in his bedroom

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A pedofile and a 9 yr old boy are walking through the woods on a spooky night.

The boy says to the pedofile: "Mister... I'm scared!"

The pedofile replies: "You think you're scared, I gotta walk outta here by myself!" hake:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob and his wife are expecting a baby. It's been 9 months and the baby is due at any time. One day, Bob gets a call at work, and a voice on the line says, "come down right away, your wife is going into labor!"

After half an hour of traffic and frantic driving, Bob finally makes it to the hospital. He runs inside, and searches high and low for his wife, with no success. Finally he stumbles upon the nursery, and he sees a young nurse. She's holding a bundle of cloth, and from it a tiny little head pokes out. "Sir," says the nurse, "this is your baby." Bob is astonished, and a wave of joy rushes over him.

The nurse drops the baby on the floor.

Bob goes apeshit. "WHAT THE FUCK are you DOING!" he shouts.

Then the nurse starts to kick the baby around on the floor like a soccer ball. After she's done with that, she picks the baby up and throws it against the wall. "Stop it! STOP! You're killing my baby!" says Bob. The nurse turns and smiles.

"April Fools! It was dead when you got here!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first,
but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed, sex obsessed swine!" retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country....we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives......... "

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella
'Mississippi'."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's black and loud?



Stevie Wonder answering the iron.