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CoMaToSe · 08-19-2005, 03:50 AM

Vin Diesel can cause the seasons to change with nothing more than a pixie stick and a sit-n-spin.

His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there.

Vin Diesel's penis has eight different functions, as opposed to a Swiss Army knife, which only has six, AND lacks a mini satellite dish.

One of Vin Diesel's least talked about side projects is the recreation of Michelangelo's "Pieta" out of used bits of chewing gum collected from the bottom of his favorite table at Red Lobster. When asked about the expected date of completion for his work, Diesel replied, "I also enjoy removing the rubber bands from their claws."

Vin Diesel once took a dump. That dump is what we now call North Dakota.

Vin Diesel was the real creator of Spawn, not Todd McFarlane. In fact, Vin Diesel IS Spawn, and using his awesome hell powers, he thought up the greatest sci-fi movies ever, including Alien, Blade Runner, and Terminator. He also starred in all of them, as both the main characters and as the monsters, and his favorite roles were those of Newt, the Alien Queen, Pris, and John Connor, while simultaneously impregnating all the supposed people who played the above-mentioned roles, and causing all of them to give birth to their own grandchildren, because his semen is really Red Bull energy drink.

[img]http://www.zetaminor.com/images/news_pictures/pitch_black_vin_150.jpg[/img]

	(#12)
CoMaToSe is Offline Colonel Posts: 8,441 Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Goatse	08-19-2005, 03:50 AM Vin Diesel can cause the seasons to change with nothing more than a pixie stick and a sit-n-spin. His feces weigh more than the sum of the food he consumes. Physicist Stephen Hawking- who was actually stricken with MS as the result of a curse placed upon him by Vin Diesel after the two had a heated argument over a minor point of Einstein's theory of special gravity (Vin Diesel was proven correct in a later experiment)- has been quoted as saying that he may hold the key to understanding "dark matter" somewhere in his digestive tract. Carson Daly reported that he didn't see anything suspicious in there. Vin Diesel's penis has eight different functions, as opposed to a Swiss Army knife, which only has six, AND lacks a mini satellite dish. One of Vin Diesel's least talked about side projects is the recreation of Michelangelo's "Pieta" out of used bits of chewing gum collected from the bottom of his favorite table at Red Lobster. When asked about the expected date of completion for his work, Diesel replied, "I also enjoy removing the rubber bands from their claws." Vin Diesel once took a dump. That dump is what we now call North Dakota. Vin Diesel was the real creator of Spawn, not Todd McFarlane. In fact, Vin Diesel IS Spawn, and using his awesome hell powers, he thought up the greatest sci-fi movies ever, including Alien, Blade Runner, and Terminator. He also starred in all of them, as both the main characters and as the monsters, and his favorite roles were those of Newt, the Alien Queen, Pris, and John Connor, while simultaneously impregnating all the supposed people who played the above-mentioned roles, and causing all of them to give birth to their own grandchildren, because his semen is really Red Bull energy drink. [img]http://www.zetaminor.com/images/news_pictures/pitch_black_vin_150.jpg[/img]