[Albow0001]

I'm a projectionist at a local theater, its got about 8 theaters running.

I've worked there over 2 years, and i've climbed my way up from serving you your food and drinks to cleaning up your kid's puke to finally being in complete control of everything you see.

1: Projectionists put porn in movies: Yeah...wouldn't you? We just dont do it often. I'm really lazy, and in order to put a few scenes of porn into a kids movie, i have to find the porn, pull out an appropriate scene while holding it over a shitty light, splice it off its reel, tape the reel back together, open up the kids reel, splice the film in, and then tape all that shit together too...so, not that often. Just for ones i hate, like fucking Robots.

2: You are being ripped off on popcorn False

You are being ripped off on popcorn, drinks, candy, food, tickets, and even the free napkins. A bag of 50 pounds of popcorn seed that could fill over 200 large bags of popcorn costs us $25 by bulk costs, and a stack of 100 plastic bags for popcorn holding costs us 75c ... we sell the large bags for $5.75 ... do the math (Sloi). The drinks, i mean come on, a slip of syrup costs us 20 bucks, and when diluted with water we can make over 300 drinks with that...we're just raping you utterly...
Top that with the fact that in our theater, we keep the ice holders right across from the popcorn poppers, and between each till for serving, so when someone coughs, or a nickle is lost, or a stray dozen popcorn kernels zoom into the air, it winds up being scooped into someone's drink. Yeah...one time, a friend who'd had his hand hit with a baseball bat lost the fingernail and the bandage that was holding it on into the ice...yeah.

3: Everything gets swept under the seats anyways! Tricky...depends on the theater. If it takes your local theater 2 minutes to clean the whole place, then yes....but at mine, we tend to clean up almost every bit in the theater, so thats not a definitive...it just depends how lazy the teens in your area are.

4: If there was a fire alarm, you'd all be fucked. Yup. Now i'm not saying whether i agree with this or not, i'm just stating out training. Our fire escapes are so clogged with refuse from the zellers downstairs, coupled with the fact that we havn't changed the lights in probably a decade, that when i went to go down one 6 months ago i needed a flashlight and half an hour to make it 100 feet. Couple this with the fact that we are trained to abandon the handicapped in the event of an emergency. Training states that if there's a fire, we warn them that we will be warning the fire crews that they are in there, then we leave them in the theaters and are not allowed to help them for risk of holding back other guests. "They knew the risks when they left the house" is the policy.

5: Fuck you and your short attention span. You didnt read any of this anyways, even though its probably going to be very important to you when you go to see a movie next. True