My life dillema

Poseidon · **My life dillema -** 01-27-2006, 06:06 AM

Alight sorry if this is abit long but I need to explain the situation

2 months ago, my mum was put into a pysiciatric ward, im not going into details as to why. A couple of days before she broke up with my Dad, ended the marrage pretty much! My dad has moved out and is now living with his parents.

My mum was put on section 3 meaning she wasnt allowed to leave the hospital. In the meantime, myself and my 2 sisters have been living on our own in the rented house. Me and one of my other sisters have been splitting the cost of the house - rent, food, some of the bills etc between us.

This last week my mum has been released from the hospital, and is now living with us again. This is where the fun starts. She is getting a little money in benefts as she is not working, this is supposed to be paying for the bills, but she is blowing all this money on tatoos, nose/ eye brow piercings, and just other random shit. Meaning we are having no more money coming in to pay for bills.

My mums whole character has completely changed since she has returned. She now has a 'I dont give a fuck attitude' everything about her personality has completely changed. She started smoking a week before she went mental (after 10 years of being smoke free) and she is now smoking in the house - which I realllly hate, and have approached her multiple times nicely and harshly. Yet she still doesnt give a fuck. She is bilding a VERY fine line between us and I feel I am going to flip sometime soon! The whole house is a fucking shithole. nothing is washed up, cleaned or anything, I have no room to move around my own damn kitchen, as dishes are left lyring around, there are usualyl no tea spoons or knives to use, as their all in the sink.

I am already pretty stretched in my own finances as I have my own loan to pay off and have a car to pay for, as well as the house and living expenses. I also need to think about my social life and my girlfriend. I have a shit job, and have been looking for something better for months, without joy.

Basically I am thinking of getting a flat with my sister, it'll be slightly harder financially but I'll be having a better home life. Wed' have to get a small loan to cover some furnashing, although we have enough stuff between us to furnish most of the house.

If we were to move out, the goverment would pay for everything for my mum and my remaining sister, although they will have to move into a small house or flat. there would be more than enough money to live on through the benefits they will receive..

I'm just fucking sick of this house and this family. But i'll need a better paid job before a we move out.

Any advise?

Nyck · 01-27-2006, 06:13 AM

have her sign up for an account on gf1.

tough call man any chance of contacting you dad about the situation. I think I moved out when I was 20 something so it can be done. you'll just have to really check your finances and budget accordingly.

tomxtr · 01-27-2006, 06:18 AM

Hopefully its just a phase and she's adjusting to single life and just acting out a bit. I think moving out is a good idea. Sounds like your mom needs some space to herself and a wake up call.

What about your other sister. Is she younger? I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her in those conditions. Sucks. Good luck with everything.

Poseidon · 01-27-2006, 06:43 AM

I visit my dad reguarly. There is nothing he can really do as she wont speak to him, and the house' tenency agreement has already been signed over to my mum.

My other sister is 17 shes at college, but wants to stay with her mum. Theres nothing I can do about it.

Sgt>Stackem · 01-27-2006, 07:09 AM

you have to tough it out. My parents died early in my life (dad at 5 mom at 12) we were left totally alone I was 12 my two brothers were 15 and 18. We raised ourselves without help from anyone. It is hard but you have to do it. It may suck now but later in life you will be better off. You will learn alot of lifes lessons before all of your friends and that will prepare you for the things you run into later in life. I got my first job at 12 years old and have never been unemployed since (a 6 month streach but thats all ). you need to do the same. Develop a good work ethic and run with it. It will get worse before it gets better. Hang in there.

Arkan · 01-27-2006, 09:55 AM

Wow Sgt Stackem, tough life there bud.

If i were you, i'd talk with your Father and explain to him the importance of you going to college and getting an education so you can take care of yourself. He needs to step to the plate for his kids. Fuck him, tell him to move over, you're moving in with him as well. No need to leave you there with that mess. Don't feel bad for your sisters, they're old enough to do their own thing and besides, they'll end up with a guy who'll move them out and care for them. You're the one at a disadvantage. Tell the 'ol man you need him now.

If that fails, perhaps a really close friend or (not the best advise) even the g/f....just so you can get on your feet and do it alone. Good luck and keep us posted.

Machette · 01-27-2006, 09:59 AM

I think everyone has a point as to moving out..maybe you should go see a accountant and he/she may help you out with your financial situation and tell you how far you can stretch out your money problem..

Also thats a rough life their Sgt Stackem, glad to see you turned out on the bright side of things.

Mr.Buttocks · 01-30-2006, 09:41 AM

That's a shitty situation Poseidon. I hope everything works out ok for you and your family.

Scorpion -]M15F1T[- · 01-30-2006, 10:18 AM

[quote="Mr.Buttocks":86b21]That's a shitty situation Poseidon. I hope everything works out ok for you and your family.[/quote:86b21]

I would also say if your mum has "mental issues" then maybe you can get
a power of attourney sp? order and manage the house yourself.
I dont think from what you say that this is something she would do if
she wasnt having problems. You definatly need to go to the CAB and maybe also talk to shelter as they can help in housing matters and get you and your sis a good place to stay.

I admit I only read your post quick cos I am in work so sorry if I have got the wrong end of the stick.

Poseidon · 01-30-2006, 10:27 AM

Tomorrow we get a decision from the hospital as to whether they are going to completely discharge her from the ward. As far as they are aware based on how much she has improved from going into hospital, to now, she seems to them completely normal, however they havent seen the change from before she went into hospital (the 19 years of the mother i really had) to the mother I now have. She is a completely different person. Yet the doctors are unable to see this from a bigger picture.

Myself and my sister are currently looking at our financial situation.. I'm currently on the hunt for a new/better paid job in order to afford this. We have seen some really nice flats in the area, but are on the wee expensive side. But if I can find the job im looking for we'll be moving in sometime early this year hopefully!

Sgt>Stackem · 01-30-2006, 10:36 AM

keep your head up. You got delt a shitty hand. I hope it plays out well

Milla · 01-30-2006, 11:26 AM

Move in with a relative posideon for the time being, no need to waste your money on a place at this age, save up man. Look at me, im almost 21 and i still live at home because i cannot afford a place around here, cost of living here has almost tripled since ive been here

tomxtr · 01-30-2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milla

Move in with a relative posideon for the time being, no need to waste your money on a place at this age, save up man. Look at me, im almost 21 and i still live at home because i cannot afford a place around here, cost of living here has almost tripled since ive been here

Unless you're going to school full-time and holding down a job on your summer breaks, you bet your ass you'd be out of my house by HS graduation.

There's a big difference in being able to afford a place of your own and affording a place of your own while maintaining your current lifestyle. Once I left home for school, I never moved back in. Same with my two brothers. I had a shitty car, didn't have money to go out as often as I would've liked and didn't spend a load of money on clothes, but I got by. Like Stackem said, there's something to be said for being out on your own and learning to appreciate money.

Nothing personal. calmdown:

Pyro · 01-30-2006, 11:57 AM

I don't really like how people who choose to move out rag on the people who stay home.

It is much better and if your parents are willing why not? Id be a stupid person if I choose to move out now...though I do work 24 hours a week and go to school as well...but if I had to live on my own id be screwed...my marks would fall...and id be in the gutter trying to pull myself out of it instead of preventing that by staying at home.

Anyways...man...I hope everything works out.

Milla · 01-30-2006, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tomxtr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milla

Move in with a relative posideon for the time being, no need to waste your money on a place at this age, save up man. Look at me, im almost 21 and i still live at home because i cannot afford a place around here, cost of living here has almost tripled since ive been here

Unless you're going to school full-time and holding down a job on your summer breaks, you bet your ass you'd be out of my house by HS graduation.

There's a big difference in being able to afford a place of your own and affording a place of your own while maintaining your current lifestyle. Once I left home for school, I never moved back in. Same with my two brothers. I had a shitty car, didn't have money to go out as often as I would've liked and didn't spend a load of money on clothes, but I got by. Like Stackem said, there's something to be said for being out on your own and learning to appreciate money.

Nothing personal. calmdown:

spank:

Indeed i goto school,m not full time this semester, and i do work but im looking for a new job