The Maryland sniper: Unveiled!!! -
10-08-2002, 08:49 PM
The past few days have been a desperate and trying time for authorities trying to uncover the MAryland sniper. No doubt they are out in the cold trying to hunt down someone who could remain completely hidden. That is why i have decided that my theory must be put forward. Ladies and gentlemen, the Maryland sniper is a real person. But let us first draw a few conclusions:
1: To obtain the shots desired, the shooter in Maryland must indeed have been a sniper of sorts.
2: It is a well documented fact that all snipers are "Gay-ass lamers", as can be easily proofed by attending any online game of Medal of Honour, or counter-strike.
3: Most gay-ass lamers tend to be socially inept and afraid of people to a point of violent aggression
4: Aggression can come off in many ways, and may be reflected in what many people say, as well as a tendency to gay porn.
Therefore i am hereby putting my theories to the test. Detective Bill Rossmo has a theory that because all humans are essentially lazy, such as why you go to the corner store for milk, instead of Scotland, you would also go to the park to kill someone instead of across the ocean. People are lazy. Therefore we can conclude that the killer must be a gay ass lamer, who enjoys gay amateur porn, who lives in Maryland. For the killer to travel out of their way to take specific targets in Maryland is unlikely.
Following that logic, there must be reasoning for his attack. The sniper must have a particular dislike. Thusfar, the major targets have been school children and the elderly. Six consecutive attacks have proven so. What sets children and the elderly apart? what do they have in common?
They both smell. Awful. They both smell like a severed clitoris left to rot and wrangle in the sun after being removed from a swahili girl.
But what would enrage such a ferocity? Many can conclude that it could not be spur of the moment anger. These attacks are highly organized and highly orthodoxed. The methods are becoming mroe refined. This person has obviously taken up to 2 years to plan this. The weaponry needed to conduct such attacks can be proven to take up to a year to gather fully off the black market, and planning and target practice could be months on their own. any good sharpshooter will tell you 6 months to a year of hard training may be required. So let us assume this plan has been in the works for 2 years
So what happened 2 years ago? President Bush was elected to office. A texan. A man of strong beliefs. A man who's election set off the fuse in a gay ass amateur porn loving lamer from MAryland who hates the smell of children and the elderly, and obviously dislikes texans.
With so much evidence and geographical plotting, who else could it be?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, the killer:
KRAUT KILLER.
Allow me to supply you with some quotes for proper proof.
Kraut killer on the shootings:
[quote:b190f]Yeah... the Shell station where one of the shootings happened is walking distance from my grandmother's house[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer displays his wisdom on homosexuality
[quote:b190f]My theory on why the Navy gets bashed for being gay comes from the fact that they spend long times at sea, and there used to be just men on the ships[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer confesses his guilt
[quote:b190f]Potential murderer? I am a murderer... [/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer's display of public anger
[quote:b190f]that cock sucking cheese dick ass rammer didn't even use the shit he fuckin spewed out like a priest jizzing[/quote:b190f]
Kraut Killer admits his love of gay porn
[quote:b190f] I just explained where I've been... watching green's amateur gay porns.[/quote:b190f]
The messages become clear....KK on smells:
[quote:b190f]You could NEVER be me... you don't know my password... and you smell ...[/quote:b190f]
Finally, it all becomes obvious:
[quote:b190f]I hate Texans... they fucking suck.[/quote:b190f]
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been spelled all along. He lives in Maryland, he has contacts within range of the sites, he fits the profile perfect. I can do nothing but give you the evidence and allow you to decide...all these quotes are true, look them up and beware...he may be outside your door now...
FEAR THE CLITORIS!!!!!!!!!
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