 The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! |
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Senior Member
Posts: 2,416
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Canada! Home of fast beer and bubbly women... Wait, i think i mixed that up
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The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! -
10-08-2002, 08:49 PM
The past few days have been a desperate and trying time for authorities trying to uncover the MAryland sniper. No doubt they are out in the cold trying to hunt down someone who could remain completely hidden. That is why i have decided that my theory must be put forward. Ladies and gentlemen, the Maryland sniper is a real person. But let us first draw a few conclusions:
1: To obtain the shots desired, the shooter in Maryland must indeed have been a sniper of sorts.
2: It is a well documented fact that all snipers are "Gay-ass lamers", as can be easily proofed by attending any online game of Medal of Honour, or counter-strike.
3: Most gay-ass lamers tend to be socially inept and afraid of people to a point of violent aggression
4: Aggression can come off in many ways, and may be reflected in what many people say, as well as a tendency to gay porn.
Therefore i am hereby putting my theories to the test. Detective Bill Rossmo has a theory that because all humans are essentially lazy, such as why you go to the corner store for milk, instead of Scotland, you would also go to the park to kill someone instead of across the ocean. People are lazy. Therefore we can conclude that the killer must be a gay ass lamer, who enjoys gay amateur porn, who lives in Maryland. For the killer to travel out of their way to take specific targets in Maryland is unlikely.
Following that logic, there must be reasoning for his attack. The sniper must have a particular dislike. Thusfar, the major targets have been school children and the elderly. Six consecutive attacks have proven so. What sets children and the elderly apart? what do they have in common?
They both smell. Awful. They both smell like a severed clitoris left to rot and wrangle in the sun after being removed from a swahili girl.
But what would enrage such a ferocity? Many can conclude that it could not be spur of the moment anger. These attacks are highly organized and highly orthodoxed. The methods are becoming mroe refined. This person has obviously taken up to 2 years to plan this. The weaponry needed to conduct such attacks can be proven to take up to a year to gather fully off the black market, and planning and target practice could be months on their own. any good sharpshooter will tell you 6 months to a year of hard training may be required. So let us assume this plan has been in the works for 2 years
So what happened 2 years ago? President Bush was elected to office. A texan. A man of strong beliefs. A man who's election set off the fuse in a gay ass amateur porn loving lamer from MAryland who hates the smell of children and the elderly, and obviously dislikes texans.
With so much evidence and geographical plotting, who else could it be?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the killer:
KRAUT KILLER.
Allow me to supply you with some quotes for proper proof.
Kraut killer on the shootings:
[quote:b190f]Yeah... the Shell station where one of the shootings happened is walking distance from my grandmother's house[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer displays his wisdom on homosexuality
[quote:b190f]My theory on why the Navy gets bashed for being gay comes from the fact that they spend long times at sea, and there used to be just men on the ships[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer confesses his guilt
[quote:b190f]Potential murderer? I am a murderer... [/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer's display of public anger
[quote:b190f]that cock sucking cheese dick ass rammer didn't even use the shit he fuckin spewed out like a priest jizzing[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer admits his love of gay porn
[quote:b190f] I just explained where I've been... watching green's amateur gay porns.[/quote:b190f]
The messages become clear....KK on smells:
[quote:b190f]You could NEVER be me... you don't know my password... and you smell ...[/quote:b190f]
Finally, it all becomes obvious:
[quote:b190f]I hate Texans... they fucking suck.[/quote:b190f]
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been spelled all along. He lives in Maryland, he has contacts within range of the sites, he fits the profile perfect. I can do nothing but give you the evidence and allow you to decide...all these quotes are true, look them up and beware...he may be outside your door now...
FEAR THE CLITORIS!!!!!!!!!
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Major General
Posts: 14,130
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Fredericksburg, Virginia, USA
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10-08-2002, 08:54 PM
I NO VOTE HES INNOCENT!!! M16:
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Guest
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10-08-2002, 08:55 PM
hmmm, well here goes more heat on the gaming world. Dammit why cant people who play everquest be mass murderers not suicidal idiots! least they would bitch more about the crap games than something sweet like MOHAA. LOL
damn albow that was som major detective work.
he is as guilty as them gook whores in nam were cheap!
but since he only killed the old, who are going to die and the young who are so stupid they would eat marbles and die. I see no reason to punish him.
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Senior Member
Posts: 5,158
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Gatineau, Qc, Canada
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10-08-2002, 09:19 PM
Very thorough investigation and extrapolation, Albow. We must KILL Kraut
(or in this case, smelly oldies or youngies) Killer! I have the silver plate, can
someone provide the axe ? biggrin:
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Senior Member
Posts: 1,369
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Der Führer's bunker!
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10-08-2002, 09:30 PM
Hmm.... angel:
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 Re: The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! |
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Guest
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Re: The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! -
10-08-2002, 09:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Albow0001
2: It is a well documented fact that all snipers are "Gay-ass lamers", as can be easily proofed by attending any online game of Medal of Honour, or counter-strike.
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see this is what pisses me off. there are two types of snipers in moh. lamers and players. lamers sit and hide like little children and pick off people. then there are true snipers that run around the map picking off people long, and close range. ask anybody i play with, i act as if im using an smg when i snipe.
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Chief of Staff General
Posts: 20,691
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Brampton Ontario Canada
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10-08-2002, 09:39 PM
anti, you are so a lamer.
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 Re: The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! |
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Senior Member
Posts: 4,430
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hitler's Magic Barn
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Re: The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! -
10-08-2002, 09:45 PM
[quote="aNti hEro":c8b69]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Albow0001
2: It is a well documented fact that all snipers are "Gay-ass lamers", as can be easily proofed by attending any online game of Medal of Honour, or counter-strike.
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see this is what pisses me off. there are two types of snipers in moh. lamers and players. lamers sit and hide like little children and pick off people. then there are true snipers that run around the map picking off people long, and close range. ask anybody i play with, i act as if im using an smg when i snipe.[/quote:c8b69]
Then you're a sharp shooter, not a sniper, like Jackson.
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Senior Member
Posts: 2,081
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Philly, PA USA
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10-08-2002, 10:36 PM
I actually read the whole thing. Get bored? evil: happy:
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Guest
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10-08-2002, 10:41 PM
hey i have hitman2 anyone else have it? i wanna know if there's an invisible cheat cause i want to take screenshots.
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General of the Army
Posts: 18,895
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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10-08-2002, 10:48 PM
[quote:08272]Very thorough investigation and extrapolation, Albow. We must KILL Kraut
(or in this case, smelly oldies or youngies) Killer! I have the silver plate, can
someone provide the axe ? [/quote:08272]
Solidolidussey, I have a Shovel....! ed:
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Guest
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10-09-2002, 10:04 AM
hmmm.....no wonder kraut killer stop posting.
And you know whats even more scary.....I think we truly found the killer. ed:
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