weird joke

geRV · **weird joke -** 10-10-2002, 01:24 PM

Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a picnic.

So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is
the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Roy give me the
bottle opener."

"I didn"t bring it" says Roy. "I thought you packed it".

Mick gets worried, He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"

Naturally Andy didn"t bring it. So they"re stuck ten miles from home
without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it. But he
refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches while he's gone.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that
they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Roy sets off down
the road at a steady pace.

Twenty days pass and he still isn"t back and Mick and Andy are starving,
but a promise is a promise.

Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.

Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and
just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and
shouts, "SEE! I KNEW IT! I'M NOT GOING!"

eek:

Captain Bunny · 10-10-2002, 01:31 PM

Haha thats a good joke, ive heard many variations of it. did you not get it?

ninty · 10-10-2002, 01:33 PM

Well I don;t think it should have been Micks responsibility to pack the bottle opener. He already packed that sandwitches and the beer. Why can't any of the other tortoises do anything to help out?

Another question: Who carried the picnick backet?

Another: Wouldn't they get hungry for not eating for 10 days walking to the picnick? Then not eating for another 25?

Another: Couldn't they open the bottles on a rock or something? I mean you can stick the top of the bottle on something hard and hit it and the cap will come off.

Another: Why did they send Roy? Hes obviously the stupid one. Freiends always have someone stupid. Why didn't roy ask a local for a bottle opener. I'm sure someone would have given him a bottle opener.

Another: Why would they send Roy alone? Thats not rally a nice thing to do. They should haev aoll gone and got one and had the picnick in their back yard instead of walking 10 miles. Thats just a waste of time. What if it started to snow or rain and it took them 30 days to get back and they died cause they had no food cause they ate it all on the picnick? Ever think of that?

Sindonesia · 10-10-2002, 04:15 PM

Thanks for the laugh, haven't heard that one before. biggrin: biggrin:

Mr.X · 10-10-2002, 04:45 PM

...I heard that those three tortoises bashed and robbed a turtle on the way...but the turtle told police
he was unable to describe them "because it all happened so fast..." oOo:

10-10-2002, 04:53 PM

A guy sits down in a Cafe' and asks for the hot chile.
The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."
He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.
He says, "Are you going to eat that?"
The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."
He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes! the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, "That's about as far as I got, too."

ninty · 10-10-2002, 04:55 PM

MMMmmmm, puke chili.

Captain Bunny · 10-10-2002, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninty9

Well I don;t think it should have been Micks responsibility to pack the bottle opener. He already packed that sandwitches and the beer. Why can't any of the other tortoises do anything to help out?

Another question: Who carried the picnick backet?

Another: Wouldn't they get hungry for not eating for 10 days walking to the picnick? Then not eating for another 25?

Another: Couldn't they open the bottles on a rock or something? I mean you can stick the top of the bottle on something hard and hit it and the cap will come off.

Another: Why did they send Roy? Hes obviously the stupid one. Freiends always have someone stupid. Why didn't roy ask a local for a bottle opener. I'm sure someone would have given him a bottle opener.

Another: Why would they send Roy alone? Thats not rally a nice thing to do. They should haev aoll gone and got one and had the picnick in their back yard instead of walking 10 miles. Thats just a waste of time. What if it started to snow or rain and it took them 30 days to get back and they died cause they had no food cause they ate it all on the picnick? Ever think of that?

and the fact that tortoises are even going on a picnic (not picnick) is not a good enough reason to question? freak:

you know a town with money is a lot like a mule with a spinning wheel. damned if he knows how he got it, and damned if he knows how to use it.

Mr.X · 10-10-2002, 05:52 PM

Calgary Times 11-10-02 "Hero Honoured. For his outstanding investigative work in exposing potentialy fatal flaws
in Gerards "Three Tortoises" joke, Ninty9 was today presented with the keys to the city, along with a voucher for a rub'n'tug.
"Way cool" the Alberta man was quoted as saying. Gerard is currently helping police with their inquiries." eek:

ninty · 10-10-2002, 05:53 PM

Hey, I'm not here to discriminate against tortoises.

If they wanna have a picnic, thats fine by me.

ninty · 10-10-2002, 05:55 PM

[quote="Mr.X":3dadd]Calgary Times 11-10-02 "Hero Honoured. For his outstanding investigative work in exposing potentialy fatal flaws
in Gerards "Three Tortoises" joke, Ninty9 was today presented with the keys to the city, along with a voucher for a rub'n'tug.
"Way cool" the Alberta man was quoted as saying. Gerard is currently helping police with their inquiries." eek:[/quote:3dadd]

Thank you. Its great to be recgonized for the type of work I do. Its a dirty job, but somebodys gotta do it.

Mr.X · 10-10-2002, 07:48 PM

*WARNING: unsavoury joke*

Two Arab terrorists were looking at family photos,

Terrorist "this is my son, he's 16....he's a martyr now,
and this is my other son, he's 13....he's a martyr too..."

Other Terrorist "...*sigh*...yes, they blow up so fast these days..."

ninty · 10-10-2002, 07:58 PM

ROFLMFAOBIJRYPAIWTFTIHRIALTHSTWF

Good joke.