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The Hell in Vietnam
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Chronic Diarrhea is Offline
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Default The Hell in Vietnam - 05-26-2007, 07:47 PM

So I'm bored as Hell today (no pun intended), and I decide to download several demos of games that either came out quite a while ago, just came out, or will come out. I really enjoyed Splinter Cell Chaos Theory. The graphics were really sharp for being a few years old, and the frame rate was awesome (100+).

Anyway, I came across this game called The Hell in Vietnam. I thought, "Well, it sounds cheesy, and it's probably a piece of shit, but the demo's only 250-something MB, so what the Hell" (no pun intended). Let me tell you right now, this game is probably one of the top 5 worst fucking games for the PC I have ever played. Actually, no, it's THE WORST FUCKING GAME. AND I ONLY PLAYED THE GODDAMN THING FOR 10 MINUTES. I'm serious, Wolfenstein 3D is more enjoyable than this piece of shit.

What makes this game a vile rotten cunt flap? Where do I begin? The graphics look like something from 1999, maybe even older. MOHAA's and RTCW's (Wolfenstein) graphics put this game to shame. The weapon models are atrocious. They're horribly meshed textures pasted onto a low poly-count model. I thought something was fucked with the graphics, as I selected "high" for everything. I should have known to expect the worst, as the game didn't even give me an option to run at 1280 x 1024 resolution. Fuck this, just look at the screenshot:

[img]http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2007/119/939309_20070430_screen009.jpg[/img]

As bad as the graphics are, the gameplay might just be worse. I selected the hard difficulty, thinking that I could probably handle it since I play through all FPS games on the hardest difficulty the first time through. Little did I know hard apparently means that enemies can shoot through walls to kill you. My very first encounter was an NVA soldier on top of a 3 story building who runs up to throw a grenade, and another NVA on a second story window firing his AK at me. I killed the guy on the roof, then went prone behind a tall wall. I notice that red keeps flashing on my screen. I thought this was to simulate the bullets whizzing by and that my guy is shitting his pants. Nope. I'm getting shot. THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL. I die, and say WTF pretty loud. OK, I'll try it again. this time I run forward enough to trigger the script, and then I run back behind that same wall and behind an entire building. I'M GETTING SHOT!! To make it worse, I'm getting shot by the guy as he randomly raises his weapon over the window, concealing his entire body. The only way I can kill this fuck is to throw a grenade, which is practically useless because grenades just float in the air instead of actually resembling an object following the laws of gravity.

OK, fuck this. The third time, I just sprint past the building, and I throw a nade right into the window close up. Finally. Fuck. The next path makes you go down a road with a train or bus (I really don't know, the textures are that bad, I seriously can't tell). You know what happens next? A FUCKING SOLDIER SPAWNS FROM OUT OF NOWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD. I'm serious. Dead fucking serious.

To make all of this even worse, the game has a lame interface and elementary descriptions of weapons or objectives. The grenades are listed as "Offensive grenades." Is that opposed to a defensive grenade? Fuck this game.

This guy pretty much covers it all correctly:

[url:7f997]http://www.gamespot.com/pc/action/thehellinvietnam/show_msgs.php?topic_id=m-1-35156121&pid=939309[/url:7f997]


Here's the demo. It's almost worth it.

[url:7f997]http://browse.files.filefront.com/The+Hell+in+Vietnam+Official+Demos/;1947193;/browsefiles.html[/url:7f997]
  
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