Help me. Serious problem. Don't know what to do...

redhawk_six · **Help me. Serious problem. Don't know what to do... -** 04-14-2003, 10:09 PM

Okay, I've got a VERY serious problem here.

It has to do with my ex, who I'm still friends with. She's a great girl, and I really love her, but lately, she's been heading down the wrong path. She quit smoking years ago, and stopped doing drugs last year. But, now, she's met a guy, a 23 year old by the name of dean. He's offered to let her be his room mate, and she's taking him up on the offer. She says he really cares about her, and that he's a great guy, but I KNOW he isn't. I've met him, for about a minute, and to tell you the truth, I don't really know him very well at all, but my gut is telling me he isn't a good guy, and my gut feels have NEVER been wrong before. She stayed with him for about a week to see what living with him was like. When she came home, she was smoking again, and even worse, back on drugs, hard drugs. She's admitted only to doing Lithium, but I strongly suspect she's also on heroin, which she has done in the past. She has OD'ed a few times in the past, a couple of them were very serious and involved a lengthy stay in the hospital. She's only 16, and I know if she keeps this up, it's not gonna have a good ending. Even more, I know this dean is going to hurt her, and one of her best friends agrees with me on this. I've tried talking to her about it, but she just gets angry and tells me to shutup, and go away. I've offered to help her in every way I can come up with, but she keeps rejecting my offers. I can't just sit by and watch her slowly destroy herself, but I can't think of anything to do. So, please, if any of you guys have any ideas, please let me know. I love her and can't stand this, but I just don't know what to do, I need help...

Bucknub · 04-14-2003, 10:12 PM

His name is Dean, That says it all....

cameltoe · 04-14-2003, 10:14 PM

just tell her what you wrote here. also call her a tard for doing heroine. a lot of my friends do a lot of drugs but have never done heroine, they say its for dumbasses who want to die poor hake:

Slinky2397 · 04-14-2003, 10:14 PM

A new motto, go...POSTAL!

Actually, don't know.

ninty · 04-14-2003, 10:17 PM

All you can do is talk to her. Tell her you really need to talk to her and she shold lisrten etc and tell her your feelings...exactly what you said here. If she won't listen, write a letter. you don't have to mail it or anything but sometimes writing a letter is a lot easier and better than talking in person. you can write down all of your feelings and give it to her. She can't tell you to shut up and she'll read it for sure. A letter is a good way of conveying your feelings without havng the complications that you talk about.

The only other things I can think of is talking to her parents. Where are her parents? Moving in with a 23 year old at 16? WTF is up with this guy anyway? he must be a perv. I'm 19 and I wouldn't really thnk of doing "anything" with a 16 year old. My brother is 15 and I just think of how hes closer to her age than me...that just freaks me out. and this dude is 4 years older than me. The only other thing than talking to her parents is maybe a councellor or support group. Maybe get a bunch of your friends together and confront her like they did on seinfeld for that guy who was on drugs. They called it an Interention.

Thats all I can think of. Good luck dude.

redhawk_six · 04-14-2003, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cameltoe

just tell her what you wrote here. also call her a tard for doing heroine. a lot of my friends do a lot of drugs but have never done heroine, they say its for dumbasses who want to die poor hake:

Yes, herione is a very hard drug, one of the listed common effects in the book "The Law Enforcement Handbook" is a Coma and/or Death. I've tried telling her all this, and more, but it just seems to frustrate her and make her angry. If I had money, I would hire an investigator to prove to her that this dean guy is not the sweet, kind, caring guy she thinks he is, but I don't have any money. I just don't what to do...

Slinky2397 · 04-14-2003, 10:24 PM

Seriously, I would tell her front up not to. Better that than wait for the "Hate to say I warned you" But it seems like she isn't going to believe you...

cameltoe · 04-14-2003, 10:24 PM

let her do her thing, if she doesnt care enough for herself to know whats dumb then youre caring too much

Ferich · 04-14-2003, 10:25 PM

Give her the old talk, then if she doesn't listen and ends up being a 2 dollar crackwhore, give her the old " I told you so. "

ninty · 04-14-2003, 10:25 PM

If you feel this way she must have other people around her who feel the same unless all her friends are druggies. get all your friends together and talk to her.

redhawk_six · 04-14-2003, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninty9

All you can do is talk to her. Tell her you really need to talk to her and she shold lisrten etc and tell her your feelings...exactly what you said here. If she won't listen, write a letter. you don't have to mail it or anything but sometimes writing a letter is a lot easier and better than talking in person. you can write down all of your feelings and give it to her. She can't tell you to shut up and she'll read it for sure. A letter is a good way of conveying your feelings without havng the complications that you talk about.

The only other things I can think of is talking to her parents. Where are her parents? Moving in with a 23 year old at 16? WTF is up with this guy anyway? he must be a perv. I'm 19 and I wouldn't really thnk of doing "anything" with a 16 year old. My brother is 15 and I just think of how hes closer to her age than me...that just freaks me out. and this dude is 4 years older than me. The only other thing than talking to her parents is maybe a councellor or support group. Maybe get a bunch of your friends together and confront her like they did on seinfeld for that guy who was on drugs. They called it an Interention.

Thats all I can think of. Good luck dude.

I've met her parents, they're good people, but they are just as confused about what to do as me. They've sent her to counseller after counseller, and nothing ever changes. I'm 18, and normally I wouldn't think of going out with someone as young as 16, but I guess you can't help who you fall in love with, and 2 years isn't as bad as the 7 year diffrence between dean and her. He is a pervert. He's been sexually harrasing her 15 year old friend, calling her, trying to get her to come see him, shit like that. I think I'll talk to her friends, an intervention might work, maybe if enough of us confront her, she'll see that we really do care about her... I don't know, I'll talk to her friends...

redhawk_six · 04-14-2003, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ninty9

If you feel this way she must have other people around her who feel the same unless all her friends are druggies. get all your friends together and talk to her.

Her friends aren't druggies... at least not the ones I've met...

Ferich · 04-14-2003, 10:29 PM

If she wouldn't do the same for you, don't do shit.

redhawk_six · 04-14-2003, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ferich

If she wouldn't do the same for you, don't do shit.

She probably would do the same for me... at least I think she would... I don't know, I'll talk to her friends, maybe try an intervention. If that doesn't work, than I guess I'll just have to give her a choice, drug and dean, or me, because I can't do this, I can't sit back and watch her throw away her life and destroy herself.

Ferich · 04-14-2003, 10:32 PM

Also, get that guy to change his name from Dean to something more....unstupid.