[Drew]

Just found out today that I'm getting promoted to Director of Accounting and Finance for my site. Means I'll be personally responsible for $12+ million worth of budgets, investments, etc. And I'll have two assistants under me. Werd. Finishing your degree kicks ass.

Anyway, thought of something you might not know about the accounting department. Some of this only office workers will understand:

1. The accounting department and/or supply clerk are office supply nazis in order to save on the company bottom line.

Nope. We just do it because it is funny as hell to see what people will do in order to get something they want. One of our "administrative assistants" came into our office a few months ago and wanted a certain type of pen so badly that she unbuttoned her blouse halfway, held the pen in her cleavage and said, "Can I order a dozen more of these?" She is, of course, the office slut. But hey, whatever. Bottom line, we're just fucking with you. It isn't our bonus is office supplies are over for the quarter.

2. It must've been a computer error.

The great thing about accounting software is that it is common knowledge within the industry that it fucks up and fucks up quite regularly. What is not common knowledge to anyone other than the people who use it every day is just how and when it fucks up. So next time one of your payments doesn't get applied to your account, or you get overbilled, and they say it must've been a software problem, call bullshit. It usually just means we misposted your payment.

3. If you can add, subtract, multiply and divide, you can be an accountant.

This one is just funny. If you can do all that, you can do bookkeeping, but that is a FAR cry from being an accountant. You can be an accountant if you can forecast for investments, master the tax code, memorize the general accounting practices, etc.