[Steel]

“It’s a male thing!” I half turn and shout at my wife as I wait impatiently for the game to load. She stands hands on hips, “Oh yeah? Explain it then.” She replies.

“Look,” I begin, “we males like to fight. We stalk, run, turn, track multiple objects. We’re cool, we’re good. You females can’t even find your way on a map. Yeah,” I chuckle, “go up to the motorway roundabout and turn left. Now you facing North or South, East or West?” I ask in a knowingly triumphant tone.

“Ahhhhhh!” She screams at me. “Ok then hot shot, show me.”

The games loaded. Medal of Honour multiplayer begins. I can hear the other players running around. I head for the stairs as I hear footsteps on the stairwell. Were they going up or down? Can’t tell so I toss a grenade down the stairs as I spin around. Moving backwards up the stairs, the machine gun already selected in one fluid movement. The other soldier is startled as I empty a quick burst into his torso.

I spin around again and peer through the window catching site of another player running across the courtyard. Rat-at-at-at. Another one down.

I step back out of sight and pause for a second. Listening for any tell tale sounds. Yes, there it is. Someone walking up metal steps. Hah! They are going for the heavy machine gun in the courtyard. Dumb newbies eh? Always going for the big guns. You can read them like a comic book.

I make my way around the rear of the building and skip down a plank through the bombed out wall and onto the flat roof below. Bingo. There he is, just about to start covering the level in lead from the larger weapon. I creep up behind him and let a short double burst leave him a crumpled on the floor. Then a flash of movement from a top floor window. Curtains swaying in the wind and behind it the tell tale uniform of an American GI. Rat-at-at. Another one for the trophy room eh?

Move left, right, zig zagging as I go. Two more virtual players meet the same fate. Another grenade through a window, boom! My score is now eight. I see the best score on this three minute old level is also eight. That’s me! I’m good, real good!

I run through a door and make my way upstairs. I crouch as I move slowly towards the window. My gloating to my wife is almost louder than the game sounds.

Thwack!

A red mist fills the screen as I crumple to the floor. Killed by a single shot.

I glance at the screen. It reads “Steel was sniped in the head by Brenda.”

I lower my head and turn to face the nodding head and rolling eyes of my wife.

Damn!